The Vexing Truth

Vexation is a poison we inflict upon ourselves!

Two days ago I wrote about the beginning of school and the student who is teaching me lessons in Living in Truth. SuSu left a wonderful question. She said, "So not to encourage your vexation over said student; but do you ever just hope they drop your class since they bring their negative force into the room? Just wondering."

The simple answer to that is "Yes!" It would be nice. But the Truth is he hasn't dropped the class. What SuSu is getting at, however, is the question of whether hoping he goes away is Living in Truth or not. The answer to that brings up some very important nuances to what it means to Live in Truth.

First of all, thoughts of any kind sometimes pop into our heads uninvited. It isn't the thought itself that sends us into the Pit of Illusion. It is what we do with the thought. We can throw the thought out or we can swell on it. It is is a negative thought it will vex us. If the thought vexes us we need to ask, "Is this the truth?" In the case of my student, the simple truth is that he is bringing a negative influence into the classroom. The second question to ask is, "Can I fix it or do I need to live with it?"

In this case there are some options to fix the problem. Technically I could ask him to leave the class, but I don't think that is the right thing to do. I could say something very sarcastic to "put him in his place." But again that is not a good way to handle it. There are several other negative things I could do, but none of them seem right to me. But I can hope that on his own he decides to change classes as long as my hoping is a simple desire and doesn't  turn into fretting and or vexing. If the though crosses the line from being a simple desire and becomes a vexation that is creating vexing feelings, then I am in the Pit of Illusion.

Since the young man hasn't dropped the class my choice in this situation is to live with it and the way to live with it without vexing is to learn to love it. So I am working on thinking up all the possible ways I can to help him and to see him as God sees him. Yes, it takes effort, but the effort is worth it! It will keep me out of the Pit--a place I hate.

There's Help!

When the Lord explains to the Brother of Jared that he needs to build barges and cross the waters to reach the Promised Land he also tells him that "ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea" (Ether 2:25). When we look at Jared and his brother's journey through the wilderness as a metaphor of our own journey through the wilderness of telestial life, we realize that we, likewise, cannot make the journey unless the Lord prepares us to withstand the adversity we will encounter.

Taking the metaphor one step further, we realize that we can't Live in Truth without the Lord's help. He will guide us to recognize Truth, to identify and stick to the verity (the Truth) of any situation, and to understand how to deal with the Truth. We can't do it alone and if we are trying to do it alone, we will fail.

God wants us to succeed. He wants us to make the journey through life and reach our Promised Land, the celestial kingdom. And, most importantly, He will help us daily to Live in Truth if we turn to Him.

Crocheting and Life

Before my battle with Grizelda, I used to crochet a lot. I've made many, many afghans, and the rhythm of my hands as they hook a strand of yarn into a beautiful collage of stitches is extremely relaxing to me. But for some reason ever since Grizelda I haven't crocheted at all until last week when we went on retreat. I can't believe I forgot about how much of a stress release crocheting is.

One of the afghans I did long ago.

the afghans, I love the lessons crocheting teaches me. Crocheting (and a lot of other hand-work) is a lot like life. The afghans I make are a process. They start out as a raw product such as wool on a sheep's back. That wool has to be cut and then washed, carded, spun, and dyed into useable yarn. From that point I take a skein of "string" and using various stitches I hook the yarn in such a way that it becomes a covering that can warm and cuddle and service others. The pattern varies but if handmade even the same pattern will yield variances that give each afghan a beautiful individual identity. Likewise life is a process and if we are patient and submit to the""carding" and "washing" and "dying" and "hooking" and "tying" that are the process of life we become beautiful individuals capable of warming and nurturing others.

But one of the greatest lessons I've learned from crocheting is that if I make a mistake the only way to keep that afghan beautiful is to go back, undo the wrong stitch or stitches and then re-stitch as the pattern directs. It takes time. It's painful to unravel several rows in order to go back to the mistake. It's discouraging. But there is no other way. If you just keep adding rows to the mistake it becomes misshapen, or you have an ugly spot in the afghan that spoils the whole piece.

You already know where I'm going here. Fixing the mistakes in an afghan is like repentance. We can try to move on in life without repenting, but that mistake will affect everything that follows.

I once read that when people sin their emotional growth stops and that's why we find 60 year old people that haven't emotionally matured past 16. But when we repent we alleviate the mistakes of the past so that we can grow and move forward with the pattern of our lives and end up with a beautiful character. Each character will have distinguishing individual talents and abilities, but every one will be beautiful!

I am so happy to be crocheting again!

Learning Time

Look closely at this photo. The "Y" is made up of new students standing in the football stadium bleachers!

Today was my first day of school. BYU actually began their classes yesterday, but this semester I teach all four of my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I have Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to do research and other things. It will be nice.

First days are always exciting. Seeing all those young, beautiful faces out there and knowing that in a few weeks they will be my new friends energizes me. I love it.

But it is also fun as the semester wears on to see the personalities of the students come out. I have the most interesting, talented, and wonderful students. They constantly amaze me.

But once in a great while there is a student who amazes me in negative ways like one student today who kept rolling his eyes in obvious disagreement and questioning the things I said--and mostly what we did today was go over the expectations for the class. I already know he isn't going to like my class. And that makes me think about how many times I've gone into a situation where I could have learned so much, but my negative or prideful attitude kept me from learning and enjoying.

Mind you, I have over 220 students and that was the only one who was openly negative. But I learned something from him and I'm excited about the more positive things I'm going to learn from the other 219 students during the semester. I'm not sure who learns the most in my classes, the students or me!

Why Vex Over Why?

I was talking with someone just this morning and the question came up, "Why does life have to be like this?" I don't think there is anyone reading this who hasn't at some time or another thought that very question. But if there is one thing I have learned about the Good News! it is that God, for some reason, doesn't often answer the Why question. He usually answers the How, What, Where and When questions but seldom the Why questions especially in the case of specific Whys.

Acknowledging this has caused me to pause on several occasions when I've been consumed with wondering WHY, and has allowed me to drop the vexation of wondering by just saying to myself, "Oh, that's a Why question and God doesn't answer those."

Now I realize there are exceptions to this, but mostly it holds true and when I remember it I am able to move on and drop the vexation a lot faster and with more ease. I don't know why, God isn't going to tell me, and so why vex over it? There another Why question, but this one I can answer! There's no reason to vex.

Overcoming the Default "Position"

A few people in life are able to take what comes to them and love it without much effort. These are the people who were raised by parents who rolled with the ups and downs of life without vexing and so they learned how to do it by watching their parents. It comes naturally to them. But for most of us learning to Live in Truth takes continued effort because the default "position" in a telestial world is vexation. We experience stress and we become vexed. We think it is what has to happen.

But the Good News! is that when we realize that Living in Truth doesn't come naturally to us and that we need to work at it, we can do things that will constantly remind us and encourage us to drop the vexation and move on.

I have reminders all around me. Every morning when I look into the mirror I see "My Charge." On the back of my Ipad is engraved the words, "Take what comes, and love it." I have good words taped to the inside of my kitchen cabinets so that when I need or put away dishes I see them. I also have associated reminders to items in my home so  that when I see them I am reminded of what Living in Truth is all about. Daily scripture reading also reinforces my desire to Live in Truth.

In short, Living in Truth doesn't come naturally to most of us. But the little bit of effort it takes to Live in Truth is well worth it.

Changing the Stress Story

This has been the craziest, busiest summer I've ever had. In the last two months I've been in the province of British Columbia, Canada, and the states of South Carolina, Tennessee, California, Alaska, and Washington-with a few stop overs at home in Utah. I'm feeling dizzy, but I've loved every minute of it. I've met wonderful people and seen some beautiful country. The travel has renewed and refreshed me, but as you all know traveling has its frustrations and so it has given me some unusual experiences in which to use the Truth Tools and practice Living in Truth in ways I don't get in my normal routine.

It has reminded me that when under stress one of the best things we can do is change our story from "I don't like this," to "Wow, what an opportunity to grow and practice Living in Truth." It is amazing how a simple thing like changing the story we are telling ourselves makes such a big difference in our lives.