When my daughter Kirsha was three years old, I left her with a friend for a few hours while I went to a doctor appointment. When I picked her up, I noticed a bite mark on her hand that had obviously been made by my friend’s three year old. When my friend saw me looking at the teeth marks she said, “I’m sorry. Robby is into biting and I don’t know how to stop him. What do you do?”
I told her that when my children bit someone I'd flip their lips with my index finger–just one quick flip that stings.
“Oh, I couldn’t do that,” she exclaimed, “I’m afraid I’d traumatize him.”
I didn’t think much more about it until that night when I pulled Kirsha’s shirt off and discovered 17 still well defined bite marks covering her back and arms. Shocked I thought about my friend’s words. Bite marks still visible six hours later were painfully inflicted. Surely Kirsha cried out. The irony was obvious. Her decision not to traumatize her son meant trauma for my daughter.
I learned a lot from that lesson. As a parent it is sometimes necessary to traumatize. And sometimes a loving God traumatizes us, to humble us, to teach us, to change the direction we are going and put us back on course.
Imagine you had cancer. It is growing, but has not yet spread. Your doctor tells you that an operation to remove the cancer will save your life, but then he says, “An operation will be very traumatic and cause you a lot of pain. It might also have serious complications. I don’t want to hurt you, so I won't perform the operation.”
No one wants a doctor like that. No one wants a God like that. When we feel the pains of life, we need to trust that God knows what He is doing and instead of getting angry and turning away from Him, our proper response should be, “Thank you.”
“Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.” D&C 59:11
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7 comments:
Was that a "dung" day by chance?
I think of all my blessings, some of which have come from tribultaion, but you're right, they are for our benefit.
As a second note, I love reading and learning from your blog, but their aren't enough new entires, I get on everyday, and get a little disappointed that there is nothing new; but I know I can learn many things through your experiences, your testimony, and what the spirit tells me while reading them. Thank you again, I don't know if I can truly tell you how grateful I am for your example, and the spirit you bring to class, that is inherent in your testimony.
Thank you! Yes, it was a "dung" day. (Thanks for remembering!)Knowing someone likes what I'm doing, I'll try to post more.
Mom, thank you so much that story is so beautiful. I really needed to hear that right now. You will never know how much. I can't even type this message to you because the tears are just flowing very rapidly from my eyes. I had a very spiritual experience to do with this very message this week and this was just the icing on the cake that I needed to end that very spiritual experience. Thank you so so much !! I love you!
Very well said. Sometimes we think life should be easy and without bumps in the road, but if we really want to grow we should welcome the experiences that stretch and refine us.
Great story. I am just glad that only you have memories of this. It's hard to believe I ever played with Robby again :) Wonderful way to illustrate such a basic concept of how God shows He loves us.
I agree I think you need to post more. I like reading your posts.
Thanks for all your lessons.
Who knew you would be giving a real-life example of trusting God and good doctors, and thanking God in all things as you go through the trauma of cancer yourself when you had so eloquently posted about this?! I guess God knew...but that's all...wow.
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