The night before my craniotomy last December, I was given a beautiful blessing in which I was told that I would eventually be made completely whole but that I needed to be patient. Four or five times in that blessing I was reminded that patience was very important. So after the surgery when the healing seemed so fast and miraculous, I was puzzled. Many times the thought went through my head, “Why was I admonished to be patient? This took very little patience.” And then a gnawing feeling that the ordeal wasn’t really over would spread through me. Well, now I know why I was told to be patient! As a matter of fact, I am learning all kinds of lessons about patience.
I’ve never been good about patience. Growing up I always searched and found my Christmas presents before Christmas. (I hope Mom doesn’t read this!) In Primary when they had us plant seed of "faith" in a cup and take them home to watch them grow, I'd dig them up every day to see if they were growing. (Needless to say, they didn't!) I loved to read, but I’d make it to about the middle of a novel and then impatiently turn to the end of the book to see what was going to happen. (That ruined the rest of the read.) I’d force a situation by jumping to conclusions too soon or trying to manipulate events. (That over anxiousness always caused more problems than I want to recount.) In short, I’ve never been good about waiting which I now realize is really that I’ve never been good about letting God unfold events in His time. I also now realize that letting God unfold events in His time is what it means to trust Him.
I used to think believing in Christ was the same as trusting Him. But I now know differently. Everything happens for a reason, and by trying to force or manipulate life myself I was refusing to trust. I thought I knew better than God what was best for me! So this time I am determined to be patient. Grizelda is with me again for a reason, and whatever the reason it is important for my growth and development. So my greatest concern right now is that I learn the lessons God wants me to learn. He knows what I need and He loves me. Whatever happens is for my best good. I just need to be patient and trust in Him.