It's All About Love

Today in my New Testament class we discussed the three epistles of John, known in the New Testament as 1 John, 2 John, and 3 John. 1 John is one of my all time favorite chapters of scripture for two reasons. The first is that it is all about Living in Truth. For example, "The darkness is past, and the true light now shineth" (1 John 2:8). In my own words, when you are Living in Truth the bad things of the past are over, you don't need to think about or dwell on them, and today the true light shines. If you step out of the dark past, you are walking in light. The best part is that you can step out of that dark past anytime you want and the light is waiting for you.

The second thing I love about 1 John is that it is all about love. I never read this without feeling that some unseen power has risen from the page, wrapped arms around me and is hugging me tightly while whispering reassuring words of comfort in my ear. Verses like, "Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God" (1 John 4:7). and "We have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him" (1 John 4:16), and "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love" (1 John 4:18).

If you are every feeling discouraged, down, dismayed, depressed or any other negative feelings read 1 John 1-5 and let the words wrap you in love.

There Is Help

I don't know if it's the mother in me or the subject I teach or if all teachers feel this way, but I get so attached to my students and when the semester ends I hate to see them go. It honestly hurts. It is especially bad because I know I will never see most of them again and won't even know what happens to them. Will they apply the things we talked about all semester and have successful, happy lives or will they reject the message of the gospel and suffer?

I love these students, and being older I've watched people grow and know what happens when they reject the message of the gospel or become prideful and think they have a better, easier way. It never works. I want so much for all of my students to be happy. But even as the semester ends I watch a few of them make wrong choices and it breaks my heart.

There are always a few who are more concerned with their grade point average than they are their eternal salvation. These students will lie, cheat, and harass me in attempts to get more points than they deserve. I'm thankful these students are a very, small minority, but it still hurts me to watch them throw out everything we have talked about during the semester in an attempt to change a grade.

But their subtle tactics and methods also make me look at my life more carefully to see if I am being honest and upright. The adversary works in very sneaky ways. I can tell by talking to some of these students that they have convinced themselves of their own lies. They blame me for their grades and refuse to be accountable for their own lack of performance. Are there any areas of my life that I do that? It is a crucial question for all of us to ask because it is impossible to repent and take advantage of the Atonement if we deny there is a problem.

But there is one more important thing I've learned from this experience. Perhaps this hurt I feel for my students who try to cheat their way to good grades is a taste of what the Savior feels when we refuse to take responsibility for our own actions and feelings and blame others for our mistakes. I can almost hear Him saying, "All you have to do is repent and I'll take care of it. Don't try to cover it or justify it or deny what you have done. Just repent. I gave my live so that I could help you. Please let me."

Charity

The Good News! of Jesus Christ teaches us that we should have charity.   "But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. (Moroni 7:47). The advice is very good but since we call groups that are organized to help others "charitable" organizations we sometimes confuse the meaning of the word. We think charity means giving to the poor. But charity is a way of living.

If we look at the history of the word we find that its root is the word dearness. If people are dear to us, we do for them what is best for them. And that brings us back to the pure love of Christ. He does for us what is best for us. Sometimes that means chastizing or reprimanding, but most of the time it means blessing and healing and helping.

BYU Education Week Day One

The first day of BYU Education Week has gone well. I taught my class on Faith Works By Words and met some wonderful people. That is what keeps me coming back to teach at Education Week. Just walking around campus with all these amazing people lifts and encourages. I wish I could transmit the feeling to you, but hopefully by talking about it and you reading about it you can feel it. But remember WORDS are powerful.

If you read this and think the words, "Poor me. I can't be there,"then the words will create negative feelings that destroy faith and instill depression and dismay.

But if you read this and think, "At least I get to hear about it, and I can imagine how it is," then you will have almost the same experience I am having. The WORDS you use make all the difference in the world.

So use your imagination and think about what it is like to be among thousands of believing, faith seeking, wonderful people. Feel the aura that exists, the love that emanates from them. Enjoy the sounds of people greeting each other with kindness and every where you go people making new friendships. It is a little taste of heaven.

Open the Door

Last week a friend shared with me an experience that I learned a lot from and so I thought I'd share it with you. About twenty years ago my friend was going through a trying experience with a child and eventually the child married outside the temple. I won’t go into all the details, but my friend was very hurt and experienced all the feelings we go through in situations like this—feelings of self-doubt and failure and worry for the child. She became depressed over the things that were happening and felt very alone and abandoned by those around her, she prayed that someone would reach out to her, someone who she could confide in and someone who would help her though the ordeal, but instead of comforting her people seemed to avoid her. She described it as one of the worst times of her life. But it turned out well. Eventually she pulled out of the depression, and the couple was sealed in the temple. They now have seven beautiful children and are doing well.


Now for the learning part. Last week my friend went to lunch with a woman who was a close friend of hers before and during those trying years. During the lunch the woman brought up that long ago wedding and explained that while she was well over it now, but she had been very hurt that she had not been invited to the wedding, especially when she found out that someone who wasn’t as close of a friend had been invited. She then said that she was also hurt that my friend had pulled away from her during that time.

My friend said she was so shocked she couldn’t respond. First of all the person invited was not invited because she was a friend but because she was the child's employer. She was the only non-family member invited to the wedding. She also remembered the prayers, the nights she cried herself to sleep, how she had yearned for someone she could talk to, someone who would assure her and comfort her through the experience. And here was a person who could have done that, but instead she had taken offense because she wasn’t invited to the wedding.

“As she explained her feelings,” my friend said, “I realized I must have appeared to pull away from her and others. Part of the reason I didn’t get the comfort I needed was my own fault. At the time, I felt ashamed and afraid to reach out for fear of others’ reactions. But the thing that stunned me most as she explained all of this is that she never once reached out to me. Since that conversation with her, I’ve looked back on my own life and wondered how many times when someone needed me I turned away because of some petty offence or because I felt them pulling away. I wish I’d learned this sooner, but I now realize that often when people appear to close the door to us is the very time we need to knock and let ourselves in.”

Loving and Living

Our English word to love is related to the Teutonic word which means “to live.” Some old writings explore the idea that the two words are related because love is the dispenser of life. 

When we stop to think about it there are some profound thoughts behind that statement. Every life should begin from an act of love. The problem today is that many lives begin from an act of lust instead of love. After birth love should be the instruction for life, and when a child is born into such a home all sorts of goodness ensues.

However, not everyone has such a privilege. But by Living in Truth and promoting love, the pure love that is called charity, where ever we are and in whatever we are doing we nurture life. When we love and care for others we love and care for life itself.

Love Languages

We all start life out desiring to be loved and desiring to love others. Because of those desires you'd think that love would abound in this world, but it doesn't.Things go wrong and people don't love. Or, what is sadder, people love but the love doesn't communicate to the loved one.

One of the problems is that we all experience love differently. Naturally when we love someone and want them to know it we express our love in the same way we feel loved. But if the way we feel loved isn't the same way they feel loved, the love doesn't communicate and the person goes through life feeling unloved.

Dr. Gary Chapman explains that there are five "love languages" and that when we want to express love we need to express it in the other person's language. He has a wonderful web site that explains the five love languages and has a short quiz so you can determine what your love language is. You can find his site here.

These five love languages are (1) affirming words, (2) physical touch, (3) gifts, (4) sharing quality time, and (5) acts of service. When working with our spouse or children if we don't know their love language, we can use all five languages and through trial and error discover which love language communicates best to them. The import thing is to learn how to communicate the love we feel so that it is felt by the people we love.

Happiness How To

Sonja Lyubormirsky, who is a leading researcher in the field of happiness, did a study that showed that people who complete five acts of kindness in a given day were happier than people who did not consciously try to perform acts of kindness that day. The most interesting thing, however, is that the group that did the five acts of kindness were happier not only that day, but the good feelings lasted for several days after the experiment was over.

To a good Christian this seems like a given.It's nice that research is substantiating what we already intuitively know. After all, doing acts of kindness is what the gospel is all about, but sometimes our lives get so busy and so scheduled that we need to remind ourselves of how important it is to look for ways and then minister kindnes. As we then renew our efforts to do good things for others we make them happy, but we also make ourselves happy.

Maundy Thursday is Fast Approaching

Easter is coming! My favorite holiday! This year it falls on Sunday, April 8th—jus tunder two weeks away. While there are many fun traditions associated with Easter that are carried out in our culture such as dying eggs and hiding baskets that symbolically teach us about the reason we celebrate Easter, there are many other traditions that few people know about that can give our Easter celebrations more meaning. One of these is Maundy Thursday.

Maundy Thursday falls on the Thursday before Easter. It is also known in some places as Holy Thursday, Covenant Thursday, or the Thursday of Mysteries. But I like the term Maundy Thursday best because Maundy comes from the Latin word mandatum which means “command” and refers to the commandment Jesus gave on the last Thursday of His life: “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34). The old command had been to “Love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:39), but His last commandment set a new standard--love others as He loved.

Traditionally, in certain parts of the world, on Maundy Thursday a Maundy Ceremony is performed where people wash the feet of the poor in commemoration of Jesus washing the feet of His apostles and instructing them to serve others, which also took place on Maundy Thursday. Over the years the traditions of how to serve others changed from washing feet to the giving of Maundy Money to the poor. However it is celebrated, Maundy Thursday is about following the Savior’s example of serving others and giving of oneself with love.

So as Maundy Thursday approaches (April 5th) if you don’t already celebrate the day as part of your commemoration of the Atonement and Resurrection of the Savior, it could add to the meaning of your Easter to start a Maundy Thursday tradition of your own. You don’t have to wash feet or give money, but serve others in any way you can and see how it enhances your Easter celebration.

Listen. Learn. Laugh. Love.

I’ve been very busy the last few days and I’ve missed you.

On Friday and Saturday I attended a wonderful conference

that lasted all day both days, and I learned so much.

 It was wonderful.

It is delightfully surprising to me that when I learn anything new

I suddenly find that thing every place I turn.

For example, I learn a new vocabulary word and for the next few days

 I hear it or read it all over the place.

Well in this conference that had nothing to do with Living in Truth

 I found several things that I loved about Living in Truth.

In one of the breakout sessions a man was talking about a woman

who had influenced his life

and he said that she once told him that whatever you encounter in life

 you need to listen to it to make sure you understand,

learn all you can from it,

laugh at yourself in it,

 and love it.

That pretty well sums up what it takes to Live in Truth!

So I’m sharing today the Four Ls:

Listen. Learn. Laugh. Love.

The Benefits

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to Live in Truth and I find myself making a long list as I go through my day. When you Live in Truth you live in gratitude which brings a love for and appreciation of all the things around you. Living in Truth brings a contentment and peace. It brings a joy that comes from the Spirit because when you Live in Truth, you live where the Spirit is. 

These are just a few of the many things that come from Living in Truth that I’ve thought of today, but each day brings new discoveries about the blessings that come from Living in Truth. What things have you discovered about Living in Truth?

Retaining Warmth

I love winter because it is cuddly. I love wrapping up in a blanket in front of a fire and watching the flames lap at the bricks, or snuggling into bed with a good book learning from someone else’s life, or snuggling up with Mr. J to watch a good movie. None of that is appealing in summer, but in winter it is magic.

I’ve always loved this cuddly part of winter, but this week I learned something from it. After I slipped out of the cold bedroom air and into the cool sheets of my bed I waited for the warm to seep out of the down comforter and wrap me in its deliciousness. But as I waited it dawned on me that the comforter wasn’t what warmed me. As a matter of fact, the comforter was cold. It didn’t give me warmth; instead it captured and then reflected my own body heat.

This made me think about other things in life. For example, too often we subconsciously think that other people are there to love us or meet our needs or feed our self-esteem. But other people are like blankets; they reflect back the love we give to them. Therefore, if we are feeling unloved, or unwanted, or unappreciated, the answer is to love, want, and appreciate those around us more and then it will come back to us. Love rebounds and reflects to warm just like my comforter.

Glad Tidings

Find cross stitch here

This morning I was reading this:

 “And thou shalt declare glad tidings,

yea, publish it upon the mountains,

and upon every high place,

 and among every people

that thou shalt be permitted to see”

(D&C 19:29).

That was an invitation I cannot resist. So, I’m going to declare glad tidings all day long.

Glad tidings are good news.

Glad tidings are the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Glad tidings are hope and love and all those things are possible because of Jesus Christ.

I’m glad for those tidings.

My heart is singing. I don’t have a musical voice, but my heart is bursting with song.

My heart sings loud and true and clear and right now it is singing glad tidings of great joy.

The world is in chaos, but I have a Savior who will put things right.

 That is the best of good tidings.

I made mistakes and encounter fear and sorrow, but He will succor me through the dark days.

That is the wonder of the good tidings.

Every note of my heart-song is full of rejoicing.

I hope you can hear it, because angels carry the songs of rejoicing to whoever is listening.

Are you listening?

Glad tidings are in the air.

A Tale of Two Foxes

As you know by now, I love folktales. This one is an old Appalachian folktale that beautifully illustrates the blessings of Living in Truth and what we become when we live in Truth.

There once were two foxes who lived in a plentiful wood. One fox was tall and slim and the other shorter and stouter, but they were such good friends that the other beasts of the woods teased them and gossiped about them. Besides the teasing and gossip the foxes daily heard and saw much quarreling and aggravation from everyone around them. One day after watching two squirrels fighting over an acorn the taller fox said to the shorter, “Maybe we should be like everyone else and then they wouldn't tease us and gossip so much.”

“Yes,” said the shorter fox. “Maybe they know something we don’t. Maybe we should see why such a life is so pleasing to so many.”

“Then let’s try fussing and fighting so we will be like the others.”

“But how do we do it?” asked the shorter fox.

“I’ve seen the animals bite each other,” said the taller fox.

“But that would hurt and you are my friend. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You are right,” said the taller fox. “Maybe we could argue about something and that would make us angry like it does the squirrels fighting over the acorns.”

“That wouldn’t hurt as much,” said the shorter fox. “But how do we do it?”

“Like this,” said the taller fox, and picking up two large sticks he shouted, “These are my sticks. You can’t have them.”

“If they are your sticks, Brother Fox, I don’t want them. I would never deprive you of something you wanted that much.”

“We are not getting anywhere,” said the taller fox.

“No, but maybe I can help. I’ve heard the bears say this and it caused a great turmoil.” And then the short fox growled as loud as a fox can growl and shouted, “These woods are mine and there is not room for both of us here.”

Startled the tall fox looked at his friend and said, “I like you. You are my friend. And I like this wood very much, but if you want to be the only fox in the wood then I will go. I will find another wood.”

The short fox looked startled, “You will go? But I don’t want you to go. You are my friend.”

“And you are my friend. I am happy you don’t really want me to go. I will stay.”

For a long moment the two sat silently. Finally the taller fox smiled, “Brother Fox, I don’t know why the others like this fussing and quarreling. It takes too much work."

“Yes,” agreed the shorter fox, “Let us be what we are and leave them to be what they are.”

And so they remained friends and were never again tempted to be like the others.

Learning About The Atonement In Japan

Last week after I posted my experience with learning something more about the Atonement, I received a beautiful letter from Yoko who has given me permission to share some of it with you. She began by explaining that she had attended my class on Living in Truth at BYU Education Week in August, and then said, “Your lecture on "Living in Truth" helped me greatly. I wish I had known about this concept earlier, but I can say "Living in Truth" has reduced my vexation by at least half.”

She then went on to explain that she was visiting her homeland in Sendai, Japan, last March when the great earthquake hit. She described the unbelievable devastation and deprivation that ensued and how everyone was suffering. She stayed and did all she could for a couple of weeks, but then had to return home to the United States where she continued to follow the news.

While at home she felt that even though she is 60 years old, she had to go back and help, so she returned and on the day she arrived another 7.0 earthquake hit and she worried that she would not be able to get to Sendai. She had taken a helmet, boots, gloves, food and everything she would need to sustain herself and to help others, but she couldn’t get into help unless she belonged to an organization. She contacted many organizations but while waiting to be accepted she visited the ward she lived in when she was baptized many years ago and discovered that the ward was headquarters for the relief effort. There she was finally given an assignment. But instead of being asked to do physical work at devastated areas, she was asked to give grief counseling. After a brief class where she was taught how to give hand massages with aroma oils as a tool to let people talk, she went to work.

I’ll let you read her words for the rest. “We visited people at many evacuation centers at different cities on the coast. My job was to listen to whatever the people wanted to say about themselves and their experiences of the quake and tsunami. All the people who were at evacuation centers lost everything including their homes and every belonging that they worked hard for. They were there with only clothes on their backs. Some people lost family members. I have never seen or heard so much grief and sorrow in my life. I gave them aroma massages and some of them really opened their hearts to me and told me how they lost their loved ones. One old lady told me that she lost everything plus her daughter-in-law. She and her 50 year old son were at the evacuation center and she said, ‘My son goes outside and cries every night.’ She told me her son, his wife and the wife's friend were running from the tsunami holding hands but somehow their hands were separated and only her son survived. I gave her extra long massage.”

“I loved her hands and couldn't let them go for a long time. I listened to so many people and their profound sorrows. I only could say to them in my heart while I was touching their hands, ‘You might not know Him but He knows you and your sorrow. He is touching you through my hands right now.’ I felt so much love for them. I knew it was His love for them. One other thing I want to tell you. At the end of three days doing this, my whole body was filled with so many emotions, grief, and sorrow. I felt I couldn't listen to one more person. I felt like my head was going to explode if I had to listen to one more. But I thought, ‘I came all the way from America, I can’t quit after only three days.’ I prayed for the strength and somehow kept going. But it was hard. Then the thought came to me that Jesus Christ had to suffer for who knows how many people, not only for sins but he felt people's sorrow, grief, all other feelings and emotions in Gethsemane. Sister Johnson, I felt like I was allowed to peek at the magnitude of His suffering at Gethsemane. My love and appreciation for Jesus Christ increased because of my experiences in Japan. It was real.”

Thank you, Yoko, for sharing. The Atonement is real. It is love, and you were part of that love.

Love Lasts Forever

Yesterday was my parent's sixty-fifth wedding anniversary. The only problem is that Mom had to celebrate it alone because Dad left this earth a few years back. I knew Mom would be hurting and so I called her to see how she was holding up.

"It's a bitter sweet day," she said. "I'm thankful for the many years we had together, and I know his death wasn't an end but only an interruption--we will be together for eternity--but right now it's lonely withou him."

Then, as she has every year on their anniversary, she told me about the day they were married. They were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple by her grandfather, the president of the temple. "It was a grey, drizzly day," she said. "But Grandfather told us that what starts in a storm ends in sunshine." And that's the truth.

The room they were married in was later removed and an elevator installed in that space. My dad used to joke that their marriage had been going up and down ever since.

But it mainly went up! And now as I watch Mom anticipate being with Dad again, I am awed by the blessings of eternity made possible by an Atonement, priesthood authority, and the gospel of Jesus Christ. Because of these things families can continue to go up and up and up--even though in mortality there are a few down days! That's the Good News!--Love lasts forever.

The Atonement

Years ago when my Church calling was to write lesson manuals for the Church, I wrote several lessons on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and I thought I knew what the Atonement was all about. But since I’ve been teaching religion at BYU I’ve come to realize that I didn't know much at all and that I’m only now beginning to  understand it. It is much broader and grander than I ever realized before.

For example, yesterday I found out that one of my students had lost his mother to a heart attack last year while he was on his mission. As he told me about what had happened my heart ached for him, and as I left him I couldn’t get his image out of my mind. But it wasn’t the image of him telling me what had happened. It wasn't an image of sadness. Instead it was the picture of him sitting in my class happy and at peace and listening as we discussed the gospel—the picture of what I knew about him before I knew of the sorrow he had passed through.

As I was seeing this image of him, the thought came to me that without the Atonement he would never be able to recover from his mother’s death. Without the Atonement every sin would sink us deeper into darkness and despair with no hope of escape. Without the Atonement any tragedy or adversity such as death would be doom and gloom with no chance of recovery. Without the Atonement life would be a constant state of entropy with no possibility of growth or change--a state of constant regression into outer darkness. Without the Atonement happiness would be an unreachable, unattainable fiction.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ is not just about paying for our sins. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is about making happiness, joy, growth, learning, love, and everything good possible. In short, the Atonement is our only hope. 

I am so grateful for it.

Love Languages

A long time ago I wrote about love languages. For those of you who haven’t heard of them click here and it will take you to an explanation. 

Understanding the love language of the people close to us is important, but the exciting thing to me is that I’ve come to understand that God knows my love language.  In 2 Nephi 31:3 we are taught that “the Lord God giveth light unto the understanding; for he speaketh unto men according to their language, unto their understanding.” That doesn’t just mean that He speaks to me in English and someone from Mexico in Spanish. It also means He speaks to me through the things I know about and study, through the things I see and do every day, and He speaks to me through my love language which is gifts.

I know that sounds very materialistic, and for a long time I wouldn’t admit that to anyone, but it is true. I feel loved when people give something to me. It doesn’t have to be anything big or costly or even a material object. I love the gift of a smile! And the gifts mean the most to me when they come from the givers heart. I remember speaking once when a woman came up afterward, hugged me, and with tears in her eyes took a bracelet off her wrist and said, “I want to share something with you now.” It wasn’t an expensive bracelet, but oh the meaning it has for me. I still have that bracelet and look at it often with fond memories. I think that is why gifts are my love language—whenever I see them again all the feelings of love come back to me.

But I’m getting side tracked. What I really wanted to say is that daily God sends me gifts that confirm His love for me. This morning He set a special one. I arrived at work about 6:15 in the morning, opened my car door, climbed out, locked the car, and when I looked up there was a small deer about ten feet in front of me watching me get out of the car. He (or she) stared at me for a moment as if to say, “Good morning, Sherrie!” and then bounded off, and to my surprise two more deer came out of the shadows and followed him down the dark road. I’m still smiling and feeling the warm-fuzzies from that special gift!

But this isn’t just about me. Identify your love language and then pay close attention. I guarantee you that God is sending you love every day through your love language.