In this mortal life it is the truth that you can only do one thing at a time. In any given moment you can play the piano, read a book, do the dishes, or feed a baby but you can’t do all of those things at the same time. In other words, life is sequential. At any given moment you can have short hair or long hair, but you can’t have short hair and long hair at the same time. But some of us go through life with short hair and feeling guilty that we don’t have long hair like the beautiful woman across the street. It is absurd! If you have short hair, enjoy it and forget about the long haired woman.
I realize that most of us don’t really fret over long or short hair, but we do fret over things just as absurd. We spend time with our children reading or cooking and then hear about how the neighbor took her children to the zoo and we vex ourselves with thoughts that we should have taken our children to the zoo. Absurd!
Each of us can only do one thing at a time and as long as we are doing something good with our time that is all that matters. Heaping painful guilt feelings on ourselves or feeling sorry that we didn’t do something differently or that we can’t do what others do or don’t want to do what others do is inflicting unnecessary pain. What is done is done and you can’t change it. Fretting about it doesn’t help and what you did do was what was best for your child and you.
So my message today is that if you are one of those people who is inflicting yourself with pain, stop fretting. Stop vexing yourself and instead enjoy what you are doing right now and don't worry about it later. As long as what you are doing is good, it is good!
Going through a divorce right now and trying to figure out what to do with my life I've learned that going on my knees and start listing and thanking the Lord for my blessings really clears my mind, relaxes my nerves!! and I am able to face my issues without as much doom and gloom.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a good point, Sherrie, although it is easier said than done for most of us. It's easy to choose between good and bad, but much harder to choose between good and good. There are so many worthwhile things to do, but we can't do it all. Focusing on making sure we're doing good is a lot better than fretting constantly on being disappointed that we can't do it all. Wish I'd done a little better with this when my kids were little. :-)
ReplyDeleteCathie
Thanks, Sherrie. This makes me feel better about the things I choose to do. They may not always be great choices, but I'm always trying and hoping to do good things. :)
ReplyDeleteBTW I want you to know I am not beating myself up about choices I made when my kids were little! I did a lot of the unnecessary pain behavior when I was young, but I did learn over time to choose the best I could and focus on that. Freeing myself from unnecessary pain has made it possible to function better and do better when the necessary pain comes along. Your blog is great because it makes us aware so we can learn. You help us all a lot, but especially your younger readers, who hopefully will not spend years of continually questioning decisions, but be able to keep moving forward in positive ways. Life is too short as it is, and it is liberating to make the best decision we can, and then move forward doing all the good things we are able while we are here.
ReplyDeleteCathie
i agree with what cathie is saying. i am incredibly grateful for all the things i have been able to learn at my young age especially when i see others around me twice my age that don't have a clue! i'm guessing you are speaking of those who don't frequent your blog that you wish did though? and then there is the old saying, you can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink. oh the frustration of having wonderful, helpful things to share but an unopen cup! thank you for taking the time to write these posts. i don't always have the time to make a long comment or comment at all but i appreciate you! :)
ReplyDeletebtw, i turn my blog into a book each year for my family and there have been a few times recently where i copied and pasted one of your posts with your name and linking you. do you mind if i have this printed or would you prefer i remove those posts when i do print? you can email privately if you like
richard19202002@yahoo.com
thanks~!