I don't know if it's the mother in me or the subject I teach or if all teachers feel this way, but I get so attached to my students and when the semester ends I hate to see them go. It honestly hurts. It is especially bad because I know I will never see most of them again and won't even know what happens to them. Will they apply the things we talked about all semester and have successful, happy lives or will they reject the message of the gospel and suffer?
I love these students, and being older I've watched people grow and know what happens when they reject the message of the gospel or become prideful and think they have a better, easier way. It never works. I want so much for all of my students to be happy. But even as the semester ends I watch a few of them make wrong choices and it breaks my heart.
There are always a few who are more concerned with their grade point average than they are their eternal salvation. These students will lie, cheat, and harass me in attempts to get more points than they deserve. I'm thankful these students are a very, small minority, but it still hurts me to watch them throw out everything we have talked about during the semester in an attempt to change a grade.
But their subtle tactics and methods also make me look at my life more carefully to see if I am being honest and upright. The adversary works in very sneaky ways. I can tell by talking to some of these students that they have convinced themselves of their own lies. They blame me for their grades and refuse to be accountable for their own lack of performance. Are there any areas of my life that I do that? It is a crucial question for all of us to ask because it is impossible to repent and take advantage of the Atonement if we deny there is a problem.
But there is one more important thing I've learned from this experience. Perhaps this hurt I feel for my students who try to cheat their way to good grades is a taste of what the Savior feels when we refuse to take responsibility for our own actions and feelings and blame others for our mistakes. I can almost hear Him saying, "All you have to do is repent and I'll take care of it. Don't try to cover it or justify it or deny what you have done. Just repent. I gave my live so that I could help you. Please let me."
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This is a former student from one of your second semester Book of Mormon classes (Winter 2011). I thought I would chime in and say that I still read your blog! :) In fact I started a kind of spiritually minded blog of my own, partly because there aren't enough like this one. You are an inspiration!
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