Close To the Heart

In class today as we discussed the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I shared my experience with Grizelda and what I have learned about the Atonement from that experience. Sharing the story brought back a lot of emotions and feelings that are riding close to the surface of my heart right now. But, today added something more to those feelings.

I brought my cage to class to show the students, and as soon as I pulled it out of the sack a student on the front row burst into tears. He continued to weep as I told the story and finally got up and left. He returned a few minutes later trying to compose himself, but it wasn’t until after class as I spoke to him that he told me that his mother died two years ago of a brain tumor and she, too, had a cage like mine that fit only her, that had been used when she went through radiation.

Obviously this brings up many questions such as why I was spared and she wasn’t. Why was I so blessed and not her? I have no answer to that question, and can only trust in the wisdom of God. But I feel the weight of the question someplace deep in my stomach. Where much is given, much is expected and I was given so much . . . so what is expected?

In a few minutes I will go into another classroom and teach the same lesson to a different class. I want them to feel the essence and importance of the Atonement. I want them to understand the love Jesus Christ has for them, but I also hope I won’t cut as close to anyone else’s heart as I did this morning.

"Line Upon LIne"

There are many reasons for not being able to understand gospel principles. As Nephi explains to his brothers, and as is evident with Corianton, sin can often keep us from understanding. When our lives are cluttered with sin the ways of God just don’t make sense. But sin isn’t always the problem. Sometimes we don’t understand because we haven’t been taught the principle yet. In that case we need to study and search and pray until we do understand. Other times the reason we don’t understand is that what we are questioning is dependent upon principles that come before it and if we didn’t understand those correctly, we can’t understand the new principle. 

As 2 Nephi 28:30 explains:  “For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom.”

We’ve all heard this and understand that we learn one precept at a time. But inherent in this principle is an unstated concept that is also important. If learning is done one principle at a time “precept upon precept” like a mason building a brick wall, then one of the reasons we might not understand is that the first brick is misplaced or not plumb or crooked, so that succeeding bricks won’t fit right. In other words, if a basic principle is not understood, the principles that build on that one won’t be comprehensible. They won’t fit.

But through repentance, study, and humbly analyzing our present understandings we can grow “line upon line,” and “precept upon precept,” and make for ourselves a very firm, straight, enduring brick wall of gospel understanding.

My Natal Day

My Flaming Cheesecake

I am officially a day older today than I was yesterday. In other words, I celebrated my birth day. Mother came down for dinner, brought a birthday crown for me to wear, and told me all about the day I was born, sunny but cold, and how fast I was born, the doctor didn’t even make it. She loves to tell me that I was the one who made her a mother and I love to hear her say it. Present also was D5 and her family, a son-in-law, my daughter in law, four grandchildren, and of course, Mr. J.

Mr. J cooked dinner and let me choose the menu. For a man who years ago couldn’t boil water, he’s come a long, long way. He made a delicious massaman curry dish, my daughter-in-law made a wonderful salad, and D5, knowing how much I love lemon made me a lemon cheese cake AND a lemon meringue pie. The dinner was fantastic, but the best part, which is always my favorite part of a good dinner, was sitting around the table after everyone was full, talking and visiting and laughing. I loved it.

It is easy to stay in the present moment when the present moment is so delightful. I think I’ll capture the feeling of yesterday and store it up and bring it out whenever I begin to slip into the Pit.

Sabbath Scripture - Enjoy!

O taste and see that the Lord is good:

blessed is the man that trusteth in him.

Psalm 34:8

Climbing the Family Tree

Family Tree here

I've been reading some family histories my mother gave me for Christmas and marveling at the ancestors that made me. I've heard most of the stories before; I grew up on them. But reading them now when I've experienced so much more of life, I appreciate what the stories mean more than I ever did before. For example, my great-grandmother Christina Marie Sorensen Anderson (Steena for short) was widowed when she was just forty-seven years old. She'd given birth to eleven children and also raised two other neighbor boys whose extended family refused to take them in when their parents died. She only had a few weeks of education and so when she was left to care for the family, she did the only thing she could, she farmed to keep them all alive and in her spare time was midwife to most of the women in the area. She lived a widow for forty-nine years, and I remember her making the most delicious cinnamon rolls I've ever tasted in her big, black, coal burning stove.

Her seven daughters have been my idols all my life. They were strong women--all of them either nurses or school teachers who each faced incredible adversity and tribulation with courage and strength. It makes me proud and has inspired me knowing that I am an "Anderson Woman." One of these Anderson Women was my grandmother, the oldest of the sisters and a school teacher who served a mission in Hawaii, who died when my mother was sixteen so I never knew her, but her influence has been with me every day of my life.

Reading these histories has warmed me, and it can warm you. It seems that sometimes we feel so alone in life. Discouragement sets in, dull winter days erode the joy, and life feels empty. At those times one of the best things you can do is remember the stories of those who have gone before you. Everyone has someone a generation or two back who inspires courage and motivates to be better. If you haven't found that person or persons on your family tree, start searching. I guarantee you they are there, and when you find their story and savor it, you will feel of their spirit walking beside you every day bouying you up and urging you on through the cold Januaries of life.

Visitor or Proprietor?

Living in Truth can be summed up in several ways. Elder Wirthlin said, “Come what may, and love it.” I like, “Take what comes and love it.” Both sayings capture the feeling of accepting what life hands you without simply enduring. There is something more. Living in Truth is about accepting and at the same time enjoying.


Before I knew about Living in Truth I was accepting out of some sense that accepting was what was expected of a Christian. But I was enduring with gritted teeth and squinty tight eyes. I hadn’t caught on to the enjoying part. I was accepting and bravely, stoically enduring. But Living in Truth is about accepting and embracing with delight what comes. It is about truly living!

I don’t know how much time I have left on this earth-a day or several decades-but I now know that when I am called to move on I want to be able to say that I lived on earth not that I merely paid a visit.

The Beauty of Bible Words

One of the reasons I love the scriptures so much is because of the words used in scripture. The meaning of those words is, of course, wonderful, but the simple music and poetry of the words is also beautiful. Take for example this verse that describes the feeling of utter dejection:

“I am poured out like water, 

and all my bones are out of joint: 

my heart is like wax;

it is melted in the midst of my bowels”

(Psalms 21:14).

          Read that verse out loud and listen to the rhythmic cadence of the syllables. Read it again and listen to the sounds that flow around and through the vowels.  Read it again and pay attention to the beautiful metaphors. We’ve all been in dire circumstances when we feel like we are being poured out like water. We can relate to that phrase, and it sinks deeper into our hearts than the statement, “I feel horrible.” 

          But it isn’t just the Psalms or Proverbs in which beautiful language communicates heavenly and human thoughts and feelings so beautifully. The scriptures are full of exquisite language and sometimes we need to stop and savor the music of the words as well as the meaning.

          God has given us many things not only for our instruction, but for our pleasure. So today I'm celebrating the delight of the words He has given us.