Living in Truth at Home Evening

I sometimes get email that I love to share with the rest of you. And I received one of those emails last week that I just have to share. Kristen wrote to tell me how she had taught Living in Truth (specifically the Pit of Illusion) to her children during Family Home Evening.

She wrote, “My family home evening last night went really well. I actually put a couple of Barbies in a decorative birdcage with the door open in the back and we talked about the Pit of Illusion. Then I shared with them the story of Nephi staying out of the pit on the boat. We also did some role playing with situations in our family about staying out of the pit. My children are 10, 7, and 4, but I think they really got it!”

She went on to say that she explained to her children that she struggles with staying out of the Pit just like they do, and I think that may have been the most powerful part of the lesson for her children.

Learning that the struggle to Live in Truth is a life long struggle and that we all encounter the Pit from time to time, is not only freeing, but it helps us understand others. It also helps us be more loving. Instead of thinking thoughts like, “That jerk!” we think, “That poor person is struggling in the Pit. I know how that feels. Maybe I can help love them out of the Pit.”

The beauty is that the more we help others stay out of the Pit, the easier it gets for us to stay out of the Pit.

Thanks, Kristen!

Lighting Their Eyes

Today in class we are discussing the Isaiah chapters found in 2 Nephi 17-24. We start by going through chapter 17 verse by verse. We usually cover 17 and 18 and then touch on 19 and 20, but there isn’t time for much else. But the exciting thing is that chapters 17 and 18 can only be understood by first discussing the historical context that is found in 2 Kings 16 and 2 Chronicles 28. The students come to class a little discouraged having read the Isaiah chapters and finding them as clear as mud. But then we discuss the history and lights begin to go on as the meaning starts to click and becomes easy to understand. That is the most rewarding part of being a teacher. It is so fun to watch their eyes light up with understanding.

But isn’t that one of the best parts of being a parent also? The lights coming on isn’t always as obvious with parenting as with teaching for many reasons. Sometimes the lights come on when you aren’t around. Other times a child purposely doesn’t want you to notice the lights are coming on and hides the fact. He or she doesn’t want to admit that anything is being learned from you! But there are times when you see and realize that you are getting through to them and they are learning from you. For example, whenever we talked about keeping the Sabbath day holy there were usually a few arguments and kids trying to push the limits. But then days would pass and suddenly I’d overhear one of them explaining the Sabbath rules to a friend and they would be defending the very rules they had described as “stupid” before.

As parents we have to watch and savor those moments. Those times are wonderful times and as the children grow older you find out that there were many, many more moments of lights going on than you ever realized at the time.

Agency and Others

When we understand agency it opens up whole new vistas of gospel knowledge. As I learned these things, it changed how I parented. I realized that I wasn’t the monitor of right and wrong. That’s the work of the Spirit. I also realized that when I manipulated or coerced or lectured too much I created so much "noise" my children couldn’t hear the Spirit speaking to them. My job wasn't to "pour" knowledge into them, but to create an environment where the Spirit could teach and direct them.
One of my first experiences with this was especially interesting. Breana was always a picky eater and I tried everything I could to make sure she got the proper nutrition. One day we came home a little late from running errands. Quickly I made her a tuna sandwich and then, to encourage her to eat it in time to leave for kindergarten, told her she could have ice cream as soon as it was finished. Then I went to the nursery to put the baby down for a nap.
Seconds later Breana came into the nursery and told me the sandwich was gone and could she have her ice cream. I knew she hadn’t eaten the sandwich, and at this point I would have normally begun to lecture her about honesty, the importance of good nutrition, being obedient, etc. But I had just learned about agency and realized that the light of Christ was working in her own heart and telling her what to do so instead of lecturing, I looked her in the eyes and said, "Breana, you know what is right and you know what is wrong." Then I went back to the baby.
What happened next astounded me. When I lectured, Breana always responded with a corresponding fit. You know how it goes, arguing that grows into demanding and down on the floor kicking and screaming. But this day she stared back at me as if I’d learned how to fly and quietly walked out of the room.
I finished putting the baby down and then filled with curiosity at the silence walked back to the dining room where I found Breana sitting on the floor Indian style eating the sandwich right out of the garbage can. While I try not to think about the sanitation aspects of that moment, I do think about what happened. Breana’s conscience (the light of Christ) led her to do what I had tried on countless occasions to do and had failed at. To this day (she is now in her late 30s!) she tells me how much she hated it when I told her it was up to her. She fast learned that it is much easier to argue with someone you think is imposing something upon you than it is to argue with your own heart. I learned that instead of helping my children, my behavior actually interfered with their ability to hear the Spirit speaking to them.
As we trust the Spirit to guide and facilitate that Spirit to speak to our children, spouse, friends, co-workers or anyone else we are dealing with, things work out better. Yes, sometimes they will choose incorrectly, but even that can be a great learning experience if we allow it to be.