Remembering!

The people who have given me such wonderful memories!

On Mother's Day I was overcome with a flood of memories of all the good times I've experienced as a mother. My mind floated through the years and landed on sock wars, Family Home Evening pantomimes, camping trips, dancing in the rain, playing machines, picnics at Mueller Park, story telling, and especially moments when I snuggled my toddlers close and listened to them giggle. I was in tears most of the afternoon as all these thoughts and many others danced in my mind.

Then on Monday I received a gift in the mail from D6. She had taken some of our old VHS family movies and converted them to DVDs. It was the best gift I've ever been given and as I watched three hours of home video so many more memories came dancing into my head. My head is a family tango! But the best part is how thinking about all these wonderful things has made me feel.

Too often in the past I've been guilty of remember the worst of the past instead of the best. But I'm here to tell you that by forgetting the worst and dwelling on the best it makes every moment of life richer and happier, and it infuses hope into the soul. After all, the past is over and we can't do anything about it so why stew over it? Instead relish every good thing from the past and watch how it enhances the present and the future.

There is power in doing this!!!!

Mothers Love

 Then came there two women, that were harlots, unto the king, and stood before him.

And the one woman said, O my lord, I and this woman dwell in one house; and I was delivered of a child with her in the house.

And it came to pass the third day after that I was delivered, that this woman was delivered also: and we were together; there was no stranger with us in the house, save we two in the house.

And this woman’s child died in the night; because she overlaid it.

And she arose at midnight, and took my son from beside me, while thine handmaid slept, and laid it in her bosom, and laid her dead child in my bosom.

And when I rose in the morning to give my child suck, behold, it was dead: but when I had considered it in the morning, behold, it was not my son, which I did bear.

And the other woman said, Nay; but the living is my son, and the dead is thy son. And this said, No; but the dead is thy son, and the living is my son. Thus they spake before the king.

Then said the king, The one saith, This is my son that liveth, and thy son is the dead: and the other saith, Nay; but thy son is the dead, and my son is the living.

And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king.

And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other.

Then spake the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the other said, Let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it.

Then the king answered and said, Give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she is the mother thereof. (1 Kings 3:16-27)

Live in Truth and enjoy mother's day.  

It is a celebration of mothering!

The Day After Mother's Day

Our Mother’s Day program at Church every year is fantastic. They have all the graduating seniors speak about their mothers and they do it with humor and a refreshing lack of sentimentality. It is my favorite Church meeting of the whole year. Yesterday there were eleven young people and so each had only a few minutes. This means that no one had time to read sappy poems or stories. They simply told what they liked about their mothers in honest ways. One young man was especially delightful. He said he began to prepare by listing his mother’s good traits, but the list was getting so long he decided to list her bad traits. He then listed four very minor (but hilarious!) faults and then said that’s all he could think of.

Yesterday, as I listened I was struck by the fact that I know all eleven of the women being talked about fairly well. They are all very, very different. Yet every single young person declared their love for their mother and said that their mother was the very best.

As women we too often judge ourselves by what others are doing. We think we aren’t good enough mothers, and that we ought to be more like other women. But if these kids are right (and I think they are!) we just need to be ourselves. We are the best mother for our children, and they are the best children for us. After all, mothering isn't all about us being supreme commanders. Motherhood is a learning experience and my children taught me much more than I ever taught them.

Picture: http:billarnold.typepad.com > Portraits

Judges in Israel

One of the books of the Old Testament is called the Book of Judges and is a history of fifteen people who were called judges in Israel. These judges were not at all like what we picture a judge to be. You and I hear the word judge and we think of someone in a black robe sitting at a bench listening to disputes or legal trials, determining who is right and who is wrong, and then giving out a punishment. But instead of sitting in judgment over the people, the Old Testament judges were more accurately people who brought about judgment by being vindicators of the people. They were special deliverers, sent by God to free the Israelites from oppression. They were champions.

One of these fifteen judges was the prophetess Deborah. Deborah, whose story is told in Judges 4-5, was the only one of the judges to be called a prophet and the only one that was a woman. The word Deborah means “bee” and anciently it was believed that, of all the animal kingdom, the bee ranked highest in intelligence. It has been said of Deborah that she “made honey but knew when and how to sting.”
Deborah lived when the Caananites oppressed Israel and as she says in the Psalm of Deborah, “I arose a mother in Israel” (Judges 5:7) to save Israel. According to the Oxford English Dictionary a mother is “A person, quality, institution, place, etc., that produces, protects, nurtures, or sustains people, ideas, etc.” We don’t know if Deborah had children or not, but she protected, nurtured, and sustained the house of Israel and was a mother.

In our modern world mothers are sometimes disparaged, but when we realize that a mother is not just someone who bears children, we realize that as women we have the responsibility to do all we can to protect the House of Israel against all that is evil. Like Deborah of old, we should nurture wherever we are and in whatever we do. We should promote the ways of righteousness and produce goodness in our daily endeavors. We are judges—champions—of Israel!

Mothers in Israel

One of the judges who reigned in Israel was a woman named Deborah. Besides being the judge she led the armies of Israel into a battle in which they succeeded in defeating their enemies. In the book of Judges chapter five we find Deborah’s song, a beautiful poem about her and the battle, but the line I like best is in verse seven when it says “I arose a mother in Israel.”

We are never told if Deborah had children or not. As a matter of fact some scholars debate whether she was married or not. In Judges 4:4 we are introduced to Deborah with these words, “And Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, she judged Israel at the time.” Since the words wife and woman in Hebrew are exactly the same and the word lapidoth means “shine or flame,” and is never again found in the Bible as a name, the phrase could have been translated as “a woman of flame” which could have been a metaphor for a sanctified or righteous or outstanding woman.

Which ever, it is interesting that while a judge and a general, Deborah identifies herself a mother in Israel, but what we see her mothering is not children—she mothers the house of Israel. I think there is a message in there for all women--that we are to mother (nurture and care for) God’s children whether we have children of our own or not. In God’s plan all righteous women are mothers. It is a title of respect and honor and as we reach out to nurture and care for others in whatever capacity we are in, we like Deborah, arise as mothers in Israel.

Memories of Rain

Christmas time overwhelms me with memories. There is something about it that causes me to think about all the Christmases past and all kinds of other memories. This morning I was thinking about one of my favorite mothering moments.

Late one night after all the kids were in bed and asleep it started to rain and I don’t mean just a sprinkle. Water poured down in great streams. I watched through the window for a few minutes as I started to get ready for bed. Light coming from the street lamp on the corner shined magically through the cascading rain and reflected in the large puddles forming on the lawn.

Suddenly, without giving it much thought, I woke up the children and marched them out into the rain. In our pajamas, we lifted our faces to accept the water's caress. We opened our mouths and drank in the heavenly water. We danced, we ran in circles, we splashed, we played airplanes, we laughed, we sang, we joined hands and played ring-around-the-rosies, falling into the puddles and feeling the tickle of wet grass against our cheeks.

Hearing the laughter Carl joined us and we played until everyone was soaked to the skin. Then we went inside, changed into dry pajamas, blew hair dry, and drank hot chocolate while still giggling. It was way past bed time and that wasn't the only family rule broken, but none of that really mattered. I can't remember if we were on time for scripture study the next morning or even on time for school. I don't remember any burden from washing all those pajamas and towels. All I remember is the love and joy I felt for my children and for my Heavenly Father as we danced in the rain.

Looking back on my days of mothering, the only regret I now have is that I worried too much about things such as bed time and laundry. I wish I had spent more time dancing in the rain.

Building Our Children's Strengths

Before I leave the subject of building on strengths, I have to say one more thing. One of the best things to do for your children is identify their strengths and help them develop in those areas. A lot of problems can be avoided if we know our children’s strengths and then encourage them. Too often we push them in directions of our own strengths thinking that this is what makes us happy so of course it will make them happy also. But that isn’t always true.
One of my daughters is a nurse–something I never could have been. It has been a delight to watch her develop in the medical field. She loves medicine and loves caring and helping others. Right now she is a full time mom, but when the time is right, she will return to nursing because it is one of her strengths and she loves it. I shudder to think of what would have happened if I had dissuaded her or insisted she follow a course I would have prescribed.
On the same web site as I wrote about last time, www.authentichappiness.com, there is a test for children to take so that parents can know what their children’s strengths are and then help them develop in those areas. It is very interesting to see how different each of your children are and to more fully recognize their individuality. It is also interesting to see how when you taylor your parenting to the child’s strengths special bonding moments occur. You enter their realm and build on a foundation that is already in place. I don’t have words to express all that happens, but when you help your children develop into their own selves instead of trying to make them into a little “you,” it brings a joy and dimension to parenting that is extremely rewarding
Take the test yourself. Give the test to your children and let me know what you think!