I'm Learning -- Slowly

Don't you just love it when you catch yourself doing the very thing you are preaching against and working so hard to overcome? No! But that's how life goes and that's how we learn.

If you've read Good News! much you already know that I'm a struggling pessimist-addict who is working hard at being positive and non-critical. That's what caused me to search out and learn what it means to Live in Truth. Some days I feel like I'm doing well at my goals and other days I find myself in the Pit of Illusion more than I want to be. And then there are the days I think I'm doing well and something brings me up short. That's what happened on the way home from California yesterday.

I was slowly making my way through the security line at the airport when I noticed a woman in the winding line beside me wearing a banner diagonally across her chest with big, pink, glittery letters that said, "Bachelorette." My immediate thought (I'm sorry to admit it!) was, "That is so weird. Why would anyone parade through an airport advertising in pink glitter their marital status?"

Obvious to you, that was an extremely negative comment. (Mind you, I didn't say it out loud; I just thought it loudly!) But it didn't even register in my mind (think 60 years of bad habit!) that I was thinking a very negative thought UNTIL about two minutes later when someone new entered the security line and seeing the Bachelorette proclaimed aloud to the woman with him, "How cute! Look at that girl with the pink banner."

I was immediately called to repentance and realized my thinking was wrong. The Lord chastens those He loves!

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: 

nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness 

unto them which are exercised thereby. 

Hebrews 12:11

Many Thanks!

Many, many thanks to the wonderful sisters of the Hanford Stake who have made me feel so welcome. I have enjoyed my visit here and am especially grateful to those of you who have left such kind comments on GOOD NEWS!  I appreciate it, I'll be retuning home this afternoon.

After the conference a sister gave me this amazing origami rose that she had made. It is so beautiful, and a gift from the heart always means so much to me. 

Learning

The day went well! I met some wonderful new sisters and learned from them and shared what I have learned with them. But I completely forgot to share that fantastic quote  I  posted yesterday! I got going in a different direction and left it out. 

It is surprising how many times when you speak a lot the spirit takes over and you end up teaching things you didn't plan on teaching. It is an interesting experience that helps me realize how much God loves each of us and when we are in an audience  He will  sometimes even change what a speaker has planned in order to meet our needs. Therefore I need to concentrate on going to meetings prepared and with the proper attitudes so that I can learn the things He has planned for me to learn.

I'll share more of what I learned from these good sisters on Monday. It was great.

Sharing Good Words

I made it to CA. The plane ride was much smoother than the last ride I took. I am now enjoying the company of D2 and her wonderful family. 

I only have a moment today, but I want to share with you a quote I am using tomorrow. I love this message that President Brigham Young gave us. "In all your social communications, or whatever your associations are, let all the dark, discontented, murmuring, unhappy, miserable feelings, all the evil fruit of the mind, fall from the tree in silence and unnoticed; and so let it perish, without taking it up to present to your neighbors. But when you have joy and happiness, light and intelligence, truth and virtue, offer that fruit abundantly to your neighbors, and it will do them good, and so strengthen the hands of your fellow beings."

Triumph Over Chaos

Ready or not I leave in two hours for California to speak at a Women's Conference in the Hanford Stake on Saturday. Yesterday as I was working on my talks everything went wrong that could possibly go wrong. I couldn't find my past notes. Both of my computers refused to work and so did the printer. I couldn't find my scriptures! (I have seven sets, but I couldn't find the scriptures I travel with.) I kept getting interrupted and I couldn't find my flash drive with the PowerPoint presentation that I had made on it. And that's just a few of the things that went wrong! It was a terrible, no good, horrible day.

After all that chaos I'm not sure I'm prepared, but I am more convinced than ever that Living in Truth works. I made it through the ordeal without being vexed or upset which if you know my past you know is monumental. That kind of thing used to destroy me. But I kept telling myself that everything is going to be fine and I stayed out of the Pit of Illusion and made it through the day with little pain. This weekend may not be the best prepared lecture I've ever given, but it will be backed up with a lot of conviction. Hopefully that will communicate something.

Everything is exactly as it should be. I'm going to trust and enjoy the present moment!

Listening to Joshua Bell

Life experiences have a way of sticking with us and making it difficult to Live in Truth unless we consciously make a decision to do so. Every moment in our lives is new, but because of past life experiences we often miss what is being given to us in the present moment. An amazing experiment done in January 2007 exemplifies this.

Gene Weingarten, a journalist with The Washington Post enlisted the help of the world famous violinist, Joshua Bell. Bell dressed like a street musician and played several violin pieces in the L’Enfant Plaza Metro subway station in Washington, D. C. for forty-five minutes. The proceedings were videotaped on a hidden camera (see it here) and revealed that of the 1,097 people who passed by, only seven stopped to listen and only one of those recognized him. During that forty-five minutes Bell collected $52.17 from twenty-eight people, twenty dollars of it from the woman who recognized him. The night before people had paid more than $52 per person to listen to him play in concert!

The question we have to ask ourselves is what would we have done if we had been one of the 1,097 people? Would we have assumed that since it wasn't a concert hall and since the man was dressed in rags this couldn't possible be worth listening to? Would we have let past experiences with “street people” taint our present experience? Or would we have been alive and alert to the present moment and accepted the gift of music offered to us?

In Seattle recently I realized that this is one area of Living in Truth I need to work on. While walking along the wharf, I encountered a Polynesian woman sitting on some stairs with several plastic shopping bags surrounding her. She was singing in her native tongue what sounded to me like a folksong, but as I passed she stopped singing and commented on how hot it was and offered me a bottle of cold water. Assuming that she was selling the water and probably for an exorbitant price, I smiled, declined, and hurried on. A few minutes later Mr. J, lagging behind me because he had been taking pictures, encountered the woman and stopped, engaged her in conversation, and took the water offered. He tried to pay her for it but she refused any recompense and sent him on his way with warm wishes for a good day.

Since it really was a hot, humid day, and not having any water with me I could have used the cold water the woman offered, but like the 1,090 people who refused to stop and listen to Joshua Bell, I refused the refreshment because of my prejudices and assumptions.

I'm working on it! Every moment is new and we will never know what wonderful things are being offered to us if we look at the present moment through eyes of the past.

Happy Pioneer Day!

Here in Utah it's Pioneer Day which is a state holiday that commemorates the day Brigham Young entered the valley and proclaimed, "This is the right place." At this very moment a huge parade is going on in Salt Lake City, but not being a parade fan I'm here in my air conditioned house enjoying the day.

But for me Pioneer Day isn't just about Utah history, it's an important day in our family history. Forty-three years ago today D2 was born and about two hours before she was born Mr. J received his draft notice telling him that in ten days he was to report to Fort Lewis for basic training. Because of that draft notice I walked into the hospital crying (make that bawling!). When the nurse saw me she said reproachfully, "It can't be that bad!"

"My husband just got drafted," I answered between sobs.

She jumped from her seat at the nurses station, ran around the desk, threw her arms around me, and said, "It's that bad." Less than an hour later D2 was born.

I thought life had ended. It was Vietnam and a cousin I was very close to had been killed in the war and all I could picture was myself a widow with two babies to care for. I went through some terrible times of doubting God and cursing life--creating unnecessary pain for myself. But as it turned out Mr. J was stationed in Germany instead of Vietnam and we got to go with him. I still look back on that year in Germany as one of the most fun and exciting years of my life.

I only wish that I knew then what I know now about Living in Truth. I would have been spared a lot of pain and suffering. That's one of the reasons I love Pioneer Day so much--because it helps me remember that "Everything is as it should be" and that if I (like the early pioneers) just trust in God everything works out fine.

PS - One of the things we are going to do to celebrate Pie-o-neer day is eat Pie. If you've seen the movie "17 Miracles," you'll understand more.