Friday Challenge - Is It True?

How did you do with the "Fix it or Live With It?" challenge from last week?

We'll deal with the Live With It part of that soon,

 but the challenge today is to Question.

LIT Challenge #3

QUESTION????

Questioning is a simple thing to do, 

but it can make all the difference in your day.

When vexing thoughts begin to stir in you, simply stop and ask the question, 

"It that true?"

And remember, "Truth is verity." 

Truth is what is.

For example, your husband is late coming home from work and you begin to think that he must have been in an automobile accident. After all, he's always home by now. 

You begin to fret, but stop and ask, 

"Is that true?" No! He is simply late. That is what is.

You laugh at yourself and go on with your day.

This works with so many things in our lives not just worrying. 

Another example:

You put on a dress and look in the mirror and think, "This makes me look so fat!"

"Is that true?" Usually it isn't. 

We are just in a picky mood and no matter what we put on we'd think we were fat. 

So drop the thought and go out not thinking about yourself, but others.

One more example:

Your child wants you to help her do something, 

but you are very tired and put her off. 

She begins to cry and you think, "I'm such a terrible mother."

"Is that true?" No! 

You are not a terrible mother you are a tired mother. That is what is. 

There is a big difference between tired and terrible.

All of us get tired and don't function at full capacity from time to time. 

Questioning works really well with any of the stories we tell ourselves.

 "She doesn't like me any more." 

"Mother favors my sister over me." 

"I'm a hopeless failure." 

"I can't speak in public." 

So this week analyze your thoughts and answer honestly, 

"Is that true?" 

 and let me know what happens.

Just Be Curious

Awhile back I discovered a new Truth Tool that I used and then for some reason forgot all about. But it is a good one--Curiosity. I discovered it by watching how children deal with negative experiences. Children are naturally resilient and I realized that part of what makes them so resilient is their curiosity about life.

I love this Truth Tool and realize that I have used it on many occasions in my life without recognizing that it is a Truth Tool. Here’s how it works. When vexation starts to swell in you, instead of being sucked into the negative feelings get curious about them. An example will best explain how this works.

Let’s say you suddenly get bad news that your company is laying off 200 workers and you are one of them. Vexation! The negative feelings start to rise in you and the Should Sharks begin to attack. “What am I going to do? I’ve got bills to pay!” “This shouldn't t be happening. I’ve been a good employee for twenty years! I’m too old to find a new job.” “This isn’t fair!” “I always knew this company could care less about employees. All that matters to them are dollars.” These thoughts cause negative feelings to knot in the stomach and choke in the chest.

But then you remember the Truth Tools and pull out Curiosity and change the way you are thinking to things like:

“I wonder what lesson God wants me to learn from this.” 

“When God closes a window, He opens a door. I wonder what door will open for me now.” 

“I can’t wait to see what tender mercies will come my way to help me through this.” 

“I wonder how this is going to make me grow.”

 

In short, be curious instead of worrying and stay in the Realm of Truth.

I'm Learning

Yesterday I had one of those interesting moments when Living in Truth saved me. Our ward is doing a Passover Seder this coming Saturday to help us prepare for Easter. While the Passover is traditionally a Jewish festival, God commanded the people to observe it in the book of Exodus which is part of our Old Testament. So to help our ward members understand the significance and why we as Christians are doing it, the bishopric asked me to speak about it in Sacrament meeting. They told me that there would only be two speakers, me and the high councilman so to plan on 20 to 25 minutes. So I did.

Well, I got to the meeting and they had added a speaker. And to make a long story short, I left the high councilman very little time which I feel very bad about. I cut a lot of my talk out, but it wasn't enough. I apologized profusely to the high councilman, but what was done was done. I really did feel bad about it.

Then as I was leaving Church a woman stopped me and said, "I really wanted to hear that high councilman speak today, and then when you went on and on and on." I wasn't sure how to respond to that except to say, "I'm sorry." She had poured salt into an open wound. But could I fix it? No. But I could learn from it.

I pulled out the Truth Tool humor and laughed at myself. I was in the wrong. There was nothing I could do to change it. Other people had noticed and wished I hadn't gone over time. Could I change that? No. So, I had to cry or laugh, and I choose to laugh. What can I say? I make mistakes. I hope I've learned from this one. And I should be thankful this good sister helped me learn my lesson. Bless her little heart!

Truth for Health!

We’ve talked a lot about Living in Truth and the help Truth Tools can be in your quest to Live in Truth, but I haven’t talked much about the advantages of Living in Truth. But there are many and they aren't just mental. A report from Johns Hopkins explains, “Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, un-forgiveness, and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.” And relaxing and enjoying and loving life, whatever it brings to you, is what Living in Truth is all about.
 

Many studies now show that when we get trapped into the negative feelings found in the Pit of Illusion, it not only makes us miserable but it adversely affects our health. When we Live in Truth we are not only at peace but are healthier.

Friday Challenge

It's Friday! 

How did you do with Anchoring yourself to the present moment during the past week? 

I'd really would like to hear your stories. 

So report In!

Living in Truth Challenge #2 - Fix it or Live With It

Remember vexation is the first clue that we have left the  

Realm of Truth 

and drifted into  

Illusion. 

Let's use an example here that we can all relate to. Someone in your life disappoints you.

Perhaps they said they'd do something for you and they don't do it. Or maybe we expect something to happen and it doesn't like your spouse forgets your wedding anniversary. Suddenly you find yourself swimming with the Should Sharks. 

"He/she should have remembered. No one cares about me. If he/she loved me they'd remember." 

This week the challenge is to stop yourself the minute the Should Sharks attack and ask the questions, "Can I fix this or do I need to live with it?"

 If the answer is that you can fix it, go ahead and do it without wasting more time feeling sorry for yourself. If the answer is that you can't, then drop the  

Unnecessary Pain 

and get on with your life. 

Back to our example: Can you fix the fact that your spouse forgot your anniversary? No. What's done is done, and you can't change it. But you can control how you feel about it. You can make the situation worse by crying, complaining, getting angry, nagging, shutting yourself in your room and in other ways feeling sorry for yourself, etc. Or you can use the same amount of time and energy on fixing it. You can make a joke out of it and laugh. Buy yourself a present for your spouse to give to you. Take your spouse out to dinner. Or you can decide that next year you are going to send a note to your spouse before the date with a reminder or give some other hint so this doesn't happen again. At this point another Should Shark begins to circle: "If he/she loved me, he/she would remember!" Is that true? No way! Different people have different ways of showing love, and associating the ability to remember with the ability to love is an Illusion.

So. . . this week as soon as the vexation begins to boil, stop and ask, 

"Can I fix this or do I have to live with it?" 

and then do what you have to avoid the  

Unnecessary Pain 

and stay in the  

Realm of Truth.

The Cheerful Command

In the Doctrine and Covenants section 123 there is a wonderful phrase that encourages and instructs. It says, “Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power.” The section is talking about how to proceed despite the persecution, wrongs committed against the saints, and the adversity they encounter. The revelation was given to Joseph Smith while he was incarcerated in Liberty Jail undergoing some of the worst persecution of his life.

The encouragement to go on striving and enduring and doing whatever is in our power for good and for righteousness is wonderful, but the thing that strikes me is that we are to do all those things cheerfully. I’m not real good at cheerful, but I want to get better at it. That’s one of the reasons I’ve studied Truth and identified the Truth Tools is because I need help in this area—it doesn’t come naturally to me. But over the last few years I’ve felt myself growing and changing and so I know cheerful is possible to learn.

This possibility of change is what Moroni is talking about when he tells us that the Lord will “make weak things become strong unto” you (Ether 12:27). Growth and change are difficult, but not impossible because we have the help of the Lord—He will make it happen if we just keep trying. And that thought helps me do all things cheerfully!

Living in Truth Challenge

I've been pondering on how to make this blog more useful and I've decided that every Friday I will suggest a Living in Truth Challenge for all of us to work on during the week.

Too often in our quest to better ourselves and make life more enjoyable we take on too much and get overwhelmed and discouraged. But when we break the process of growth down into steps and take it one step at a time, growth and change become much more doable and especially much more enjoyable.

With that said, let me be your personal Living in Truth Life Coach. I know what peace and joy Living in Truth has given me and the wonderful changes it has made in my life and I want to share that with you. So let's get started with week one!

 LIT Step #1:

Live in the Present Moment

This week watch your thoughts and when they start to drift into worry or fear or discouragement or anything vexing don't try to fight them. Simply Anchor (click here)  yourself back to the present moment.
The present moment always holds an abundant source of joy, peace, hope, love, and gratitude that is just waiting to be yours. So go for it!

Feel free to look back over past posts on being in the present or the Truth Tool Anchoring (click here) if you think it will help. And share your comments about your experience. By sharing we encourage and help each other find a more abundant life.

When you Live in Truth you live in Happiness.

Sick Hearts

In Proverbs I found a piece of advice that I like. It says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23). The Complete Jewish Bible translates that same verse as, “Above everything else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life's consequences.” And the NIV translates it, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

This past few weeks as I fought off the flu and pneumonia all at the same time I had a lot of time to ponder and I began to think about what the world would be like if people spent as much time worrying and striving to keep their hearts healthy as they do about keeping their bodies healthy. When negative things like jealously, anger, resentment, grudges, or fear enter our hearts do we seek for ways to inoculate ourselves against them? Many of us stock up on cold and flu medicine at this time of year. But are we seeking out and storing up knowledge of how to rid ourselves of spiritual illnesses? When we feel negative things creeping into our hearts do we act immediately and fight off the negative emotions like we would fight off a headache, fever, or cough. Or do we sit back and say, “Well that’s part of life” And let it fester and grow?

Negative feelings are sickness to the heart. But the Truth Tools are medicine that heals the heart and keeps us living in Truth. It takes effort, but it is worth it. There is only bitterness to be had by drinking from the sickspring that is found in the Pit of Illusion. Instead, we can drink from the Wellspring of Living Waters and be filled with joy and peace.

Truth Tools

Brigham Young once gave this advice, “When you are tempted, buffeted, and step out of the way inadvertently; when you are overtaken in a fault, or commit an overt act unthinkingly; when you are full of evil passion, and wish to yield to it, then stop and let the spirit, which God has put into your tabernacles, take the lead. If you do that, I will promise that you will overcome all evil, and obtain eternal lives. But many, very many, let the spirit yield to the body, and are overcome and destroyed” (Discourses of Brigham Young, selected and arranged by John A. Widtsoe, p.70).

President Young is talking here about sin, but the beginning of all sin is negative thoughts. So if we can stop the negative thoughts and change them to positive thoughts, our actions will always be positive. The key is to find the strategies that work for us and then learn to use them. And that is what the Truth Tools are all about. They are Tools to use to stop the tempting thoughts, the vexing thoughts, the angry thoughts, the lustful thoughts, any negative thoughts that may pop into our heads, and allow the Spirit to guide us to what we should do.

I like to compare the Truth Tools to the stick shift of the car I learned to drive in. When in reverse I always needed to go into neutral before I could go forward. Negative emotions are like that. It is very difficult to go from anger to love, but if instead I just concentrate using the Truth Tools to get me from anger to neutral, the Spirit then helps me get to love.

Truth Tool--Anchoring

My very favorite Truth Tool is Anchoring. The way Anchoring works is that whenever you feel any vexation—any negative feelings building inside you—you stop and Anchor yourself to the present moment. You concentrate on NOW. To do this you refuse to think about anything except what is present before you. Concentrate on the colors and shapes, the sounds, the feel of the textures your hands and body are touching, the subtle odors in the air. In other words you engage all of your senses on what is there for them right NOW.

Don’t let any thoughts about the things you should have said to your friend yesterday or the bills that are coming due tomorrow or anything from the past or about the future enter your mind. Just enjoy this very minute and what the Lord is giving you right now. This may sound similar to forms of meditation that are taught in Eastern religious practices, but it is different. In meditation you push ALL thought away and try to make the mind go blank. But in Anchoring you let the senses connect you to the current moment. As you connect to the present you find that there are other things available in the present besides what you can see, feel, hear, taste, and smell.

As the Lord has told us in D&C 59:18-19, “Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart; Yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul.” What this means is that the things around us are given to us not just for physical sustenance but to “gladden the heart” and “to enliven the soul.” The problem is that we get our minds so full of what needs to be done or what has happened to us in the past that we don’t pay attention to what is right before us. We are living in the past or future and ignoring the present. By Anchoring in the current moment you open yourself up to experience the joy, love, hope, and peace that are always available in the present moment. As President Thomas S. Monson has instructed, "Learn from the past, prepare for the future, live in the present" (Ensign, May 2003, 22).

 Try Anchoring while doing menial tasks such as washing dishes or pulling weeds. Concentrate on how your hands move, the feel of the water or soil on your hands, the smell of the soap or soil, the sound of the dripping water or dropping soil, etc. and then pay attention to what comes to you as you Anchor. Anchoring does away with vexation and opens the windows of heaven for us to peer through. I love life when I'm anchored.

Smile Away Pain

There's more to this Humor Truth Tool than meets the eye.

Many years ago I read in a science magazine about how psychologist had discovered that feelings cause chemical changes in the body. But more than that, they discovered that mimicking the facial features that accompany the feeling will also cause the chemical changes. So they suggested that a person smile even if he or she didn't have a reason to smile and the chemicals would kick in to create happiness.

 

This picture should give you a good laugh for the day!

This morning this was in our local paper, The Deseret News, "Researchers are finding that wearing a smile brings certain benefits, like slowing down the heart and reducing stress. This may even happen when people aren't aware they are forming a smile, according to a recent study. The work follows research that established that the act of smiling can make you feel happier."

So I’ve come up with a great idea. There are days when smiling is simply impossible. Everything is going wrong. Nothing is going right. You can’t make yourself smile. On those terrible, horrible, no good days, simply put a pencil in your mouth to hold the shape of a smile.

I guarantee that after awhile you’ll feel better. (If the chemical changes in your body aren’t doing the trick, hearing every one laugh at you certainly will!)

So keep smiling!

Truth Tool - Humor

Concerning life, many people have said something similar to this: "You can laugh or you can cry, but laughing is a lot more fun." I agree, and that is why humor is a powerful Truth Tool.

You've all also heard that laughter is medicine for the soul. There are many reasons for that. First of all,  many of us take ourselves far too seriously, but by learning to laugh at ourselves we open up whole new areas of healthy, pain free living. We can do this in many ways. One thing that works for me is to use my over-stimulated imagination and when I start to worry or have other negative feelings about myself I exaggerate the things I’m worrying about to the extreme until suddenly I’m laughing at the preposterousness of what I’m thinking.

I’m embarrassed to admit it now, but years ago whenever my husband came home late, I’d find myself thinking, “Oh no! He’s been in an accident!” And I’d have the funeral planned, and sometimes even got to the point I was in tears as I pondered how I was going to support the children all by myself. But I’ve learned that when I start thinking “accident” to change to a funny story like Mr. J decided to stop and hike to the top the mountain and then I imagine him in his shirt and tie, trying to hike. I let my imagination go all out. He’s taking along his briefcase and laptop and fighting the brush back with it held in front of him like a shield. His face is full of determination and when he gets to the top of the mountain, he rips open his shirt to reveal a big “S” for Superman. Besides keeping me feeling good, when I do this my husband arrives home to a cheerful wife instead of a morose one.

Someone told me that you’re going to laugh about most of the situations of life when you look back on them, so why not laugh now. Learning to see the humor in the situations, even the mistakes we make, instead of beating ourselves up over things, is a powerful Truth Tool.

And if you are careful and avoid sarcasm, Humor can be used to change tense situations. I’ve told this story before but it is worth repeating. One day Mr. J came home from work so grouchy that everyone avoided him. He went in his office and we all went into the kitchen to get dinner. As D3 was setting the table I noticed that she put a large cereal bowl of sugar at her dad’s place. I waited to see what was going on. Finally dinner was ready and we called Mr. J in to eat. As he approached his place and saw the bowl of sugar, he stopped and growled, “What’s this?”

D3 timidly spoke up, “We thought if you ate that you’d be a lot sweeter.” He started to laugh, all the stress left him, and he returned to his cheerful self.

Humor, can be biting and sarcastic and hurtful, but when used correctly it can be a powerful Tool to help us stay firmly grounded in the Realm of Truth.

More on Music

As I said yesterday, music is a powerful preventative Truth Tool. While listening to good music, you are encouraged and uplifted and better able to fend off vexation. But when vexing moments happen it can also help us to listen to music to help keep us calm. I had a delightful experience with this a few years ago. I had been to lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen for a long time and on the way home was running an errand. Here’s how my journal records what happened next:

I parked beautifully. No car damage. No problems. Got out of the car. Locked the car. Shut the door. Noticed that the car keys were dangling from the ignition. (In that order!)

Taking three long slow breaths I asked myself, what now? I could swear (which I'm unaccustomed to doing.) I could scream. (Which I have done on occasion.) Or I could walk home and get the extra set of keys. I opted for the latter and having my new Ipod in my purse, I put on some encouraging, up beat music to dispel the mood—the Beach Boys—and began marching homeward. I hadn't gotten far into "Surfin' USA" when I realized that my house key was also locked in the car. No matter. That music is very cheerful and so I hoped Josh was home to let me in. Then just into the catchy, "Be True to Your School" I realized that during the hustle and bustle of getting all the girls to airports and switching cars after Dad's funeral, my second set of car keys had been lost. But how sad can you be when you're listening to "Shish boom bah! Rah, Rah, Rah" sung in full harmony by males who were in their prime 40 years ago?

Since we were going to the temple tonight, I was very concerned that my heart not be polluted with things like anger and self pity—so I turned the music up louder, marched faster, and made it home in record time trusting that some miracle would happen.

“I got home. Josh wasn't there, but someone had left the back door unlocked! Miracle number one—accompanied by "Fun, Fun, Fun Till Daddy took the T bird Away."

“I found a Honda key in a drawer. Prayed it was to my car. And walked out just as our neighbor was backing out of his driveway. (Miracle number 2 accompanied to "The Girls on the Beach.”) I begged a ride, and out of politeness took the ear phones out of my ears. He took me to my car, waited while I found out the key was to Carl's Honda not mine, and then drove me back home.

“As soon as he left, I put the earphones on again. "Let Him Run Wild" was playing. Still calm and collected and surfing mentally, I called the car dealership where I bought my car and asked if they had any suggestions about getting into it. Miracle number three was accompanied by "Don't Worry Baby." It seems that they offer free roadside assistance to their customers. They would have their Knight in Shining Tow Truck there in 15 minutes to open my door.

“That gave me just enough time to walk back to the car—accompanied by the rousing tempos of "Help Me, Rhonda" and "All Summer Long." When I arrived, I discovered the Knight was late and the door wasn't yet open so what could I do but go into the nearest clothing store and shop to the music of "I Get Around." It was their clearance sale and I found a sweater, a pair of pants and a shirt all for less than fifty dollars! By the time I'd made my purchase the car door was open. I drove home, my heart pure and clean of any negative emotion thanks to the gift of portable music my family had given me.

P.S. The temple session was wonderful.

Truth Tool - Music

Music is a powerful Truth Tool, but when I first bring it up as a Tool most people think only about listening to music. Granted, that does work. Listening to music soothes the soul and can change moods. But there are other ways to use the Truth Tool of music.

When our children were growing up we had a rule that might surprise you. Rule: You can fight and quarrel all you want as log as you sing it.

It was amazing for more than one reason. First of all when they began to quarrel I didn't need to enter the fracas by being referee. Instead all I'd do  is say, "Sing it girls." Second, it only takes a moment to discover that when a person sings their angry thoughts they end up laughing. It works every time. You can't stay angry and sing.

But there are other ways this Tool works. Let's say you go out in the morning to leave for work, you are running late and in a hurry, but your car won't start. You have a dead battery. The vexing feelings begin to rise in you and at that point instead of swearing, you sing your negative thoughts. And, yes, you begin to laugh. Once you are calmed down and laughing your mind clears and you begin to solve the problem without the vexing, negative emotions causing you Unnecessary Pain.

I'll talk tomorrow about the listening part of this Truth Tool, but for now, sing your way through your day and watch what happens.

Truth Tool - Rewriting

The Truth Tool Rewriting grows out of and works with the Truth Tool Questioning. Yesterday we used the example of a woman "snubbing" you. Whenever things like that happen we begin to tell ourselves stories to give meaning to the encounter.

When we realize that this is what we are doing, we also realize that since we are the author of the story we have complete power to change the story. We can make it into anything we want, so why not make it positive?

Truth Tools - Questioning

One of the funnest of the Truth Tools for me is Questioning. The reason I say it is fun is because I end up laughing every time I use it.

This Tool is easy to use. When the Should Sharks start to swarm around you and the vexing thoughts begin to bite you simply ask, "Is that true?"

For example, you see an old friend and are excited to greet her, but as you do she barely acknowledges you. You feel hurt and the Should Sharks begin to bite with vexing thoughts such as, "She thinks she's so much better than me since they moved into that fancy new home." or "She shouldn't be so arrogant. She should be more friendly." As the thought enter your mind you apply the Tool Questioning and ask, "Is that true?"

The obvious answer is "No!" You have no way of knowing why she "snubbed" you or even if she actually did. Maybe she's starting to suffer from Alzheimer's and didn't recognize you. Maybe she just got some terrible bad news and is preoccupied. Maybe her husband just left her and she's embarrassed and doesn't want to talk to anyone. There could be a thousand reasons why she didn't react to you the way you thought she should and most of them are very good reasons that have nothing to do with you or her humility or lack of.

The reason I laugh? Because once I've asked the question, "Is it true?" The answer makes me realize how absolutely absurd I have been and I find myself chuckling at myself.

Suffering

While I've been sick I've had a lot of time to think. There wasn't much else I could do. And one of the things my mind kept returning to is the idea of Should Sharks. At first I could feel them swimming about in my head waiting to bite, but happily I kept them at bay. Something I haven't been able to always do in the past and to see my own progress made me happy. It takes time to learn to use the Truth Tools and to make them work for us, so I'm celebrating the victory.

But there was something more. One of the most insidious things Should Sharks inflict upon us is when our desires are righteous. In those times the Should Sharks often bite and bite hard. But as I lay in my bed thinking about all the prophets and about Jesus Christ I was amazed at how everyone of them could have been completely eaten alive by Should Sharks, but one of the marks of a prophet and the Savior is they never let Should Sharks bite even when the most righteous intentions go wrong.

Those who never marry, those who wish with all their hearts for children but can't conceive, those trying valiantly to raise righteous children who won't listen, those doing all in their power to preserve a faltering marriage will experience swarms of Should Sharks. After all, we should be able to marry, to have children, to raise righteous children, to make our marriages work, shouldn't we? BUT, and this is a very big BUT, we live in a telestial world and there are no guarantees in a telestial world.

For some reason suffering is necessary in a telestial world and the lives of prophets and the Savior testify to that. Joseph and Emma shouldn't have lost five of their children. Friends shouldn't have betrayed Joseph. Joseph shouldn't have been killed by mobs, and we could go on and on about the Should Sharks in Joseph's life and every single other prophet.More than that, Jesus Christ shouldn't have been betrayed by one of His disciples. His friends shouldn't have fallen asleep when he asked them to wait for Him in the garden. And especially, Jesus Christ shouldn't have had to suffer for my sins.

The big danger with these kinds of Should Sharks is that along with the vexing thought that what is happening shouldn't be happening, we usually begin to feel unworthy, unloved, and forgotten by God. But the simple fact that we have been called upon to suffer for very righteous reasons has absolutely no bearing upon how much God loves us. God loves the childless, the unmarried, the struggling parent, the hurting spouse and that love should never be doubted. The fact that we suffer is not an indication of God's love. Instead we should remember that we are loved and that our suffering puts us in the same category as all the saints, prophets, and although not nearly to the same degree, it makes us more like Jesus Christ.

Change Your Focus

Distraction is my mother's favorite Truth Tool to use. (Did I tell you she fell last week and broke her sternum and had to have five stitches in her hand. She had barely gotten back to normal from when she fell last year and broke eleven ribs and her clavicle!) She is a trooper! She is 86 years old and is spry and feisty. She is amazing. I just hope to be as courageous and valiant as she is when I get her age--if I do.

While distraction can be a great Truth Tool there are two cautions. Distraction can be a problem at times like when you are driving a car. The other problem is that when using it we need to be sure we aren't avoiding a problem. The way to tell is that distraction is momentary--a way to clear your mind so you can deal with whatever is vexing you. Avoidance is seeking after pleasure in order to avoid the problem completely.

When using distraction to combat vexation you pay close attention to vexation and as soon as you feel it instead of dwelling on it and making things worse, you change your focus from the thing that is distressing you to something else. You do something that takes your mind off the vexation,but as soon as you've relaxed you go back to the problem and solve it. Go read a book, take a walk, call a friend, write a letter, do whatever you LIKE that will keep your mind off what is vexing you.

It is surprising that often even fifteen or thirty minutes of distraction can give you a new perspective, and make you feel better.

Truth Tool - Good Courage

When Moses left the Children of Israel and Joshua became the new leader, the Lord gave Joshua a charge:

“Have not I commanded thee? 

Be strong and of a good courage; 

be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: 

for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest” 

(Joshua 1:9). 

I love this charge, which the Lord later gave to all the House of Israel, and since I am part of the House of Israel, I consider it my charge also.

But one day while I was contemplating this verse some things jumped out at me and hitting me over the head as if saying, “Look!” The first of thing that struck me was that this is not simply good advice, it is a commandment from the Lord. It is a command to not fear, and to not get discouraged. But even the command not to be fearful seemed strange. To me having courage meant to be brave and so did not being afraid. Why the redundancy? And why did the Lord find it necessary to define courage with the adjective good? Is there such a thing as bad courage?

It took me awhile, but I finally discovered that at the time the King James translators were translating the Bible the word courage meant “feelings and passions of the heart” and not bravery. Thus any emotion was courage, and so the Lord is charging Joshua (and us) to only have good feelings in our hearts.

But that presents a big problem. How can we go through our days with the media, other people saying and doing things and only let the good feelings into our hearts? Don’t bad feelings sometimes overpower us? The answer to that is in the last sentence. The reason we can do it is because the Lord is with us where ever we go or whatever we do. Despite the bad and evil in the world, we can cast it all away because we know there is a Savior who will eventually heal this world and all the righteous in it.

Understanding this charge to only let good feelings into your heart is a powerful Truth Tool. It can be used in time of vexation by simply repeating the words, or as a preventative Tool to recite every day in order to avoid vexation. I have rewritten the charge in modern English and put my own name in it. I have it laminated and carry it around in my wallet where I can refer to it any time vexation starts to overwhelm me. I also have it on a mirror that I see every morning. I have found that there is a power I can literally feel envelop me every time I simply recite the words out loud.

A Little More Affirmation

It is obvious how the Truth Tools help us drop the Unnecessary Pain in our lives. The Tools change how we think, and thus we let go of the thought that is causing us Pain and move on. But the Truth Tools are also very effective for helping us deal with Necessary Pain.

For example, yesterday we talked about the Truth Tool Affirmation and how it helps us both avoid and rid ourselves of Unnecessary Pain. But Affirmation also strengthens and encourages us so that we can pass through the Necessary Pain of life valiantly.

When dealing with Necessary Pain the power comes not from Affirming your own strength, but from Affirming the strength of God. Paul said it best, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13). Other Affirmations that help us endure the Necessary Pain of life are: "I have a Savior who strengthens me," "Yoked with the Savior I can endure anything." Again, just saying these words with conviction strengthens and empowers.

There are many ways to word Affirmations, but the important thing is to acknowledge that there is a strength beyond our own supporting and helping us. That is the most powerful Affirmation there is.