Get Set--Go!

It has been a crazy and fast paced summer around here. Last night as Mr. J and I sat down to dinner we realized that it was the first time in 2 and ½ months that we had eaten dinner alone in our own home. We’ve either had company or were away from home during that time. It felt so nice, but today as I’m now starting to feel better all the things I’ve let slip for the past few months are jumping out at me and hitting me over the head. Wow, am I behind. My to-do list is longer than the paper I always use to make to-do lists on! It’s times like this that stress begins to push me into the Pit of Illusion. It tightens in the chest and makes all kinds of obnoxious noises in my head. “You’ll never get all this done!” it laughs a deep, delighted-to-see-you-fail chuckle that could sink a battleship in deep water.

But, the Truth Tools work. And I’m armed for battle. I’ve got a box full of tools and as every negative feeling of gloom and doom arises, I pull out a tool and go to work on it. My favorite Tool today is affirming to myself, “It just doesn’t get better than this!” and making the challenge of this to-do list into a game.I can do it!

I’m on my mark. I’m set. I’m going!!!!

Gifts For A Bad Day

Last night just over Cascade Mountain I saw the most beautiful rainbow I’ve ever seen. It made a full 180 degree arch and in front of it was a paler replica—a double rainbow! Besides being a full rainbow that arched from earth up and around and back down to touch the earth again, this rainbow had a full spectrum of bright colors blending from one to the other—seven of them! It was amazing.

It was also an incredible gift before a day when everything has gone wrong. You’ve all had those days—a $600 unexpected car repair job, my computer wouldn’t work and I spent all day talking with computer support people trying to get it fixed when I should have been working on the seven lectures I need to have ready for Education Week next week. I have a houseful of company coming Monday to stay for education week, and my husband’s office party is here tomorrow night.

BUT. . .all day long as I’d start to feel stressed, I’d think about that beautiful rainbow and be grateful I’d seen it. I’d close my eyes and see it again. The computer still isn’t fixed. The house isn’t ready for the party or guests, but I’ve got a rainbow in my head and I’m feeling good. I wish I'd learned not to stress about things like this years ago. It never did any good.And besides that my stressing caused me to miss something important. It absolutely amazes me how the Lord takes care of us—even before we know there is something that needs to be taken care of!

A New Tool--Distraction

As soon as we finished the radiologist appointment on Friday we went to St George for a funeral. A very good friend (whom I can’t thank enough) let us use her home in St George so we stayed over the weekend. It was a much needed get-away. The past week drained us both physically and emotionally. The trip gave us time to think—time to regroup and relax, time to get energized and meditate and pray to be ready for whatever is in front of us.

During this time I noticed several things that happened. First, on the trip down just observing the beauty of this wonderful world was rejuvenating. It invigorated and kept me positive. Turning my thoughts from me to the world filled me with gratitude and wonder. Certainly if God can create and run this amazing world, He can take care of me! Another thing that I noticed was that a change in environment helped me forget about myself and my problems. I didn’t realize how much things around my own house remind me of the predicament I’m in, but in a different house with no associations, I forgot all about my problems and relaxed and enjoyed. The third thing I realized is that of all the tools we’ve talked about for helping us Live in Truth I’ve never realized how much of a tool a simple thing like distraction can be. Distraction gives us a little distance, which gives us a new perspective. Whether we take a walk, a trip, read a book, watch a good movie sometimes all we need is a little distraction to help us keep positive and walk in Light and Truth.

So add Distraction to the tools. Take a break from your problems and come back to them with new perspective!

Laugh And the World Laughs

I’ve been thinking a lot about the power of humor again. It really is amazing how a good laugh can not only dispel negative feelings and thoughts, but can literally melt away tense situations.
Many years ago my father served as mayor of a small town, Centerville, Utah, during the time it was changing from rural to suburban. One night he was conducting a town meeting to discuss the need to put curb and gutter along Main Street. Several of the farmers who had land on Main Street were very upset about the cost of this project. As the meeting went on many of them grew angry and were very vocal about their feelings. Finally in a rage one old farmer stood and yelled at my father, “Mayor Mills, you can go to hell!”
The city lawyer, Keith Stahle, was sitting next to my father and without missing a beat he said loud and clear, “Mayor Mills, I’ve researched the books, and you don’t need to go unless you want to.”
At those words the entire room broke out in laughter and the mood changed so that a positive discussion could take place. When used in the right way, humor can be powerful. Humor can change a mood. It can change an attitude. It can change dark, negative thoughts into bright, cheerful ones.
If you have stories like the one about my dad in which humor changed you or others, leave a comment and tell us about it.

When It Snows . . .

We are working at warp speed here in Utah. Saturday was a beautiful spring day and Sunday it was winter. We received four inches of snow! I wonder what season it will be tomorrow!

It made me think of one of my favorite verses of scripture. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” This verse helps me realize that God is in charge. Nothing happens by coincidence or especially by accident. Therefore when it snows on our lives, instead of being upset, we can know that it is the season for snow. We can step back and say, “There is a purpose for this snow in my life right now. What am I supposed to be learning?” Instead of thinking, this isn’t supposed to be happening right now. We can think, if God sent snow right now. It is supposed to be. There is a reason.

Once we accept truth, we are then in a frame of mind to be tutored and taught by the Spirit. But more than that, we are in the right frame of mind to be guided and directed. Instead of burying our heads under the electric blanket and crying about the snow, we can build a snowman, or an igloo, or some muscle shoveling it off the driveway. There can be great joy in snow. You just need to choose it.

Blessed By The Now

For as long as I can remember I’ve gotten my best ideas or solutions to problems while in the shower. I never realized until recently why that happened, but after learning to Anchor myself in the present moment I realized that when I am in the shower I am always anchored.

I love water. I love to swim. I love to feel warm water running over my hands from the faucet. I love walking in the rain. I love standing in the shower and feeling the water hit my back. I love the sound of it hitting the tile and shower door. I love putting my face in the stream of water and feeling the warmth. In short, what I realized is that I love the shower so much that while I am in there I am always in the present—feeling, hearing, tasting, smelling, and watching it all happen. Without realizing what I was doing, I was very much Anchored every time I entered the shower and in that state I was receptive to promptings, guidance, and insights that are always available in the present.

Besides that, there is always joy and happiness in the present moment. All we need to do is Anchor ourselves and let it seep in.

When I'm Helping, I'm Happy

Another of the principles of the gospel that is important in helping us jettison the unnecessary pain in our lives is service. It can also help us through the necessary pain. Many years ago an article appeared in the Church News about a woman in a nursing home who was suffering from cancer. The woman, in her 80s, lived in constant debilitating pain despite the medication she was on. A ward Relief Society leader brought her two dolls to fix up so they could be given to needy children for Christmas. When the Relief Society leader returned the dolls were ready and, in addition, the woman had made 11 baby quilts to be given to the poor. Subsequently seven more dolls were taken to the woman who made beautiful bonnets, dresses and coats for six of them before she died.

After her death her family found her diary and read the following entry, “3 a.m., couldn’t sleep, the pain was intense. Decided to work on the dolls, and the pain went away.” The following pages were filled with the same report, “Decided to work on the dolls and the pain went away.” (Church News, April 21, 1985, p. 16.)

As King Benjamin so aptly put it, “When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17). And when you are serving God, you forget about yourself and open yourself up to the gifts and joys He is trying to give you.

Forget the Pain

We’ve been talking about tools or strategies to rid our lives of unnecessary pain. So far we’ve talked about things like music and humor and affirmative thinking. But some of the most powerful tools at our disposal are gospel principles. For example, the principle of forgiveness is absolutely liberating when we learn to use it on a daily basis.

The Greek word used in the New Testament for forgive, is aphiemi which means “to send forth, yield up, to expire. “ Another definition is “To let go, let alone.” When we forgive, obviously we are yielding up thoughts of the offense or situation that we feel shouldn’t have happened, but we are also yielding up the hurt we have been holding onto because of the situation. Every time we think or tell our story of the offense we re-inflict ourselves with pain and usually the pain gets worse with every telling.

The adversary deludes us into thinking that somehow we deserve to cling to our negative story. Somehow we think vengeance will come from holding on to the unjust situation. But clinging to the injustice and refusing to forgive never hurts the other person. They don’t feel the pain. We are the only one that is in pain and we are doing it to ourselves.

The Savior counseled us, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matt 6:14-15). Forgiving is one of the best ways to free ourselves from the pain caused by negative storytelling. So forgive. Forget. And be free.

Powered By Laughter

The other day I had one of the first busy days I’ve had since my surgery. Three months ago, I used to breeze through these kinds of days. But after months of lazy recuperation, I found myself stressed over all I had to do that day, and added to that was the stress as I looked around and realized how far behind in household chores I’d gotten because I hadn’t had the strength to keep up with everything. Thoughts like “I’m never going to get all this done. No matter how hard I try, I can’t do all this. I’m so behind all ready. Things have piled up until it’s impossible. I’m going to end up in the hospital again.” At the hospital thought, I realized what I was doing. It wasn’t the tasks that were causing me pain, it was my thoughts about the tasks. I had to get rid of the thoughts.

So I went back over every thought I’d had and exaggerated it. I purposely made myself see it in my head as absurd. I played each new thought out like a movie. I saw myself frantically running from one task to the next like a chicken with its head cut off—and I mean that literally, my head was cut off so that I bumped into things I should have seen and toppled over things in my way. I saw myself sinking in the clutter of my office like a hunter sinking in quick sand. Inch by inch I slowly disappeared until all that could be seen of me was my index finger wagging frantically for help. I saw myself being rushed to the hospital in a florescent orange ambulance, me in a full body cast, and when we arrived the ambulance driver announced to the doctor (who looked a lot like Jack Black in a mustache and beard) that he had to restrain me because I was battling self-inflicted -clutter-traumatization.

I don’t have to tell you that by that time I was laughing so hard I couldn’t be upset. With the negative emotions out of the way, I tackled the tasks at hand with no pain. Humor is a powerful tool. It works especially well when we are stressing over something bad we think is going to happen. Just exaggerate the dire consequences until they become absurd. Give the image as much ridiculous detail as possible. Laugh at the “movie” you’ve created until the negative feelings are dispelled. Then, on the wings of that laughter, do what needs to be done. Laughter empowers every time!