Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Love Languages

Years ago I read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In this book Dr. Chapman discusses the ways we show our love to others and how we feel loved by them. He has determined that there are five ways we express love. (1) Words of Affirmation (2) Quality Time (3) Gift Giving (4) Acts of Service and (5) Physical Touch. He explains that if we feel loved when people affirm us verbally we usually affirm others verbally in order to show our love for them. But this can misfire if the other person’s love language is one of the other four. While we may think we are abundantly expressing love, the other person may feel totally unloved.

On Dr. Chapman’s web site there is a 30 second Test to discover your primary love language so you can better understand yourself, but more than that by watching how those you love express love to you, you can learn their love language and better love them.

But loving others isn’t what this post is about. After I’d read the book and observed the love languages at work, I discovered something amazing. God knows my love language and daily He communicates His love to me in that language. In 1 Nephi 31:3, Nephi tells us that God, “speaketh unto men according to their language, unto their understanding.” That doesn’t only mean that if I speak Spanish or English he communicates to me in that language. He knows what makes me feel loved and he loves me in that way.

My major love language is gift giving. I always feel loved when someone gives me gifts and I love to give gifts. As I realized this, I began to notice that daily God sends me gifts. Just today I was working when I suddenly looked up and in the beveled edge of my mirror a rainbow of bright blue, green, red and yellow reflected into the room. For several minutes I savored the stunning color—more distinct and bright than anything I’ve seen before. It was a gift just for me and as I pondered that thought the gift spread love into every cell of my being.

I don’t know what your love language is, but I do know that God is speaking to you in that language. Just listen!

1 comment:

Laresa said...

I kept thinking about it since I read it yesterday so I thought I had better comment. Once you figure out what language God talks to you it is amazing. I realized this a long time ago but I really didn't put it together until you wrote this post. Wonderful thinking for the day!