Rejoicing With Others--The Glue in Relationships

All of us know the importance of reaching out to support and encourage others when they are going through adversity or hard times. But there is a growing body of new psychological research that shows that  supporting others in good times impacts the quality of a relationship much more than when we support them in bad times.

However, how we respond to other people's good news makes a big difference. A psychologist at the University of California, Shelly Gable, found that people respond to good news in four ways. (1) They ignore the news. (2) They give a luke warm response such as, "That's nice." (3) They give a negative response such as "That surprises me. I didn't think you were qualified for the job." and (4) They respond positively and enthusiastically and ask follow-up questions and comments such as, "It's about time someone realized how vital you are to the organization."

Responding in the first three ways actually damages a relationship. Responding in the fourth way with enthusiasm and positive comments and questions bonds a relationship even more than helping people when in need.

As Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." So today find someone to rejoice with, and watch as your relationship with that person grows stronger and more satisfying. 

More On Forgiveness

Usually when we think of forgiveness we think of one situation where we have been hurt and dealing with that situation. But there are other kinds of forgiveness that require us to just let go of all the hurt from many situations. These types of forgiveness usually are needed in family situations.

Families are wonderful. Family relationships are deep rooted and can be a powerful support to every family member. But at the same time, because they are so close and intimate we often experience each other at our very worst. Therefore, family relationships can also create hurt—if we let it.

Many years ago I wrote an article about forgiving our parents for the way they raised us. It was published in the Ensign and was entitled “A Difficult Kind of Forgiveness.” I received a lot of response from that article and realized that almost all of us at some time or another received a few emotional “scars” inflicted by our parents because of things that happened when we were growing up. But we can let go of the past, forgive all that happened and move on. This not only frees us from unnecessary pain; it rejuvenates and enables strong family relationships in the future. Our past may not be what we wanted, but our future can be if we forgive and move on.