F + H + C = Miracles

I’ve had a lot of time to think about miracles lately. I’ve also said many a prayer expressing thanks for the miracles I’ve received. One of the things I’ve learned in this process is that faith is an essential principle for facilitating miracles, but not the only principle. Faith as an essential principle I already knew. As a matter of fact, it is the only principle I'd considered as part of a miracle. What I hadn’t realized is that there is more to miracles than faith. Two other essential principles that facilitate miracles are hope and charity or, as Mormon calls it, the pure love of Christ. (See Moroni 7:47.) Together, faith, hope, and charity ALWAYS facilitate miracles.

As I’ve been reading in the Book of Mormon it has confirmed this finding. In every instance when faith, hope, and charity exist miracles happen. That isn’t a coincidence!

Not By Bread Alone. . .

The word tribulation comes from the old Latin word for a threshing sled, which is tribulum. Many of us who have never witnessed a grain threshing, little realize what a violent process threshing is. Even, today with all our technical advances, farmers are injured or killed by getting caught in a threshing machine. Because this turbulent beating and thrashing process separates the grain from the straw and chaff, the word tribulum evolved into our English word tribulation and came to be known as “a severe trial or catastrophic event.”

The thing that has interested me in this word is that while threshing involved beating and violence, it also yielded a necessary product—grain. There was something good that came out of that threshing process-something the word tribulation fails to recognize. Grain is a basic staff of life! Without grain there would be no bread and without bread, I’d hate to think where I’d be. I love bread—any kind.

The etymology of the word tribulation also makes me remember God’s words to Adam: “In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread” (Gen 3:19). To me that means while in a mortal world it will be necessary to “sweat,” but if I endure the sweating wonderful things will come my way like hot bread right out of the oven.

Every Day Gets a Little Better!

Our twin haircuts the night before my surgery!

Things are still going well. As a matter of fact, I’m a wee bit glad to be stuck at home today. All that snow out there is fun to watch come down, but not fun to be out in and, even better, two of my daughters brought me lunch and visited awhile. I am getting up and around a lot more. I get tired easy, but all the other things they warned me about such as lethargy and memory loss have been much less than was anticipated. I am a very, very blessed woman or as the doctor keeps reminding me-a miracle woman.

There are some things I wasn’t warned about, however. One is that the hair around my scar is falling out in patches. I may need a new comb-over hair style when this is all over! But the doctor told me to use Rogaine for Women—another one of those things I never thought I’d be doing. I just hope it works! Somehow remaining bald isn’t appealing.

School started today and at the time I should have been entering the classroom and getting to know my students for this semester, I was watching snow fall. That part of the day left an ache in me, but the Lord is still watching over me, has blessed me immensely, and so I’m hanging on until further instructions! He’s in charge and that always ends up wonderful—after the trial of your faith! (See Ether 12:6.)

Thanks again for all your love, concern, and prayers. I can still feel them filling me like helium and making this ordeal much more bearable.

Let Go and Let God Lead!

Every day when I awake I find the scar looking better. My hair has grown a fraction of an inch. My strength is coming back. I’ve never looked at those kinds of things as miracles, but now I do. Think about it. I am doing nothing to make any of that happen! I just leave it to God and He makes it happen. Let your mind wander a little more and the majesty of the miracle is astounding. I am doing nothing to keep this world rotating or to hold it in its place in the vast universe. God does all that! I am doing nothing to breathe, and yet every moment I take in life’s breath. My heart keeps on beating without me doing anything to make it happen. Somehow the pinto bean salad I ate yesterday is being changed into nutrients which in turn become blood cells, skin, energy, hormones and everything else that is needed to help heal my wounds and fuel my body. Amazing!

One of the reasons I think this amazes me so much is that I was raised in a very goal oriented family. My father read all the self-help books about setting goals and then left them on my bed for me to read. My mother wasn’t into the reading, but I’ve never met such a task oriented person in my life. If you took away her to-do list, I’m sure she’d curl up and die. There was a valuable work ethic for me in this environment that I am very grateful for, but what I am learning now is that I’m not in charge. Just as God keeps my body going, and the earth rotating, He’ll guide me to the things I need to do. He knows why He sent me here. I can see now that much of my goal setting and striving has been counterproductive.

God sent me here to earth for a purpose. To discover that purpose I need to ask myself, “What am I here to give?” and then give it. When I do that I tap into the spiritual and open myself to all kinds of possibility and happiness. If I get caught up in “What am I here to get?” I trap myself in the confining boundaries of the ego, and I wander in unhappiness.

I just wish I’d learned this earlier. I wish I had done a better job of teaching my children this. Life isn’t about grades or which schools you can get into or what scholarships you earn or what type clothes you wear or even what you achieve. Life is about discovering what you have to give and then doing everything you can to make the world a better place by giving what only you can give.

But I’ve got to repent. There is nothing I can do about the past. Wishing won’t help at all. Instead I must move on and trust that God will teach them what I failed to teach them. But then, my children are wonderful. They’ve probably already learned it!

Jesus is the Christ

I really appreciate the comments you have been leaving. I like the scriptures and words of the prophets you have added. And several of you have been very kind in attributing strength to me. But I can’t take the credit nor can I let anyone think that this is all about me. I have a multitude of faults and shortcomings. Too many to catalog here! It isn’t me that is strong or wonderful. It is the gospel of Jesus Christ that gives strength and is wonderful. This isn’t about me. This is about Jesus Christ—the source, the strength, the power. Anyone and everyone who keeps their eyes on Him and trusts in Him will triumph.

As Lehi begins his parting advice to his son Jacob, he says two things that are very applicable here. First he tells Jacob that the Savior will consecrate all Jacob’s afflictions for his gain. Jacob was a very good man, but it was the Savior, not Jacob, who turned all those afflictions into blessings. (See 2 Nephi 2:2). The second thing Lehi told Jacob is that he knew Jacob would be saved, “because of the righteousness of thy Redeemer” (2 Nephi 2:3). Again, Jacob was a good man, but redemption comes through the grace of Jesus Christ not because we do anything spectacular.

Every single one of us struggles with afflictions, faults, temptations, and mistakes. But every single one of us can be redeemed because of the righteousness of our Redeemer. He is Wonderful. He is my Strength. He is Life and Love. He is Light and Truth and the Way. Don’t give me any credit. It is Jesus Christ we all need to thank.

Hurrah for Change!

As I explained in my last post when I first found out about Grizelda I wasn’t afraid, but I was very sad and at the same time filled with a paradoxical sense of excitement. Even though I kept hanging on to hope, from the beginning I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to teach this coming semester and I love teaching. I love being with my students. I love learning from them. I love the university environment and the faculty I work with. I love the woman I share an office with and my TA… well you get the picture. I didn’t want any of that to change and as I explained my situation that first couple of days to anyone, I begin to weep much to my dismay.

But again there was a great lesson in this for me. As things are unfolding, I’m beginning to realize that this is part of God’s plan for me. Too often we are so worried about change that we forget that change is the only realm in which possibility exists. If there is no uncertantity in your life or if everything we do is known and predictable, there is no growth. Life becomes stagnant. And yet change frightens so many of us. We cling to the known with a tenacious grasp and only seem to enter the unknown kicking and screaming.

The reason is that it is difficult taking that step into the unknown. But by detaching myself from the routine of my predictable world, I find myself in a new world of possibility. It is like doors have been opened to admit me to new vistas. Although the next room seems dark and strange, there is a peace there. I’m finding that with every step I take, a new little light appears—a light of new possibility and that is exciting.

As I said in the beginning even though this sadness existed and I did shed a few tears over it, from the beginning I’ve also felt a sense of excitement that the Lord has something new in mind for me. I am learning to trust in that feeling of excitement and to let go of the sadness. Which reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures that is found in Jeremiah 29:11. My favorite translation of this comes from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible and reads, “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”

Even if Grizelda had been malignant or I had lost my vision, the Lord would not do anything to me that would not be for my best good. Trusting in that fact and walking through the doors He opens for me can only lead to goodness. So I say, “Hurray for change! Embrace the possibility!”

Fear vs. Faith

I’ve been a little slow today. I think I stayed up too late last night to celebrate with the kids. I’ve missed out on so much that I pushed myself to stay awake and welcome in the New Year. But overall things are still going well. Our children are starting to go home. It makes it empty here, but I think the quiet will be nice. As much as I loved having everyone here, 32 to 37 people in the house at once makes for a lot of noise and confusion! But I am thankful they could come. They were a strength and help.

One of the things I’ve learned through this experience is about the strength the gospel brings to us. President Monson once said, “In finding and trailing this spiritual contact with the infinite, we will feel the touch of inspiration and know that God will guide us as we put in Him our trust. That wise and righteous man, Job, declared the profound truth: ‘There is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth understanding’ (Job 32:8). It is this inspiration which we at times allow to grow dim, causing us to wander far below the level of our possibilities” (President Thomas S. Monson, The Will Within, Ensign, May 1987, p.67).

After my tumor was diagnosed, I was a little surprised at the reaction of friends that stopped by. After talking with me for a few moments, several friends said something about how I didn’t seem to be afraid. When I told them I wasn’t, they responded with things like, “But it’s all right to be afraid.” I agreed. This is a telestial world and fear is prevalent. But why would I want to be fearful if I didn’t have to be? Why take on all that pain when the Savior has promised that if I will just turn to Him, he will take care of me? Why trade in the peace I was experiencing for fear? It didn’t make any sense and I have pondered it a lot since then.

I think this is what the Savior spoke about when He said, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). This also takes us back to what Pres. Monson said, “It is this inspiration which we at times allow to grow dim, causing us to wander far below the level of our possibilities.” There are so many things the Lord wants to give us and would give us if we turned to Him in faith instead of spending our time comforting ourselves that it is all right to be afraid. It is a choice each of us daily makes. We can wallow in telestial fear or reach out and partake of celestial peace. The choice is ours. The power, however, resides only in faith.