Truth Tool - Music

Music is a powerful Truth Tool, but when I first bring it up as a Tool most people think only about listening to music. Granted, that does work. Listening to music soothes the soul and can change moods. But there are other ways to use the Truth Tool of music.

When our children were growing up we had a rule that might surprise you. Rule: You can fight and quarrel all you want as log as you sing it.

It was amazing for more than one reason. First of all when they began to quarrel I didn't need to enter the fracas by being referee. Instead all I'd do  is say, "Sing it girls." Second, it only takes a moment to discover that when a person sings their angry thoughts they end up laughing. It works every time. You can't stay angry and sing.

But there are other ways this Tool works. Let's say you go out in the morning to leave for work, you are running late and in a hurry, but your car won't start. You have a dead battery. The vexing feelings begin to rise in you and at that point instead of swearing, you sing your negative thoughts. And, yes, you begin to laugh. Once you are calmed down and laughing your mind clears and you begin to solve the problem without the vexing, negative emotions causing you Unnecessary Pain.

I'll talk tomorrow about the listening part of this Truth Tool, but for now, sing your way through your day and watch what happens.

A Lesson From Swedish Fish

Yesterday my daughter, Mariah, made me the best birthday dinner. She went to a lot of trouble and made all my favorite things. Kirsha and Meleah helped in the preparation and everyone (within driving distance!) gathered at Mariah's house. There were twenty four of us and we had a wonderful evening together.

I knew we would be gathering and so I saved everyone's Valentine's for the party and after dinner I gave them out. My four-year-old grandson, George, got one of the boxes of Swedish Fish and was very excited, but a few minutes later he was having a terrible tantrum. I went in to see what was the matter and his mother was just getting him calmed down enough to tell her. Between great sobs we finally heard, "Adults aren't supposed to eat the fish." Sitting on the couch was the culprit, his father who had innocently eaten ONE of the Swedish Fish.

I couldn't help but chuckle, but I wasn't laughing at George or his father or Swedish Fish. Instead I was thinking about all the times I've brought that kind of tantrum-inspired pain upon myself because I didn't think what happened should have happened.

When watching a child have a tantrum it is so easy to identify how absurd it all is. But we as adults do the same thing. We have our own tantrums and cause ourselves so much pain for the most inconsequential things even though we are old enough to know better. I'm going to store this memory up and remind myself often that most of the things I get upset about don't really matter at all! But most important, I'm going to remember what George taught me;

"Adults aren't supposed to eat the fish (make that Should Sharks!)."

A Little More Affirmation

It is obvious how the Truth Tools help us drop the Unnecessary Pain in our lives. The Tools change how we think, and thus we let go of the thought that is causing us Pain and move on. But the Truth Tools are also very effective for helping us deal with Necessary Pain.

For example, yesterday we talked about the Truth Tool Affirmation and how it helps us both avoid and rid ourselves of Unnecessary Pain. But Affirmation also strengthens and encourages us so that we can pass through the Necessary Pain of life valiantly.

When dealing with Necessary Pain the power comes not from Affirming your own strength, but from Affirming the strength of God. Paul said it best, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13). Other Affirmations that help us endure the Necessary Pain of life are: "I have a Savior who strengthens me," "Yoked with the Savior I can endure anything." Again, just saying these words with conviction strengthens and empowers.

There are many ways to word Affirmations, but the important thing is to acknowledge that there is a strength beyond our own supporting and helping us. That is the most powerful Affirmation there is.

Truth Tool - Affirmation

One of the ways to keep ourselves out of the Pit of Illusion and to avoid vexation is to use a Truth Tool called Affirmation.

But to understand how to use Affirmation we need to first understand a little about how the mind works. The mind does not compute the command “don’t.” When we tell ourselves things like, “Don’t hurt!” or “Don’t eat that!” or “Don’t hold this grudge!” it doesn’t work because the mind only calculates “do.” Try imagining not eating that donut. Just my mentioning this made you see yourself eating the donut. You may have imagined setting it down after a bit, but you first imagine eating it. You simply can’t imagine not doing something. A wise friend once told me never to say to a newly licensed, teenage driver as she backs out of the driveway, “Don’t hit the mailbox” because as soon as you say it, the mental picture of hitting the mailbox pops into her head, and the next thing you know a dented car hovers over a fallen mailbox while you try to console the hysterical driver.

So as we try to redirect our behavior or to overcome negative feelings, the most important thing we can do is replace the negative thought with a positive, Affirming, thought. “I eat healthy foods.” “I feel good.” “I forgive him.” As we come to understand this principle we realize that our negative and positive thoughts and feelings are powerful. But the most important thing to realize is that when given enough time, the positives will always have power over the negatives. The prime example of that is the Atonement, the most positive event of all time which will eventually overcome all negatives. But remember, positive encouragement takes time. A forceful, manipulative, negative approach to get someone to do what you want them to do may intimidate them into doing it faster, but it will always generate negative feelings in the other person that can fester and cause more problems—usually worse problems. On the other hand, a positive, loving approach may take more time, but it will last and generate positive feelings in the other person and in yourself.

Keeping your self-talk Affirming and positive can help you conquer and avoid Unnecessary Pain, and being Affirmative with others can strengthen relationships.You don't have to take my word for it. Right now say out loud, "I can't do this." Repeat it several times and notice how you feel inside. Now repeat out loud, "I can do this!" Say it several times and stop to notice how you feel inside. Just saying the words without even thinking about something you are doing creates a different feeling inside you. The Affirmative words, "I can do this!" make you feel good and confident--they encourage you.

So when negative words about yourself or others creep into your head, use the Truth Tool, Affirmation, and quickly turn the negative into positive.

Cows and Cuds

Rumination is a fun word to say. Say it out loud and see how it rumbles around in your mouth as it tickles your tongue with soft vibrations and finally exists your mouth in a slow swishhhh.

The word ruminate comes from the Latin ruminari which means “to chew the cud.” In other words, a cow ruminates. Or to put it more graphically, the cow regurgitates a cud, which is food it has already swallowed that has been semi-digested into a cud, and then it chews on it—again. Sounds pretty disgusting, but before that disgusting scrunched look on your face goes away think about how much ruminating you do. Yes, YOU! People ruminate, but instead of a wad of regurgitated grass in our mouths, we ruminate with regurgitated words in our heads. This is what storytelling is all about.

Besides meaning “to chew again what has been chewed slightly and swallowed” the word ruminate also means “to go over in the mind repeatedly.” The problem with rumination is that it is usually regurgitated negative stories that we tell ourselves over and over again. “I can’t do anything right.” Or ,“My parents shouldn't have mistreated me.” Or, “I’m not a very good parent.” or "My neighbors shouldn't be so messy," or "My spouse should appreciate me more." I don’t need to list more, you get the idea.

Rumination is terrible when we tell ourselves stories based on lies like these. But the Good News! is that unlike cows, we don’t have to ruminate. When the old stories, the word cud, begins to regurgitate we can spit it out and refuse to chew on it. The best way to do that is to replace the old cud with something new. For example when the old cud, “I can’t do anything right,” comes up, you spit it out and instead chew on the idea, “I made a mistake, but I’ve learned from that and it won’t happen again.” That thought tastes a lot better, and it will lead you on to brighter and more delicious things.

Negative Storytelling only generates Unnecessary Pain and accomplishes nothing good. So spit out the story and Live in Truth.

Shooting Down the Should Sharks

We have season tickets to a local theater and love going to the plays with some friends. For years I've called this couple before the run of the play, determined when we could all go together, and then made our reservation. But the other day I got a text from them saying they had made their reservation for the next play and if we wanted to come with them this was the time they were going. Well, the time was a weekday matinee when Mr. J works and so we couldn't go. As I read the message I began to feel the vexation rising in me. "They know Mr. J works and can't go at that time. They shouldn't have done that. They must be trying to get out of going with us. That was rude after all these years that I've taken the time to include and even do the reserving for them. They must not want to be friends with us anymore." (Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera! You get the idea!)

As those Should Sharks began to swim through my mind, I realized what I was doing and that it would not accomplish one single good thing. All those Should Sharks would do is cause me pain, and so I changed the story I was telling myself to, "Since they are both retired they must have forgotten that Mr. J is still working. They just didn't think about it. And even if they did think about it and don't want to go to the plays with us anymore, then I don't want to be hanging on to our relationship if they no longer enjoy our company. Everything is fine."

Granted, this is a small, inconsequential problem, but it illustrates how we create meaning out of the things that happen to us. Something happens and we begin to tell ourselves a story. The simple Truth is that they reserved tickets at a time we couldn't go. Why? I have no idea, and by making up a negative story I cause myself Unnecessary Pain. All I have to do is deal with the simple Truth. In this case I decided to live with it, and reserved our tickets at a time we could go. No pain. No vexation. No Should Sharks because I invented no story. (Or at least I didn't cling to the story I had begun to tell myself!)

More On Vexing

The Vexed Man by Franz Xaver Messerschmidt

Almost everyone I've ever asked has had a similar thought come to them at one point in their life or another. It's about color, and the thought is that when you and I are looking at what is to me the color red do we see the same thing or is what you call blue red to me?

It is a strange thought, but one most of us contemplate and for a good reason. What the question is really about is, "Do we all experience the same reality?" Even if we all see the same red, the answer to the underlying question is a resounding, "NO!" We do not all experience the same reality. Each of us interprets and gives meaning to the things around us and that is what creates our reality.

So what does this have to do with vexation?

When we realize we are creating the reality we also realize we can change it. At first it is difficult because we are used to thinking that vexation is imposed upon us by the circumstances in our lives. But vexation isn't imposed it is created by the way we think about our circumstances. For example the vexing thought, "She is driving me crazy!" is an interpretation that is really, "I'm letting her drive me crazy!" The thought, "He shouldn't do that!" when analyzed in Truth becomes, "He did that so now what do I do? Fix it or live with it?"

Thus the first step to ridding ourselves of Unnecessary Pain is to admit that we are causing it, and then rejoicing in the fact that if we are causing it we also have the power to stop it.

Avoid the Should Sharks

As in all things Jesus Christ is our example. He shows us how to Live in Truth and in many instances His example is so profound it brings me to my tears. One of those experiences occurs the night the Savior was taken from the Garden of Gethsemane and tried for being the Son of God. 

Living in Truth means that we deal with the Truth or verity of what confronts us and not with what we think should be happening or what should not be happening. Trying to deal with what should be is like boxing with an invisible opponent. You can swing, curse, kick, jab, and punch, but you are never going to hit anything.

So what has this to do with the night the Savior was tried? That night the Lord went to the Garden to pray and asked three of His closest friends and associates, Peter, James, and John, to watch with Him. Then he walked away, knelt, and prayed. When He returned to His friends instead of watching, they had fallen asleep. Shortly after that a mob of hundreds of soldiers and other men approached and another friend, one of His apostles, betrayed Him with, of all things, a kiss. About this time most of us would have been deep in the Pit of Illusion with thoughts such as, "Peter, James, and John shouldn't be asleep. They should have done what I asked. They are supposed to be helping me." And later, "Judas shouldn't betray me. He's supposed to support and help me. And especially he shouldn't betray me with a token of affection." And beyond that, "These men shouldn't be accusing me of crimes I didn't commit.  Here I am trying to save their eternal lives and they want me dead! They shouldn't be doing this."

If at any time in the history of mankind, should and shouldn't thinking was warranted it was that night. But Jesus never sank into the Pit of Illusion with this kind of thinking. Instead He stayed with the reality or verity of what was happening, and dealt with the Truth. And what is happening? Peter in an impetuous attempt to defend the Savior has cut off the ear of a servant of the High Priest. Not burdened by what should be or what should not be, not worried about Himself or what is about to happen, the Savior sees the need of another and reaches out and compassionately heals the man.

The reason we fall into the Pit of Illusion is because we let what I call the Should Sharks take over our lives. The Savior never did that. He always Lived in Truth. He dealt with verity--the Truth. Likewise we eliminate a great deal of pain--all the Unnecessary Pain--from our lives when we stop letting the Should Sharks prey on us and instead deal with the simple Truth.

Albert Einstein once said, 

"A man should look for what is, 

and not for what he thinks should be" 

That is great advice.

The Pit of Illusion

As we've talked about the last few days, Living in Truth means living with what is, what was or what will be, or in other words accepting the verities of life. The opposite is living in Illusion which is living with what is not, or in other words expecting life to be different than what it is. When we live in Illusion it always feels like we’ve falled into a Pit and thus I call it the Pit of Illusion. That deep, dark Pit has some symptoms that we should all be aware of because recognizing them helps us know we are inflicting Unnecessary Pain upon ourselves. Remember, it is always possible to get out of the Pit and out of the pain. Falling into the Pit is a choice and therefore climbing out is also a choice. Therefore, the symptoms of the Pit are like a fever, they warn us that something needs to be done to cure the symptoms and change the course we are on.

Here are the symptoms:

(     1) When in the Pit of Illusion there is no light. I’m not talking about visible light, but we feel darkness and all the negative, vexing feelings that go along with heavy, depressing darkness.

(     2) When we are in the Pit we feel alone and separate from everyone around us. We feel friendless and unloved.

(     3) When we are in the Pit negative emotions overwhelm us so that we feel helpless. It seems that nothing we do will help.

(     4) When we are in the Pit we feel like God has abandoned us. The truth is that God always dwells and is found in Truth, therefore we are the ones who have removed ourselves from God. He is the God of Truth and so when we are in the Pit it makes it very difficult to hear and feel the promptings of His Spirit.

When we feel any or all of these symptoms it is time to examine what we are thinking and ask ourselves, "Is this true?" If the answer to that question is yes then we have two choices, "Fix it, or Live with it." If the answer is no, then all we have to do to eliminate the Unnecessary Pain is drop the thought. Remember, there is always a way out of the Pit of Illusion!

The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

Before we can discuss how to avoid Unnecessary Pain we need to discuss Truth.

When we read the word Truth in scripture most of us think it is referring to the principles and doctrines taught in the scriptures. But the definition of Truth we find in the scriptures is,

“Truth is knowledge of things as they are, 

and as they were, 

and as they are to come” 

(D&C 93:24). 

This is similar to the Merriam-Webster On-line Dictionary which defines Truth as:

(1) The state of being the case. 

(2) The body of real things, events, and facts.

 (3) A transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality. 

Synonyms are: fact, verity, actuality, reality. 

Certainly the principles of the gospel fit this definition; they are what is, was and will be. They are the “body of real things, events, and facts.” But “the state of being the case” in this mortal world also means that war, accidents, death, disease, disappointment, distress, fear, natural disasters and so many other negative things are the truth. They are reality.

Living in Truth, then, means living the principles of the gospel and accepting the fact that in this telestial world there are going to be thorns, thistles, and weeds. Death, disease, accidents, and wars, are going to occur. People are going to say and do things you don’t like. Things are going to happen to you that hurt. That is what is. That is the Truth.

Whenever we are faced with Truth, we have two choices. We can fix it or live with it. If there is something we can do to fix it, we should. We can pull up the weeds or cut off the thorns or we can live with them. If we start to feel victimized because there are weeds in our lives, if we start to think that those weeds shouldn’t be there, we are fighting against Truth and when you fight against Truth you always lose. Thus whenever you find yourself saying things like, “She shouldn’t have said that to me,” or “He should be more considerate of my feelings,” you have left the realm of Truth. When we think about what has happened—the Truth—in terms of should or shouldn’t have we are no longer dealing in Truth--we are dealing with illusion. Remember the truth is what happened—the verity or reality. That reality is what we have to deal with, not what should have happened, and when we stick to the Truth amazing changes happen in our lives.

That's what Living in Truth is all about.

Unnecessary Pain

I had a neighbor once who left the Church because her father, who was in his 70's, died. She said to me one day, "How can I believe in a God who would take a father away from a daughter who needs him?" But more than just leaving her faith, this woman suffered measurably because of the death of her father. She was distraught. She suffered depression. She became bitter which estranged her from friends and others close to her. It was a terrible thing to watch happen especially when I could see how simple it would be for her to be out of the pain she was causing herself. She was suffering Unnecessary Pain.

Unnecessary Pain is self-inflicted and comes from four sources:
1.Misuse of agency.
        Our own hearts will tell us what we should do concerning right and wrong, and if we go against what our heart tells us our conscience is pricked and we will suffer guilt and usually much greater pain. As much as some people try, none of us can go against our own conscience is telling us to do and feel good.
2. Fighting against the truth of a telestial world.
        Whenever we fight against the reality or verity of a telestial world we experience Unnecessary Pain. This is what my neighbor experienced. Death is a part of a telestial world. Everyone will eventually experience it. Whether it comes early or late there is nothing we can do about it and so when we get angry or depressed or vexed in any way about it we only cause ourselves pain.  Anytime we find ourselves thinking things like: “This shouldn’t be happening to me. I shouldn't have fallen and broken my arm. He shouldn’t have done that to me. She should have said that to me. Why is God doing this or allowing this?” We are creating Unnecessary Pain.
3. Trying to avoid Necessary Pain.
         Whenever we try to avoid the Necessary Pain we will experience Unnecessary Pain. Learning to walk (or learning anything!) required a certain amount of Necessary Pain. But if we refuse to learn and continue to crawl around on all fours we are only going to create pain, but it is Unnecessary Pain because it could be avoided by simply passing through the Necessary Pain of learning. Spiritual growth, physical growth, intellectual growth all require a certain  amount of pain, but if we try to avoid it we cause ourselves more pain and this pain is unnecessary. There is a great irony here. We are in pain either way, but the Unnecessary Pain accomplishes nothing.
4. Denying Christ.
         How do we do that? By feeling like we have to do it all ourselves. By feeling like we can never be forgiven no matter how sincerely we have repented. By comparing ourselves to others and trying to be like them instead of discovering what God wants us to do and be. By thinking we’ll never be good enough. In short, by not trusting that Jesus Christ will do what He has said He will do for us. He has promised to recompense us for every and any injustice we have ever experienced and to pay the price for all our sins and mistakes. What more could we ask for?

All we have to do to get rid of Unnecessary Pain 

is to let go of it. 

It is that easy!

Necessary Pain

I made it through the day yesterday without cutting open any more fingers, but Mr. J is suffering from a cold. In the 45 years we have been married this is only about the fifth cold he has ever had so he isn't used to this sickness thing. But I'm proud of him, he is handling it like a man. I hope you suffered no pain yesterday, but if you did I hope you also endured it well because there are blessings that come from enduring Necessary Pain well.

Necessary Pain is caused by:
(1) Natural events that occur in a telestial world.
          In a telestial world there is disease, accidents, and all kinds of natural disasters and  conditions that cause pain. If you fall and break your leg there will be pain, and once it has happened there is nothing you can do about it  except endure the pain well.
(2) Spiritual growth always entails necessary pain.
          The process of spiritual growth is called in the scriptures being "born again." Birth entails pain.  In addition, as we grow spiritually, the Spirit often pushes us right out of our comfort zone and into situations that are uncomfortable and stressful. But all of this pain helps us to grow closer to our Father in Heaven.
(3) Often when others misuse their agency it causes us pain.
          We sorrow over loved ones who have strayed. Some people are hurt when a drunk driver hits them or some are hurt by attackers. In time of war, innocent people always suffer, but once the pain is inflicted there is nothing we can do but pass through it.
(4) Repentance requires pain.
          There is a certain amount of sorrow for our sins and heartfelt anguish that the scriptures describe as having a "broken heart and contrite spirit" that must be endured if we are going to repent.

Hundreds of books have been written on why God let's us suffer pain, but they almost all boil down to two thoughts; pain can bring us closer to God, and it makes us grow stronger. But the most important thing to understand is that Jesus Christ has promised to help us through any and all Necessary Pain that we encounter in life. We never go through Necessary Pain alone unless we turn our back on God, and usually it is in those times of pain that we feel God's presence most powerfully in our lives.

Pain!

Yesterday, while cleaning up after dinner, I grabbed the blade to my food processor to wash it and sliced my index finger open. It bled profusely and caused me pain. As a matter of fact with every key I type it throbs again.

I'm not alone in this. Pain is something every one of you can relate to because we've all experienced pain, sometimes small pains like a sliced finger and other times large pains like giving birth to a child or passing kidney stones. While we would all like to live pain free and in constant pleasure, because we live in a telestial world that is not going to happen. We are going to experience pain and there isn't much we can do about it. As Lehi explained to his son Jacob, "It must needs be that there is an opposition in all things" (2 Nephi 2:11), and part of that opposition is pain.

But what most of us don't realize is that there are two kinds of pain, Necessary Pain because once we have cut our finger or broken our bone there is no alternative than to bear the pain until we heal, and  Unnecessary Pain which is completely avoidable. For the next few days we'll discuss Necessary Pain and give you more insights about Unnecessary Pain and how to avoid it. 

For now, as you go about your day and experience physical, emotional, or psychological pain--any kind of pain--stop and ask yourself if what you are experiencing is Necessary Pain or Unnecessary Pain. Tomorrow we'll see if you were able to identify the difference.

In the mean time, I really hope you have a pain free day!

Oh, The Mistakes I've Made!

I have made and continue to make a lot of mistakes in my life. The older I grow the more it seems that the things I have done wrong in my life come back to haunt me. The other day while working in the kitchen the thought suddenly came into my head of a time when I was in high school when I snubbed a girl. At this point I can't even remember why, but it probably had something to do with fearing my own reputation. As the experience came back to me, it hurt. I wished with all my heart I hadn't avoided the girl who needed a friend; and now--fifty years later--there isn't a thing I can do about it. But there is Someone who can make it up to the girl and heal me.

Living in Truth has taught me that this kind of sorrow is not a negative experience, even if it is painful. Instead it is a healing process and an important one to pass through if we are going to grow closer to our Father in Heaven.

Coming to the point where we realize that we NEED a Savior to make amends for all our mistakes is essential. The important thing is that we pass through the sorrow without becoming depressed and dismayed. The adversary will try to divert us into a path of self-pity with thoughts such as, "I am so terrible! I am never going to make it. I've done so many horrible things. I am awful." You can recognize this kind of misguided thinking because of the preponderance of "I's" in the statements. It is unnecessary pain and is actually selfish thinking.

But sorrow that is part of Living in Truth and spiritual progression is all about the others we have hurt. We sorrow for them, not for ourselves, and wish we had never hurt them. This kind of sorrow is necessary pain that leads us to Christ. It happens when we remember that one of the most beautiful aspects of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is that we have the privilege of learning from our mistakes without being condemned by them.

Time To Rejoice!

I have been surprised the last few days by people complaining about Christmas. Even at church! Here we are with a chance to celebrate the most amazing event in the history of mankind, the birth of a Savior, (that means someone who saves!) and instead some people are complaining about retailers ruining Christmas, and others are saying things like "I just can't get excited about Christmas because of all the terrible things happening in the world."

Wow! How I love Living in Truth! I'm living in the same world they are and I'm not miserable, I'm rejoicing.

The truth is retailers need to make a profit and will do whatever they can to make it. The truth is that I can choose to let that bother me or not. Why let it? That's not only unnecessary pain, but why let commercialism ruin the celebration of the most amazing event of all time?

Retailers aren't ruining my Christmas. I love the tinsel, the lights, the music, the traditions, and wouldn't mind if they kept it up all year round. If every time we saw a Christmas decoration or heard a Christmas song or even when we saw an advertisement inviting us to buy a gift for someone, we thought about the joyous event it celebrates instead of choosing to grumpily think that it ruins Christmas, maybe we'd have a happier, better world.

Materialism can only affect you if you let it into your heart. And as to the state of the world? That's why we need a Savior. That's why He came. That's why I'm rejoicing! He is the solution to all the problems; a Savior who will heal and make everything right.

So rejoice with me! Enjoy every precious moment. It's Christmas time!

Missing the Morning By Mourning

A friend just stopped by to visit. Dressed in black she stepped into my foyer with a garumph and announced she was dressed in mourning because of the election. I sensed from her countenance that she was not trying to be comical and swallowed back the laugh tickling inside me. As she talked on I realized her pain was from more than just the election and was very grateful I hadn’t laughed. She was hurting, and I felt sorry for her.

But as she left I remembered the years when things like elections and daily problems and children and adversity sent me into mourning and was so grateful I’ve learned how to at least minimize the Unnecessary Pain of life even if I haven’t yet mastered escaping it all together. My heart broke for my friend because of the pain she is in, but the sadder fact is that she doesn’t need to be in pain. It is Unnecessary Pain. The sun is shining outside in the midst of a perfectly azure sky. Days don’t come more beautiful than this one, but full of black mourning my friend walked out my door totally unaware that the sun was shining on her.

Necessary Pain

When we are Living in Truth we jettison all Unnecessary Pain, but we can still expect to encounter Necessary Pain. Necessary Pain will always be part of a mortal world. But unlike Unnecessary Pain, when we encounter Necessary Pain and endure it well there are actually benefits and blessings that come to us. Research has shown that strong emotional events such as a death of a close friend or family member, a child who does something wrong, or even life events that also have a positive side to them such as sending a child away to serve a mission while painful can lead to deeper self-awareness and to spiritual and physical well-being if we endure them well.

None of us go through life without stress, loss, or sadness. Those are Necessary Pains in life. But if we turn to the Savior in prayer and scripture study, patiently wait to be healed, and accept what’s happened, we learn more about ourselves and about life.

We all know that when we’re experiencing Necessary Pain, it feels like it will never end. But the Savior uses time to help us heal so that we again begin to feel the happiness in life. When we experience this it becomes for us the greatest miracle the Savior has ever performed.

Getting to Pain Free

I've been going to physical therapy for some problems in my back and have been amazed at what I am learning. The therapist contorts my body in very painful ways to get the bones into the position they should be, but the muscles have been pulling in wrong directions for so long that while I'm working hard to keep my bones in the right places the muscles pull in the way they have for months--in wrong directions. What a battle I'm having with my muscles.

But this isn't so different than when we decide we are going to Live in Truth. We use the Truth Tools and learn all we can and practice, but the old habits of thinking pull us in wrong directions.

Part of what I'm learning is that any progress in life is going to require work and patience and diligence. But the work is worth it!

BYU Education Week Day 4

I hope you are enjoying Education Week. Besides the wonderful feelings generated by all these people, the setting here at BYU is one of my favorite in the whole world. Y Mountain rises majestically just east of the campus and this morning the sunrise was a soft pale pink hovering over the mountain top. The delicate beauty of it sent chills up my spine!

Yesterday went well. The Truth class was full, but the Lewis class on his fiction writing was only about 7/8 full. That could mean I am boring people and so they didn't want to come back to the class or that people aren't as interested in Lewis's fiction as they are his life and his non-fiction or maybe some people are going home early.

Since I Live in Truth and that means I am the storyteller of my life, the one who chooses which story to tell myself (After all, the truth is that there is no way to know for sure why there were less people!), I am choosing to think that people aren't as interested in Lewis's fiction.

There. I am at peace. No vexation. I am happy and life moves on. See how simple it is! It is such a change from the way I used to live when I would have vexed for days because I was sure I had bored people. So much Unnecessary Pain! I love Living in Truth!

Happy Pioneer Day!

Here in Utah it's Pioneer Day which is a state holiday that commemorates the day Brigham Young entered the valley and proclaimed, "This is the right place." At this very moment a huge parade is going on in Salt Lake City, but not being a parade fan I'm here in my air conditioned house enjoying the day.

But for me Pioneer Day isn't just about Utah history, it's an important day in our family history. Forty-three years ago today D2 was born and about two hours before she was born Mr. J received his draft notice telling him that in ten days he was to report to Fort Lewis for basic training. Because of that draft notice I walked into the hospital crying (make that bawling!). When the nurse saw me she said reproachfully, "It can't be that bad!"

"My husband just got drafted," I answered between sobs.

She jumped from her seat at the nurses station, ran around the desk, threw her arms around me, and said, "It's that bad." Less than an hour later D2 was born.

I thought life had ended. It was Vietnam and a cousin I was very close to had been killed in the war and all I could picture was myself a widow with two babies to care for. I went through some terrible times of doubting God and cursing life--creating unnecessary pain for myself. But as it turned out Mr. J was stationed in Germany instead of Vietnam and we got to go with him. I still look back on that year in Germany as one of the most fun and exciting years of my life.

I only wish that I knew then what I know now about Living in Truth. I would have been spared a lot of pain and suffering. That's one of the reasons I love Pioneer Day so much--because it helps me remember that "Everything is as it should be" and that if I (like the early pioneers) just trust in God everything works out fine.

PS - One of the things we are going to do to celebrate Pie-o-neer day is eat Pie. If you've seen the movie "17 Miracles," you'll understand more.