Love Languages

We all start life out desiring to be loved and desiring to love others. Because of those desires you'd think that love would abound in this world, but it doesn't.Things go wrong and people don't love. Or, what is sadder, people love but the love doesn't communicate to the loved one.

One of the problems is that we all experience love differently. Naturally when we love someone and want them to know it we express our love in the same way we feel loved. But if the way we feel loved isn't the same way they feel loved, the love doesn't communicate and the person goes through life feeling unloved.

Dr. Gary Chapman explains that there are five "love languages" and that when we want to express love we need to express it in the other person's language. He has a wonderful web site that explains the five love languages and has a short quiz so you can determine what your love language is. You can find his site here.

These five love languages are (1) affirming words, (2) physical touch, (3) gifts, (4) sharing quality time, and (5) acts of service. When working with our spouse or children if we don't know their love language, we can use all five languages and through trial and error discover which love language communicates best to them. The import thing is to learn how to communicate the love we feel so that it is felt by the people we love.

Love Languages

A long time ago I wrote about love languages. For those of you who haven’t heard of them click here and it will take you to an explanation. 

Understanding the love language of the people close to us is important, but the exciting thing to me is that I’ve come to understand that God knows my love language.  In 2 Nephi 31:3 we are taught that “the Lord God giveth light unto the understanding; for he speaketh unto men according to their language, unto their understanding.” That doesn’t just mean that He speaks to me in English and someone from Mexico in Spanish. It also means He speaks to me through the things I know about and study, through the things I see and do every day, and He speaks to me through my love language which is gifts.

I know that sounds very materialistic, and for a long time I wouldn’t admit that to anyone, but it is true. I feel loved when people give something to me. It doesn’t have to be anything big or costly or even a material object. I love the gift of a smile! And the gifts mean the most to me when they come from the givers heart. I remember speaking once when a woman came up afterward, hugged me, and with tears in her eyes took a bracelet off her wrist and said, “I want to share something with you now.” It wasn’t an expensive bracelet, but oh the meaning it has for me. I still have that bracelet and look at it often with fond memories. I think that is why gifts are my love language—whenever I see them again all the feelings of love come back to me.

But I’m getting side tracked. What I really wanted to say is that daily God sends me gifts that confirm His love for me. This morning He set a special one. I arrived at work about 6:15 in the morning, opened my car door, climbed out, locked the car, and when I looked up there was a small deer about ten feet in front of me watching me get out of the car. He (or she) stared at me for a moment as if to say, “Good morning, Sherrie!” and then bounded off, and to my surprise two more deer came out of the shadows and followed him down the dark road. I’m still smiling and feeling the warm-fuzzies from that special gift!

But this isn’t just about me. Identify your love language and then pay close attention. I guarantee you that God is sending you love every day through your love language.