The Supernatural Power of Family

This has been a summer of travel and family and I'm loving every minute of it. Last week I had five of my daughters here and we went to lunch together. And the last few days I've been in Tennessee to see my grandson who just returned from a mission and to attend the temple with his brother who is just  leaving on a mission. Talk about happy days! There is nothing like being with family especially when those family members are making such good life choices.

As we finished the temple session and stood together talking it was all I could do to keep my heart in my chest! I had my daughter and three grandsons with me in the temple. Since most of my children live far away I haven't had the opportunity to do a lot of things with them and so being with them at that special time was very especially wonderful.

Sometimes the stress and work a family involves makes us forget how very wonderful family is. Living together in such a close relationship also presents opportunities for hurt feelings and problems that can keep us from enjoying family ties. But when we learn to let those negative things go and concentrate on the love and happiness part of family, the joy that comes from those relationships is extraordinary and amazing (something beyond this world!). I don't have words to explain it, but I can feel it. It is real and wonderful.

Eternal Family

I'm in South Carolina! We traveled all day yesterday arriving just in time to accompany our grandson's fiance to the temple for the first time. It was a wonderful evening--so full of joy and happiness and everything good. I am so grateful for eternal families! And I'm especially grateful for my family. They are wonderful.

Tonight my mother flies in--remember, the one who a few months ago broke nine ribs and her clavicle. She has healed well, and is coming for the wedding of my first grandchild to marry and her first great-grandchild to marry. It is a momentous occasion.

This afternoon D3 arrives with her family. Tomorrow D4 and D5 arrive. And then Saturday is the wedding. I wish more of the family could come, but with all the little grandchildren and duties the others have, it just isn't possible. But because we are bound for eternity the others will be here in spirit, and that adds to the joy.

My Natal Day

My Flaming Cheesecake

I am officially a day older today than I was yesterday. In other words, I celebrated my birth day. Mother came down for dinner, brought a birthday crown for me to wear, and told me all about the day I was born, sunny but cold, and how fast I was born, the doctor didn’t even make it. She loves to tell me that I was the one who made her a mother and I love to hear her say it. Present also was D5 and her family, a son-in-law, my daughter in law, four grandchildren, and of course, Mr. J.

Mr. J cooked dinner and let me choose the menu. For a man who years ago couldn’t boil water, he’s come a long, long way. He made a delicious massaman curry dish, my daughter-in-law made a wonderful salad, and D5, knowing how much I love lemon made me a lemon cheese cake AND a lemon meringue pie. The dinner was fantastic, but the best part, which is always my favorite part of a good dinner, was sitting around the table after everyone was full, talking and visiting and laughing. I loved it.

It is easy to stay in the present moment when the present moment is so delightful. I think I’ll capture the feeling of yesterday and store it up and bring it out whenever I begin to slip into the Pit.

Climbing the Family Tree

Family Tree here

I've been reading some family histories my mother gave me for Christmas and marveling at the ancestors that made me. I've heard most of the stories before; I grew up on them. But reading them now when I've experienced so much more of life, I appreciate what the stories mean more than I ever did before. For example, my great-grandmother Christina Marie Sorensen Anderson (Steena for short) was widowed when she was just forty-seven years old. She'd given birth to eleven children and also raised two other neighbor boys whose extended family refused to take them in when their parents died. She only had a few weeks of education and so when she was left to care for the family, she did the only thing she could, she farmed to keep them all alive and in her spare time was midwife to most of the women in the area. She lived a widow for forty-nine years, and I remember her making the most delicious cinnamon rolls I've ever tasted in her big, black, coal burning stove.

Her seven daughters have been my idols all my life. They were strong women--all of them either nurses or school teachers who each faced incredible adversity and tribulation with courage and strength. It makes me proud and has inspired me knowing that I am an "Anderson Woman." One of these Anderson Women was my grandmother, the oldest of the sisters and a school teacher who served a mission in Hawaii, who died when my mother was sixteen so I never knew her, but her influence has been with me every day of my life.

Reading these histories has warmed me, and it can warm you. It seems that sometimes we feel so alone in life. Discouragement sets in, dull winter days erode the joy, and life feels empty. At those times one of the best things you can do is remember the stories of those who have gone before you. Everyone has someone a generation or two back who inspires courage and motivates to be better. If you haven't found that person or persons on your family tree, start searching. I guarantee you they are there, and when you find their story and savor it, you will feel of their spirit walking beside you every day bouying you up and urging you on through the cold Januaries of life.

Tradition!

Those of us here in Utah Valley woke up to a white world. It snowed last night covering trees, bushes, dirt, roads, cars, and rooftops with beautiful white snow. I love the first snow. I love it so much that years ago I started a tradition in the family that when the first snow that sticks to the ground falls I make cinnamon rolls. So guess what I'll be doing today? I can't wait.

Traditions are wonderful. Look at these definitions of the word tradition. (1) The handing down of information, beliefs, and customs by word of mouth or by example from one generation to another without written instruction. (2) cultural continuity in social attitudes, customs, and institutions. Traditions are powerful ways to teach and to instill joy in your family. They give children (and me!) things to look forward to and anticipate. In short, traditions are wonderful.

We are coming into the holiday season when everyone has holiday traditions, but I'm curious. What traditions do you have that aren't part of a holiday? Leave a comment and share with us.

Love Lasts Forever

Yesterday was my parent's sixty-fifth wedding anniversary. The only problem is that Mom had to celebrate it alone because Dad left this earth a few years back. I knew Mom would be hurting and so I called her to see how she was holding up.

"It's a bitter sweet day," she said. "I'm thankful for the many years we had together, and I know his death wasn't an end but only an interruption--we will be together for eternity--but right now it's lonely withou him."

Then, as she has every year on their anniversary, she told me about the day they were married. They were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple by her grandfather, the president of the temple. "It was a grey, drizzly day," she said. "But Grandfather told us that what starts in a storm ends in sunshine." And that's the truth.

The room they were married in was later removed and an elevator installed in that space. My dad used to joke that their marriage had been going up and down ever since.

But it mainly went up! And now as I watch Mom anticipate being with Dad again, I am awed by the blessings of eternity made possible by an Atonement, priesthood authority, and the gospel of Jesus Christ. Because of these things families can continue to go up and up and up--even though in mortality there are a few down days! That's the Good News!--Love lasts forever.

My Wonder-Children

art by Karen Tribett

The last of my children left today. Physically it is a relief. I don’t have the stamina I once had to keep up with all of this activity. But it is also a bit sad to have them go. The good thing is that I now have some wonderful memories of playing games with my wonder-children, of seeing their excited faces as they participated in the activities, and of watching them get to know and help each other. 

Yesterday I woke up very sick—not getting to bed on time has taken its toll!—but being sick has given me time to reflect on what fantastic children and wonder-children I have. When a child woke up he or she didn’t just get hugs from mother, he got hugs from every aunt and uncle. When a child needed something he didn’t have to go find mother because whoever was nearest met the need. I’m sure that all 24 of the wonder-children who were here have gone away feeling loved by every aunt and uncle they have in this family. 

That thought makes my heart sing!

Lessons on Chaos

As I’ve been explaining our family chaos this last week it occurred to me that some of you may not know our family situation. So I’ll explain. Mr. J and I have nine daughters and one son. (Yes, he is the last child—the tithing child!) All of them live far away except for D5 who lives nearby. D1 (has six sons) lives in South Carolina, D2 (has three sons and one daughter) lives in California, D3 (has four sons and one daughter) lives in Tennessee, D4 (has four sons) lives in California, D5 (has one son) lives in Orem, Utah!!!! D6 (has one daughter, one son, and another son on the way) lives in California, D7 (has two sons and two daughters) lives in Texas, and D8 (has two sons, one daughter and a baby of unknown gender on the way) has been living in Mauritania, Africa, for the past two years but is now relocating to Seattle, Washington. Our ninth daughter died, and our son (has one son, one daughter, and one baby on the way) live in Utah, but a four hour drive away.

If you were doing the math you know that adds up to 9 children, 9 spouses, and 31 grandchildren. Since most of them live far away, when they come to visit they stay here which means 51 people—thus the chaos. D1 and her six boys didn’t come, but everyone else has been here. It has been fun, but wild! What isn’t broken in the house is dirty, but they will soon all be gone and while we are patching and cleaning up we will miss them. 

The older I get the more I realize what a blessing families are. But the older I get the harder it is to show them how much I love them. This old body just doesn’t do what it used to do. Since Grizelda loud noises literally hurt my head, and this week I am going through another procedure for skin cancer on my face which means I can’t be out in the sun with them. But I’ve managed individual time to snuggle on the couch to read or talk or giggle with each of the grandchildren individually—usually in the mornings before their parents are awake. I love it and will miss that part of the visit.

In short, the past two weeks have expanded my understanding of what Lehi meant when he said, “It must needs be that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11). Every experience, every situation has it’s joy and it’s pain and we just have to choose which we are going to cling to and remember.

Home--Again!

Wall to wall people!

Miracles still happen. After almost a week in the mountains in a tight fitting cabin all nine families have returned unharmed and still friends! The still friends part is the most miraculous. Some are still here, but tomorrow they start departing for their homes. It has been a hectic kind of fun. My children never cease to amaze me. All families had a meal to cook and all had an activity to put on either in the afternoon or the evening. To say we ate well is a supreme understatement. And the activities were so entertaining no one wanted them to end.

The event began with a surprise. Some of the girls had ordered T-shirts for all of us that said, C+S= one crazy, happy family. And after that everything was off with a bang.


We had a Minute to Win It event that had everyone cheering as the two teams did everything from eating chocolate pudding out of a diaper, to stringing penne pasta on a piece of fettuccini held in the mouth of the contestant—no hands allowed! They knocked cups over with a ball held in the foot of a pair of panty hose with the panty part worn on the head. My favorite was watching everyone try to get the Oreos placed on their foreheads into their mouths without using any hands. I couldn’t do it, but several of them managed it.

Another activity was a scavenger hunt with the older kinds following clues to find stations where they had to perform feats outside and the young kids inside. I have to say I have some very bright grandchildren who figured out the challenges very fast.



The donut garden we grew. You can't see the worms,
but they are in there!

 When it was my turn we had a chocolate pudding eating contest. The catch was that the person eating the pudding had someone else feeding them and all were blindfolded. That night I had all the grandchildren grow donuts in cups of “dirt” made out of crushed chocolate sandwich cookies. We planted Nana’s Donut Seeds (Cheerios) and magically the next morning the plain Cheerios had grown into brown cake donuts and the frosted Cheerios had grown into white cake donuts. But somehow (gummy) worms had gotten into the “soil” during the night also.

We have a tradition of holding a raffle whenever the family gets together. I buy fun prizes from the dollar store and we have tickets and everyone wins a prize. The hit this year was the blow up pillow that when sat on makes vulgar sounds. The adults didn’t much like the squeaky toy Jenna won, but she liked it a lot.

Night time was the most fun when all the kids were sleeping where ever they could find a spot and the adults stayed up half the night telling stories about their growing up years. I now understand what the old adage, “Ignorance is bliss,” means. There were a few things I’m glad I didn’t know until now.

My favorite part was watching my family interact together. Since they all live far away, I don’t get to see that often. When I was growing up the adults did their thing and the kids did theirs. I don’t remember any interaction. But my family includes everyone. One night we, adults and children, danced in a big circle and someone got called out to go into the center to perform a solo dance move. Everyone was included and that’s how it went the whole time. The adults participated with the children and included them in everything from the B-B gun shooting to the hiking to the storytelling.

In short, at Johnson Camp a wonderful time was had by all!

I'm Home!

We traveled all day and arrived home weary at about midnight. I was tempted to complain when we sat on the runway for an hour at JFK waiting for our turn to take off, but then I remembered the Pioneers and how it took them months of stress, hardship, pain, hunger, and fatigue to make the same trip I would make in five hours and I managed to stop the complaining.

I'm spending the next few days with these amazing people! Lucky me!

It was sheer delight to return home to a houseful of our children and grandchildren. The children waited up for us and we giggled for awhile before we all went to bed. However, the grandchildren were asleep except for two of the teenagers and so I haven't seen them yet. I can't wait. I'm tempted to go wake them, but then my mothering memories awaken within me and I refrain myself. Mothering memory number one: Waking a sleeping child turns them into tigers for the rest of the day! There are just some things you don't do even when you want to.

This afternoon we leave for a cabin in the mountains. I won't have Internet access there so I probably won't be able to post anything until I get back on Saturday. But if by chance I find a way, I'll keep you updated on our adventures. I have some very fun things planned (like a pudding eating contest!) and I know the girls have some great plans also.

Happy Birthday, Dad

Today is my father’s birthday and I’m missing him a lot. He has been gone for four years, but if he were still alive would be 90 today. Since I am the oldest of his children, many of my memories of him bring back feelings of strength, vibrancy, robustness, and protectedness. But my most endearing memories of him include scriptures.

It was from my dad that I learned to love and desire to search the scriptures. Some of my earliest recollections are of him discussing gospel topics with his friends. I was so young that the conversations didn’t make much sense, but there was no mistaking the enthusiasm, love, and diligence with which Dad approached the scriptures. He’d turn many a discussion that started out to be about sports or national news or the weather into a gospel discussion. And as a teenager whenever I had problems he’d bring up just the right scripture story or verses to answer and calm me. I grew up with gospel topics as much a part of dinner as salt and pepper.

Oh how I’m missing those gospel discussions—especially today. During the last few years of his life when his mind wasn’t what it had been he’d still desire and try to discuss with me, but it didn’t always make sense and I’d find myself avoiding his conversations because it hurt so much. One day I walked in to find him in the chair he studied in, the Book of Mormon in his lap. “I don’t understand this,” he said with tears in his voice.

“What is it you don’t understand, Dad?” I asked as I walked to his side.

“Any of it,” he said, the sadness choking him. By then I was at his side and noticed that the book in his lap was upside down. I had to hurry away so he wouldn’t see me cry.

But I know that he is now in a comfortable chair studying or if not he’s attending a gospel class taught by some great prophet. He now understands more than he ever did, and I can’t wait to be with him again and find out all he has learned—to discuss it like we used to. Oh what a reunion it will someday be!

Hurray for Family!

I grew up in the hey-day of the feminist movement and the ERA. I heard all the talk about women and careers and rights and equality. I heard famous women bad mouthing women who stayed home and baked cookies. I heard it all but I’m so glad I didn’t listen to it all. Granted there were some major steps forward that I’m glad were accomplished for women. There were major problems such as unequal pay and prejudice in the job market. Some of those things still need to be better. But at the same time some of the things advocated were detrimental to women and I’ve lived long enough now that I’ve seen some things unfold and unravel. 

For one thing, I am so grateful that I had a large family. My children bring me so much joy and happiness and I ache for friends and others who opted to not have children or to not have many because of the demeaning rhetoric coming from the feminist movement. Yes, children can break your heart. Yes, they are expensive. Yes, they make mistakes. But anything in life that is worthwhile has its opposition and heartaches. Nothing good comes easy.

At this stage of life, with the rearing and raising behind me, I can honestly say that motherhood is one of the most enduring and fantastic joys of life. I love watching my children serve each other. I love seeing how they love and pray for one another. I love how even though they are scattered around the world they stay in contact with each other and support each other. I feel like John who said, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (3 John 1:4).

An Irish Morning!

“Top of the morning to you!”   

That’s my favorite Irish greeting and appropriate for this St. Patrick’s Day. 

The appropriate Irish response is, “And the rest of the day to you!” (And I'm imagining you saying it to me.)

I love St. Patrick’s Day (maybe because I still believe in leprechauns!). 

When I had children living at home, I started every St. Patrick’s Day off with green pancakes, green eggs, and green milk. 

(I used a lot of green food coloring on this day!) 

It was always fun, and now gives me lots of warm, fuzzy memories. 

But the best St. Patrick’s Day ever was the one when D5 was born. My biggest baby, she wowed everyone with her fat little cheeks and thick black hair.

She was born in the Bicentennial year, 1976, (the red, white and blue year) on St. Patrick’s Day, (green day). But there is more! 

Mariah is the one above and between Mr. J and me.

By the time she was six months old, it was evident that her hair would be a beautiful red and she has one blue eye and one brown. Thus she is my colorful child and she has lived up to that name because she has added so much color to my life. Happy birthday, Mariah!

And I hope you all enjoy your green day. 

If you don’t have St. Patrick’s Day memories warming your heart 

make some for next year!

I'm in Merry Land!

Union soldiers still fighting the battles!

Hello from Maryland! I have had am amazing time here learning from wonderful people. I arrived late afternoon on Thursday and did the first Truth workshop Thursday night. Friday morning I taught early morning seminary to a group of beautiful teenagers who despite the early hour were eager and attentive. After that at 9:00 I taught the second Truth Workshop--the one on the Truth Tools that is always so fun to present.

Me and Mr. Lincoln

As soon as it was over, we drove north to Gettysburg where we ate lunch at the Dobbin house, an old home built for a family of 19 children. We ate in the cellar of the home which had been built over a spring so that the family had "indoor" water and refrigeration! Amazing ingenuity in that place. The second floor of the home had a crawl space under the floor where they hid slaves as part of the underground railroad. After eating, we walked up and saw the crawl space and other civil war memorabilia. We had a delightful lunch with many (eleven) of the people who had attended the workshop. Most of the women returned home after that, but our carload toured Gettysburg listening to the auto tour. My heart was touched with thoughts of all that has gone in to giving and preserving liberty.

We returned home just in time to do the last Truth workshop. It was a busy day but the women I am with are amazing. I have learned so much from them. After everyone had left last night, the women I am staying with (a get together of five sisters and their mother) got talking about their growing up together and we laughed until we cried and then we laughed some more. We didn't get to bed until after midnight, but every moment was sheer joy. Listening to their stories, feeling their love for one another, sharing their spirits has been such a treat for me. It is an added testimony that families are wonderful and if they can be this wonderful here in a telestial existence, imagine what they are going to be in a celestial world! Oh the joy we are in for!

The Power of Traditions

Picture by Christopher Talbot Frank //www.allposters.com/

Just yesterday I was walking on a newly laid carpet of autumn leaves. This morning the ground was covered with snow. Usually by the first snow the trees are barren, the leaves have blown away, and the snow rests on skeletal branches. But this morning with trees still full of golden leaves the snow on the branches was thick and bent the branches low as if they were bowing to their king.

Snow fell softly the whole three miles and the morning shone brighter than usual because the approaching dawn reflected off the fallen snow. In short the morning walk was absolutely magical.

I love the first snow of the season. That’s why decades ago I started a family tradition that on the day when the first snow occurs that sticks to the ground I make cinnamon rolls for the family. Years ago all my children’s friends caught on to the tradition and showed up at my house on the first snow. I loved it and I miss them. This year the only child I have in town is my son, but he’s already talked to me to ask when the cinnamon rolls will be coming out of the over. Since I teach today, it won’t be until evening, but he’ll be there—I am assured of that.

I wish more of the family were here to enjoy the tradition tonight. But despite the fact that most of them live far away I know that when it snows wherever they are they will think of me and cinnamon rolls and the great times we had around the kitchen table laughing and celebrating not the snow, but family and friends.

Memorial to Family

There is nothing quite as amazing as family when you need them. They step up to the plate and support and help. They cry with you and for you. They pray for you. They patiently put up with your faults and idiosyncrasies. They give you a swift kick when you need to be motivated, and a hug when you need to be encouraged.

Maybe that is why seeing families fail hurts so much. When you understand the strength family can and should be, it causes so much pain to watch a family fall apart.

We all need each other. Especially we need family. This Memorial Day weekend is all about celebrating our heritage and the people (family members) who have passed on, but let's also celebrate the family members that are still with us and the bonds that tie us together. Let's celebrate family in all it is and should be.

Family!

I have the most amazing family. They (like me) are not without flaws, but they are all trying their best to do what is right.

One of the greatest delights of my life is watching them love and care for one another. They are scattered all over the world—from Africa to California and various places in between—and yet they manage to be each other’s best friends. They call and Skype each other frequently, share recipes, parenting advice, and words of encouragement and love. Like I said, we are not perfect, but when someone says something stupid or even hurtful, they figure that person is having a bad day and forget it or laugh it off. You can’t live together as a family for as many years as we have and not have some bad water flow under the bridge, but my children have forgiven and forgotten and have moved on in love and peace. They stick together!

In short, my children live in Truth and it brings me great joy—the greatest joy of my life. Like John, I say, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (3 John 1:4).

Time to Get Some Rest

The family went home this morning and the house is empty. I’ve been cleaning and straightening and it might soon look like someone besides Oscar the Grouch lives here. Two weeks of chaos, laughter, clutter, cooking for fifteen, noise, game playing, laughter (I know I already said that, but there was enough laughter for two entries!) has come to a close. It has been a busy, but great holiday.

I hope you also had great times. Let me know what you did! I'd love to hear from all of you.

Life! Isn't It About Family?

My heart is always full, but today it is overflowing. Saturday our 30th grandchild was born. Both mother and son are doing well and John Gregory Ferguson’s three siblings are excited to welcome him home. What a miracle birth is!

I know that many sorrow because they can’t have children or don’t have as many as they want. I don’t pretend to understand why so many wonderful people who would be such amazing parents can’t have children, but I do know that God will bless them and that at some point they will have many, many children. As the Psalmist said, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward” (Psalm 127:3). I have been blessed with many children and grandchildren in this life, and I rejoice greatly in that blessing. But I also know that because children are “an heritage of the Lord,” those of you who now sorrow for the lack of children will be compensated in this life and blessed in the next with the reward of children.

There is so much we don’t understand. That’s where faith comes in. But this much I do understand; God loves us and will make everything all right if we just trust in Him. We don’t understand, but He does. We can’t see the end, but He can. We can’t begin to comprehend the marvelous blessings, but He is waiting to bestow them upon us. Because of Him my heart is full!

Families Aren’t Meant To Be Perfect

At church meetings and other places that encourage and support the family, we hear about how important the home and family are. We learn that the home is a sacred place like a temple. We learn that it is a refuge from the world where good is taught and evil shunned. This teaching is important and true, but when we focus only on these holy aspects of family life we often create an incorrect perception—a perception that is discouraging and unrealistic.

Yes, home is a sacred place and a refuge from the outside world, but at the same time it is a laboratory for learning. This means that not everything that happens within the walls of a home is going to be a sacred, perfect, wonderful experience. A laboratory is a place where people experiment to find the right ways to do things—the best ways. This takes practice. A laboratory is a place where trial and error is one of the greatest teaching tools. Mistakes are often made but learned from. A laboratory is a place where basic truths are accepted and then applied in order to expand knowledge and learn new and better ways. All of this implies that there will be mistakes and times of chaos and starting over and lots of activity. But in a laboratory this is considered a type of delightful chaos as new things discoveries mean growth. Thomas Edison used his laboratory to experiment with thousands of different filaments before he found materials that would glow for long periods of time. But he accepted that as a purpose of a laboratory and didn’t get discouraged because the first materials he tried didn’t work. He just kept experimenting until he found what worked.

What I am saying is that perfection is not what the family unit is all about. Family is meant to be our laboratory for immortality. It is the place where we experiment and learn how we can be like Jesus Christ. So when things go wrong in the home, when experiments as to how to handle situations fail, when others don’t understand the experiment and seem to be sabotaging our efforts, or when any other problems occur, don’t get discouraged. Instead, like Edison, just recognize that you’ve learned one more thing that doesn’t work and then go on to try something else. My bet is that within your family—whatever its composition—you have all the variables necessary for you to learn everything you need to know about how to be a good Christian. So move on and happy experimenting!