Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Words vs. Heart

I’ve heard people who are going through trials complain about the things people say to them. But I’ve learned that it isn’t the words people say, it’s the heart they say it with. It doesn’t matter if the words are trite or even insensitive. Most people just want to help and they are helping in the best way they know how. That is what counts. So I listen with my heart to what their heart is trying to say and I am edified.

If I were to complain or criticize or condemn their efforts, I would take on a poisonous negative energy. The people making the remarks wouldn’t hurt me, but I would hurt myself because of my reaction to what they say.

We aren’t all gifted with silver tongues that say just the right thing at the right time. We don’t all have the same perspective on life that allows us to know exactly what should be said. But we all have a heart that wants to love, and what we should recognize is that others are only trying to help—no matter what they say or do!

16 comments:

Wendi said...

I'm thankful for your kind and understanding heart. I will put your name on the prayer roll when I go today. :)

papa and cilla said...

That is such profound wisdom that you wrote. I love it.

Anita said...

I love this thought - it's a great point! One night I was at the fabric store behind a woman checking out who was going through chemo and had lost her hair, and the clerk was talking to her about her grandmother that had had cancer. When the lady asked the clerk how the grandma was doing, she said that she had died. It was such a downer that I butted into the conversation to tell them about my mother-in-law who was a cancer survivor and while going through chemo decided to have as much fun as she could with scarves, hats, and dangly earrings since she couldn't style her hair anymore. There is power in positive thinking!!

Laresa said...

This reminds me a little bit of Elder Oaks talk on Unselfish service he gave in conference. Each of us have an attitude when we go to church or people speak to us. When we say "I was offended" or "I didn't learn anything." Those are all self-centered thoughts and they retard our spiritual growth. (those were Elder Oaks words) It reminded me of your post and when people speak to us. You said it so well, as you always do, listen to their hearts. Thank you again!

SMJ said...

Wendi, Thank you! I appreciate your love and concern.

SMJ said...

"Papa" and "Cilla" Thank you! And thanks for your visit. It means a lot to me.

SMJ said...

Anita, Good for you! It is good to make good! Keep it up!

SMJ said...

Laresa, Thank YOU again! Are you getting eager to see your son?

Anonymous said...

How wise you are! I have been on both sides of that problem. I've had people make comments, I'm sure well intended, that left me a bit bewildered. I've also, too often, been the one who just wants the person to know how much I value them and have genuine concern for their situation. Unfortunately, many times I'm at a total loss how to say it or I say something well intended, only to reflect back and realize I shouldn't have said what I did because of the negative way it could be taken. The thing to remember is even those of us with our feet in our mouth, have genuine concern and love for our friends and pray for the day we can express it in a way that is helpful and comforting. Thank you for being the understanding person you are. Just know that you are loved and valued more than words can ever say and that you will not go through this all by yourself, your friends and family are with you all the way.
Cathie xoxoxoxo

Debbie Feller said...

Dear Sherrie, I have found this to be so true in my life...people just want the best for you...even if they're not sure how to express it. People's love & support is such a comfort & help!!! You remain in our thoguhts & prayers!!!
Much Love, Debbie

De & Matt said...

you are such an inspiration <3 you are in my thoughts and prayers
-DeAnna

Jenn said...

So true, Addy (my baby) is on oxygen and also has a feeding tube, and when people see her for the first time they frequently ask, "Whats wrong with her?" At at first my reaction was, "Nothing, shes perfect, whats wrong with you?" But I realize they all meant well and were just trying to extend a hand!! I think its just one more way Satan tries to cloud our minds during trying times...... Jenn
ps. I also have a blog at thegatherumfamily.blogspot.com

SMJ said...

Cathy, Thank you for your comments and for your love, support, and prayers. It is so true. If we refused to take offense at the way others try to show concern there would be a lot more love in the world.

SMJ said...

De Anna, Thank you so much!!!

SMJ said...

Debbie, Thank you so much. Your faith and prayers mean a lot to me!

SMJ said...

Jenn, It is so true. What is wrong? is often just someone's way of trying to start a conversation so they can then offer love and concern. Thanks for sharing your blog. I'll take a look!