Out of the Pit We Can Influence Others

The best way to influence others
is to be on target ourselves.

On the last day of Education Week, an anonymous woman left a note on the podium in the classroom where I was teaching. By that time in the class we had defined Truth, discussed Unnecessary and Necessary Pain and introduced the Truth Tools. The note explained that the woman had been distraught about her marriage and that most of the classes she had been attending were marriage classes. Earlier in the day she had been trying to decide between two classes, both on marriage and thoughts such as, “They’ll just tell me to go see a marriage counselor, but my husband won’t go,” or “They’ll talk about having family prayer and scripture study and my husband won’t do that,” and “It’s my husband that really needs these classes, but he won’t come,” kept running through her head until she felt utterly hopeless.

Thoroughly vexed and consumed with self-pity she was unable to decide which class to go to and so she sat down under a tree. As she sat she recognized she was in the Pit of Illusion and decided to try what I had taught her and so she Anchor herself to get rid of the negative feelings. She explained how she felt the grass brushing against her leg and smelled the fresh air and everything else she experienced as she Anchored and then in big letters she wrote, “IT WORKED! Not only did the bad feelings go away, but I was suddenly filled with hope, a feeling I have not felt in a long, long time.”

There are several points in her story that illustrate the value of Living in Truth, but the one I want to point out is that her misery--Unnecessary Pain--was caused because she was consumed with what her husband SHOULD be doing. None of us can change another person. We can only change ourselves. When we Live in Truth we concentrate on what we can do to change and grow and let God worry about everyone else. The surprising thing is that when we change, miracles often happen. When we change people can’t interact with us in the same old ways. Pushing our buttons doesn't work anymore and so they have to change their tactics. In addition, our example of being happier often inspires and motivates them. They want the peace and joy they see in us.