Mother's Advice

When I got married my mother gave me two pieces of advice. The first was, “Sherrie, watch what you eat because if you are not careful you and Carl are going to look like Jack Sprat and his wife.” For those of you who don’t remember, Jack Sprat is the subject of a nursery rhyme: “Jack Sprat could eat no fat. His wife could eat no lean. And so betwixt the two of them, they licked the platter clean.” To understand why Mother told me this, you have to know that when we married Carl was 6’ tall and weighed 140 pounds if fully clothed. It was good advice.

The second piece of advice was, “Just know that you are not welcome to come back to this house to live unless he beats you or gets drunk.” To tell the truth, at the time I was shocked by that and a little hurt. It caused me to wonder if she loved me, or if she was so glad to have me gone she wanted to be sure I wouldn’t be back. But within a short time I realized the wisdom of mother’s words as I witnessed a few of my friends who when they encountered newly-wed problems run home to their mothers and eventually ended up divorced.

When Carl and I encountered the inevitable newly-wed problems, I knew I wasn’t welcome back home, but I realized that what Mother had meant was that I was to stay with my husband and work things out. It was wonderful advice and over the years I have been surprised to see how many times a marriage is ruined because a mother interferes or because at the least sign of trouble a bride runs home to momma.

This advice has been some of the best I’ve ever been given not just for marriage but for all areas of my life. Running away only prolongs problems and usually complicates them more. Staying (unless there is danger of physical harm) and working through a problem until you reach a conclusion is difficult, but it is the only way to progress and find happiness.