I'm Learning

Yesterday I had one of those interesting moments when Living in Truth saved me. Our ward is doing a Passover Seder this coming Saturday to help us prepare for Easter. While the Passover is traditionally a Jewish festival, God commanded the people to observe it in the book of Exodus which is part of our Old Testament. So to help our ward members understand the significance and why we as Christians are doing it, the bishopric asked me to speak about it in Sacrament meeting. They told me that there would only be two speakers, me and the high councilman so to plan on 20 to 25 minutes. So I did.

Well, I got to the meeting and they had added a speaker. And to make a long story short, I left the high councilman very little time which I feel very bad about. I cut a lot of my talk out, but it wasn't enough. I apologized profusely to the high councilman, but what was done was done. I really did feel bad about it.

Then as I was leaving Church a woman stopped me and said, "I really wanted to hear that high councilman speak today, and then when you went on and on and on." I wasn't sure how to respond to that except to say, "I'm sorry." She had poured salt into an open wound. But could I fix it? No. But I could learn from it.

I pulled out the Truth Tool humor and laughed at myself. I was in the wrong. There was nothing I could do to change it. Other people had noticed and wished I hadn't gone over time. Could I change that? No. So, I had to cry or laugh, and I choose to laugh. What can I say? I make mistakes. I hope I've learned from this one. And I should be thankful this good sister helped me learn my lesson. Bless her little heart!

Truth Tool - Humor

Concerning life, many people have said something similar to this: "You can laugh or you can cry, but laughing is a lot more fun." I agree, and that is why humor is a powerful Truth Tool.

You've all also heard that laughter is medicine for the soul. There are many reasons for that. First of all,  many of us take ourselves far too seriously, but by learning to laugh at ourselves we open up whole new areas of healthy, pain free living. We can do this in many ways. One thing that works for me is to use my over-stimulated imagination and when I start to worry or have other negative feelings about myself I exaggerate the things I’m worrying about to the extreme until suddenly I’m laughing at the preposterousness of what I’m thinking.

I’m embarrassed to admit it now, but years ago whenever my husband came home late, I’d find myself thinking, “Oh no! He’s been in an accident!” And I’d have the funeral planned, and sometimes even got to the point I was in tears as I pondered how I was going to support the children all by myself. But I’ve learned that when I start thinking “accident” to change to a funny story like Mr. J decided to stop and hike to the top the mountain and then I imagine him in his shirt and tie, trying to hike. I let my imagination go all out. He’s taking along his briefcase and laptop and fighting the brush back with it held in front of him like a shield. His face is full of determination and when he gets to the top of the mountain, he rips open his shirt to reveal a big “S” for Superman. Besides keeping me feeling good, when I do this my husband arrives home to a cheerful wife instead of a morose one.

Someone told me that you’re going to laugh about most of the situations of life when you look back on them, so why not laugh now. Learning to see the humor in the situations, even the mistakes we make, instead of beating ourselves up over things, is a powerful Truth Tool.

And if you are careful and avoid sarcasm, Humor can be used to change tense situations. I’ve told this story before but it is worth repeating. One day Mr. J came home from work so grouchy that everyone avoided him. He went in his office and we all went into the kitchen to get dinner. As D3 was setting the table I noticed that she put a large cereal bowl of sugar at her dad’s place. I waited to see what was going on. Finally dinner was ready and we called Mr. J in to eat. As he approached his place and saw the bowl of sugar, he stopped and growled, “What’s this?”

D3 timidly spoke up, “We thought if you ate that you’d be a lot sweeter.” He started to laugh, all the stress left him, and he returned to his cheerful self.

Humor, can be biting and sarcastic and hurtful, but when used correctly it can be a powerful Tool to help us stay firmly grounded in the Realm of Truth.

Truth Tools - Questioning

One of the funnest of the Truth Tools for me is Questioning. The reason I say it is fun is because I end up laughing every time I use it.

This Tool is easy to use. When the Should Sharks start to swarm around you and the vexing thoughts begin to bite you simply ask, "Is that true?"

For example, you see an old friend and are excited to greet her, but as you do she barely acknowledges you. You feel hurt and the Should Sharks begin to bite with vexing thoughts such as, "She thinks she's so much better than me since they moved into that fancy new home." or "She shouldn't be so arrogant. She should be more friendly." As the thought enter your mind you apply the Tool Questioning and ask, "Is that true?"

The obvious answer is "No!" You have no way of knowing why she "snubbed" you or even if she actually did. Maybe she's starting to suffer from Alzheimer's and didn't recognize you. Maybe she just got some terrible bad news and is preoccupied. Maybe her husband just left her and she's embarrassed and doesn't want to talk to anyone. There could be a thousand reasons why she didn't react to you the way you thought she should and most of them are very good reasons that have nothing to do with you or her humility or lack of.

The reason I laugh? Because once I've asked the question, "Is it true?" The answer makes me realize how absolutely absurd I have been and I find myself chuckling at myself.

Truth Tool - Humor

Laughter is medicine for the soul. Too many of us take ourselves far too seriously, but by learning to laugh at ourselves we open up whole new areas of healthy living. We can do this in many ways. One thing that works for me is to use my over-stimulated imagination and when I start to worry or have other negative feelings I exaggerate the things I’m worrying about to the extreme until suddenly I’m laughing at the preposterousness of what I’m thinking.

I’m embarrassed to admit it now, but years ago whenever my husband came home late, I’d find myself thinking, “Oh no! He’s been in an accident!” And I’d have the funeral planned, and sometimes even got to the point I was in tears as I pondered how I was going to support the children all by myself. But I’ve learned that when I start thinking “accident” to change to a funny story like Mr. J decided to stop and hike to the top the mountain and then I imagine him in his shirt and tie, trying to hike. I let my imagination go all out. He’s taking along his briefcase and laptop and fighting the brush back with it held in front of him like a shield. His face is full of determination and when he gets to the top of the mountain, he rips open his shirt to reveal a big “S” for Superman. Besides keeping me feeling good, when I do this my husband arrives home to a cheerful wife instead of a morose one.

Someone one told me that you’re going to laugh about most of the situations of life when you look back on them, so why not laugh now. Learning to see the humor in the situations, even the mistakes we make, instead of beating ourselves up over things, is a powerful Truth Tool.

And if you are careful and avoid sarcasm, Humor can be used to change tense situations. I’ve told this story before but it is worth repeating. One day Mr. J came home from work so grouchy that everyone avoided him. He went in his office and we all went into the kitchen to get dinner. As D3 was setting the table I noticed that she put a large cereal bowl of sugar at her dad’s place. I waited to see what was going on. Finally dinner was ready and we called Mr. J in to eat. As he approached his place he stopped and growled, “What’s this?”

D3 timidly spoke up, “We thought if you ate that you’d be a lot sweeter.” He started to laugh, all the stress left him, and he returned to his cheerful self.

Humor, can be biting and sarcastic and hurtful, but when used correctly it can be a powerful Tool to help us stay firmly grounded in the Realm of Truth.

My Medicine

Last night my grandson, Eli, came to visit while his parents went to a meeting. I’ve been so very fatigued all week and barely able to function that I’ve found myself constantly reaching for a Truth Tool to help lift and sustain me.

When Eli came I went out on the patio and rested while I watched and listened to him and his Pops play Indiana Jones. The first thing Eli wants when he comes here is his Jones hat. My husband has two such hats and he dons one and Eli wears the other. Once the hats were on the imagining started and there were snake hunts, wrestling with the bad guys, tiptoeing through spider infestations, and every other peril you can think of. But with Eli peril is never a negative experience. It is a wondrous adventure where laughter prevails and delight rules.

I have never in my life had such wonderful medicine! Eli’s laughter was infectious and I can’t even count how many times I laughed right out loud just from hearing him laugh. I smiled for hours as I watched him and was startled by the healing and strengthening power it brought me. If it weren’t for their unpredictability, I’d say the best thing we could do for cancer patients in a cancer ward is let five year olds run loose! It was the best I’ve felt all week. When he was exhausted, we made s'mores over the fire, then cuddled up on the lounge to watch the stars and he fell asleep beside me. It was the perfect evening!

To be honest, the power of his laughter has surprised me. I can still feel it working its healing magic inside of me. If you are hurting, go where there are children and listen to them laugh. A child’s laughter is medicine to the soul.

Have a Good Laugh on Me!

Anyone need a good laugh to cheer up their day? Well, I'm here to give it to you. I have a couple more pictures to share with you of the treatments. The first day we took pictures I forgot to take a picture of the after effect of my cage. Enjoy and keep chuckling all day. Laughter is incredible medicine for the spirit!

Me in the cage.


Me out of the cage.

This is what I looked like for about two hours after each radiation session. No wonder everyone stared at me! I look like I'm made of fish scales.

Laugh And the World Laughs

I’ve been thinking a lot about the power of humor again. It really is amazing how a good laugh can not only dispel negative feelings and thoughts, but can literally melt away tense situations.
Many years ago my father served as mayor of a small town, Centerville, Utah, during the time it was changing from rural to suburban. One night he was conducting a town meeting to discuss the need to put curb and gutter along Main Street. Several of the farmers who had land on Main Street were very upset about the cost of this project. As the meeting went on many of them grew angry and were very vocal about their feelings. Finally in a rage one old farmer stood and yelled at my father, “Mayor Mills, you can go to hell!”
The city lawyer, Keith Stahle, was sitting next to my father and without missing a beat he said loud and clear, “Mayor Mills, I’ve researched the books, and you don’t need to go unless you want to.”
At those words the entire room broke out in laughter and the mood changed so that a positive discussion could take place. When used in the right way, humor can be powerful. Humor can change a mood. It can change an attitude. It can change dark, negative thoughts into bright, cheerful ones.
If you have stories like the one about my dad in which humor changed you or others, leave a comment and tell us about it.

Powered By Laughter

The other day I had one of the first busy days I’ve had since my surgery. Three months ago, I used to breeze through these kinds of days. But after months of lazy recuperation, I found myself stressed over all I had to do that day, and added to that was the stress as I looked around and realized how far behind in household chores I’d gotten because I hadn’t had the strength to keep up with everything. Thoughts like “I’m never going to get all this done. No matter how hard I try, I can’t do all this. I’m so behind all ready. Things have piled up until it’s impossible. I’m going to end up in the hospital again.” At the hospital thought, I realized what I was doing. It wasn’t the tasks that were causing me pain, it was my thoughts about the tasks. I had to get rid of the thoughts.

So I went back over every thought I’d had and exaggerated it. I purposely made myself see it in my head as absurd. I played each new thought out like a movie. I saw myself frantically running from one task to the next like a chicken with its head cut off—and I mean that literally, my head was cut off so that I bumped into things I should have seen and toppled over things in my way. I saw myself sinking in the clutter of my office like a hunter sinking in quick sand. Inch by inch I slowly disappeared until all that could be seen of me was my index finger wagging frantically for help. I saw myself being rushed to the hospital in a florescent orange ambulance, me in a full body cast, and when we arrived the ambulance driver announced to the doctor (who looked a lot like Jack Black in a mustache and beard) that he had to restrain me because I was battling self-inflicted -clutter-traumatization.

I don’t have to tell you that by that time I was laughing so hard I couldn’t be upset. With the negative emotions out of the way, I tackled the tasks at hand with no pain. Humor is a powerful tool. It works especially well when we are stressing over something bad we think is going to happen. Just exaggerate the dire consequences until they become absurd. Give the image as much ridiculous detail as possible. Laugh at the “movie” you’ve created until the negative feelings are dispelled. Then, on the wings of that laughter, do what needs to be done. Laughter empowers every time!