Saturday, May 22, 2010

Filling the Void

One of the first things I learned when trying to overcome negative feelings was that they don’t go away just by telling them to. When the negative feelings overwhelmed me, I knew I didn’t want them and that they were unnecessary pain. I’d tell myself that I shouldn’t be feeling like that and try to make the feelings go away, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t create a vacant empty space or void. Instead I began to realize that the only way to get rid of bad feelings is to replace them with good feelings. That’s when I began to use Truth Tools.

Over time another thing I have learned is that the most powerful of all feelings is love. When I use the Truth Tools to root out negative feelings, the best positive replace the negative feelings is love. For example, if I have negative feelings toward another person it is usually because I am telling a negative story. So I use the Truth Tool Revision or Rewriting and create a new story about the person. I can always tell a story like, “She didn’t realize what she said,” or “She must be having a bad day,” and that can help. It replaces the negative feelings with kindness. But a replacement story that includes love such as, “She is hurting and needs my love,” or “She is my sister and I can love her even when she says or does things I don’t like,” is much more powerful.

The world around us teaches us this same principle. There is no space in which there is absolutely nothing. Even what appears to our eyes to be nothing is full of air. Likewise, trying to create an emotional void only leaves us numb. Instead we can use the Truth Tools to push away negative feelings and then to keep them from coming back, we need to fill in the “space” they vacated with positive feelings.

4 comments:

Barb Elder said...

Love it!

SuSu said...

Amen!

Beverly @ The Buzz said...

Over the past month or so, I have actually been able to recognize when I'm feeling negative about myself and I can inwardly say "stop. we're not going there". It's worked! I am trying to apply it to others now. Regardless of what someone might say or do, I'm going to put the most positive spin on it I can. And then recognize that it's their problem, not mine. Thanks for the insights. They've helped more than you know.

Oh, and the Lauren who won your latest book giveaway? That's my daughter!

Wendi said...

I've noticed the replacement idea works very well with bad habits too. It's hard to just cut something bad out of your life without filling the void with something good.