Free Agents

I was passing a student in the hall the other day and heard him complaining that BYU was taking away his agency. Since we were passing, I didn't hear what precipitated that comment or what followed, but it is a complaint I've heard a lot and I'm sure you have also. As a matter of fact, most of us have thought similar things.

But when we understand agency, we realize that the problem isn't with BYU or the Church or our parents or anyone or anything outside ourselves. The problem is that we don't understand.

A sports metaphor is the best way to explain. When a basketball player is not under contract to any team, he is called a free agent.  He has his agency and can decide to accept or reject any contract offered him. But let's say he signs a contract with the Jazz. Now he is no longer a free agent. He is an agent for the Jazz. This means that he can't suddenly say to himself, "I don't like shooting at that Jazz basket on the south end of the court. The fans down their are distracting me so I can't do my best, and besides I just like going north. I have my agency so I'm going to shoot at the north basket." 
A basketball player understand agency or he doesn't play ball. 

Likewise, we are free agent, but the moment we enter a covenant with the Lord through baptism we are no longer our own agents. We are His. We have entered a "contract" with the Lord that we will serve Him and do His work. We are on His team and are no longer free agents.

What the student didn't understand is that no one can take away our agency, and that once we have used our agency and agreed to a contract or made a covenants or any other agreement with a university or a company or a church that we will obey their rules, we are now their agents and our integrity requires that we either do what we have promised to do or break our covenant.

Thus those of us who are baptized should consider ourselves agents of the Lord.

"I Choose!"

As 2013 begins and many of us recommit to do better and be better a Lehi's words to his son Jacob come to mind: "And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon" (2 Nephi 2:2, emphasis added).

What this says to me is that because we have a Messiah, someone who has saved us from the consequences of evil if we will just let Him, we have the ability to act or to choose what we will do, say, and feel in any given situation. Situations and circumstances do not have the power to act upon us. We have the power to act upon them. Remembering that simple fact is empowering.

So when tempted to be less than you can be, shout out, "I choose good!" and then envision yourself doing whatever good you are contemplating and watch what happens. You have the power to Live in Truth every moment of every day!

The Happiness Choice

Before you read anything else stop and ask yourself the question:

 "What do I need so I can be happier?" 

Think about it carefully, and write your answer down.

 Now you can go on.

Most of us answer the happiness question with something like, a new job, more money, a better boss, more free time, a new home, or a better relationship with my spouse. But all of those things are about life circumstances and research has shown that only 10% of our happiness is determined by circumstances. Another 50% is determined by our happiness set-point which is determined by our genetic make-up and hereditary training. In other words, how our brain is wired and how we have been programed to think by the people who raised us. The most important factor in this research is that 40% of our happiness is determined by our own choices.

Most of the psychologists doing this research claim there is nothing we can do about the 50% and 10%, but that we have total control over the 40%. I disagree. Although it takes a lot of effort, we also have some control over how we react to our circumstances and we can eventually change our set-point. The way that is done is by consistently making choices that make us happy. For example, instead of waking daily and fretting (vexing) over the fact that our house is too small and we need a house in a more affluent neighborhood, we wake each morning grateful to have a house and looking for ways to serve the people around us.

Now look at what you wrote down and decide where it fits in this discussion and determine what you need to really do to be happier.

Yes, it takes mental exertion and work to change attitudes, but it can make all the difference in the world whether we are happy or not. No one can make you happy. Happiness is a choice and only you have the power to choose it.

Is It Good or Is It Bad?

Shakespeare’s Hamlet had his problems, but he said some very profound things that have impacted my life. One of my favorites, because of what it teaches me about Living in Truth, is: “For there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

Put another way, if we think about it we discover that “There is a silver lining to every cloud.” When we find and dwell on (think about) the silver lining we realize that even the bad things that happen to us bring about some good. We have a choice then; we can think about the bad and make ourselves more miserable or we can think about the good and be happy.

In the gospel this principle is expanded upon when the Lord tells us that “All things shall work together for your good” (D&C 90:24; 100:15; and 105:40). Notice it says ALL things not just the good things. “All things” includes everything that happens to us whether we consider those things to be good or bad. So if the Lord is going to make all things good, we can take do the same. We can think until we find the silver lining and then let our thoughts rest there.

But we must also beware, as Hamlet warns, that we are also capable of making good things bad by the way we think about them. Good and bad is a choice and we are the only ones who can make that choice!

All Is Well . . .

Years ago I was doing some research in which I was reading original journals and writings from the early days of the Church. Now I grew up in the Church, and on all lines of my family for five generations they have been members of the Churc,h and I knew about the persecution in Missouri and Illinois and Ohio. But as I read those journasl I was surprised at the atrocities and horrors those early saints encountered and I wondered why those things weren't talked about more.

As I began to review my Church history classes and what I’d learned I realized that most of the persecution was glossed over quickly. The only time I remember details was in the story of the Haun’s Mill Massacre and most of that story centered on the mother who packed her sons blown away hip with ash and how the hip grew back. In other words, even that story was centered on the positive instead of the atrocities that occurred.

Critics of the Church often criticize the Church for not dwelling more on the negative things the Church has done in the past, but as I learned from reading those journals the Church doesn’t just downplay the bad things members have done, they downplay the bad things that have been done to them. Sometimes historians or individual members will dig up the past and try to dwell on it, but the Church mostly downplays anything negative and concentrates on everything positive.

That taught me something. Critics might say we are “sweeping things under the rug” and trying to keep things quiet, but when we compare this behavior to what the Savior teaches we realize that there must be power and strength in concentrating on the good and not dwelling on the bad. Every family, every individual has good and bad within it. But if we follow the example of the Savior and the Church we realize that we can dwell on the negative things that happen to us and cause ourselves unnecessary pain and grief or we can move on and concentrate on the positive things and enjoy peace and happiness. The choice is ours!

Choose Your Life

One of my favorite all time authors, Victor Frankl, wrote a book that I read for the first time many years ago. The book, Man’s Search for Meaning, has impacted my life ever since and the impact grows more beneficial every time I read the book. One of my favorite quotes from the book is: 

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

This simple sentence contains profound wisdom. The adversary does all in his power to convince us that we are what happens to us. But as Frankl knew and as the Good News of the scriptures teaches us, the Truth is that we are what we choose to be.

So today I choose to be happy, optimistic, enthusiastic, and kind. Just writing that makes me feel good all over. The very words have power to lift and encourage me. Say them yourself, out loud, and notice how you feel. 

Now choose your own words about what you want your day to be and then move into your words.  

Have a "GOOD" Day

graphic link

The phrase, "Have a good day" should mean more to us than it usually does. Instead of simply meaning, "Have a day in which only good things happen to you," it should mean, "Have a day in which you only do good."

It is impossible to have such a day without consciously choosing goodness. The default position in this mortal world is badness. Therefore, if a person doesn’t consciously decide to be and do good, badness takes over. In other words, goodness must be worked for if we are to achieve it. No one is going to accidently arrive in the celestial kingdom.

 

The other day one of my daughters told me how she had found that if the night before she makes a list of all the things she is going to do the next day, she achieves so much more than if she just wakes up and does whatever comes to mind in each moment. She was amazed at how planning increased productivity.

It is the same way with goodness. When we plan ahead to be good, look for opportunities to be good, recognize that every moral choice will bring us closer to or farther away from good, surround ourselves with good in order to strengthen ourselves, we will be good. But if we don’t work at it, plan for it, and consciously determine that it is what we want, we will find ourselves swept away in the default.

“I want to be good,” is the first thing we should say in the morning, the last thing we should say at night, and everything in between should remind us that we want good. In that way we overcome the default and rise to new levels of joy and happiness.

Life in the Arcade

Yesterday was Mr. E’s birthday and to celebrate he took twelve friends to the local nickel arcade for a party. Mr J and I went along for the fun and that it was. Each six to seven year old child was given a bag of nickels ($2.50 worth) and allowed to play whatever games they wanted. Watching their reaction was an education.

Some ran as soon as they received their money and began haphazardly putting nickels in the machines. After playing the game they’d excitedly pull out their yellow tickets, hold them aloft like a flag of victory while running to the next game. Within ten minutes their coins were gone and they began begging D5 for more coins or trying to coerce their friends into giving up a few. 

Others clutched their bag of money in their little fists protectively as they wandered the huge room looking at all the options. You’d hear them gasp, “Four nickels! I’m not going to play that game.”

Still others followed the first group around content and happy to watch their overly exuberant friends play and jump around. When it came time to go in for Lazar Tag, they looked at their bag of unused coins in amazement as if thinking, ”Oh, I could have played a game.” But they were happy.

In short, watching the event was like watching a life metaphor come alive. These were first graders and already they had personality traits and habits that are shaping their destinies. It was the perfect example of how life is all about choices not events. We can each experience the same situation, but each of us chooses how we will react to that situation. It is not the situation that shapes us but how we choose to react to the situation.

No Temptation Here!

During one of my Book of Mormon classes on Monday a student asked a question that more of us should ask. She wanted to know how she could make herself do what was right when she really didn’t want to do it. There are times when doing what is wrong seems easier or more fun or much more enjoyable. Her honesty in asking delighted me and I opened the question up to the class for their answers and was delighted all over again.

First I was surprised at the number of hands that went up immediately. But it was their answers that astounded me. They had some wonderful things to say and two of them especially I want to share. One young man said that when he feels tempted to do something wrong and can feel himself wanting to give in to the temptation, he imagines his mother lecturing him and that convinces him to do what is right. No one said this, but I’m not the only one that would be influenced to do what is right just by thinking about the disappointment it would cause my parents if I did what was wrong. That is another motivator.

One of the young women in my class said that when she’s tempted she immediately opens up her scriptures and begins to read. She said she thinks the adversary is tempting her less and less because he’s beginning to realize that if he tempts her she’s going to read scripture and he doesn’t want her to do that.

These young people are amazing! I think they teach me more than I teach them!

(Check back later. I couldn't find a picture I liked for this post and so I'm going to take a picture of that class later today to add to this.)

Faith

In Lectures on Faith we are taught that faith is the first principle of the gospel. In other words all righteousness is built upon faith. Or in more words, faith is the foundation of all that is good. That being true it is so important that we understand faith.

In the scriptures the word faith is used to represent four concepts. (1) Faith is belief. (2) Faith is trust in Jesus Christ. (3) Faith is power. (4) Faith is a belief system [as when someone asks, “Which faith do you belong to?”].

What this means is that when we read the word faith we need to recognize which meaning is intended which in turn means understanding it within the context it is used. When Paul tells us that faith is the “assurance of things hope for, the evidence of things not seen” (JST Heb. 11:1) he is speaking of faith as a belief. But when he says that “Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God” (Heb. 11:3) he is talking about faith as a power. But which concept is intended when Paul says, “Without faith it is impossible to please him [God]”? (Heb. 11:6).

Through the use of our agency we gain faith and with that faith we are empowered to serve God and help in His work. And when we are in the service of our God we find happiness and joy in life.

"Intelligent Use of Agency"

I’m getting ready for BYU Women’s Conference which is being held at the end of the month. The topic I’ve been asked to address is "The Intelligent Use of Agency" and I’m going to be talking about using agency to rid ourselves of unnecessary pain and to get the help we need to see us through the necessary pain. So if I talk a lot about necessary and unnecessary pain in the next couple weeks you’ll know it’s because I’m preparing and am preoccupied with “pain” thoughts.

As I’ve learned about these things I’ve been amazed at how much pain we generate for ourselves. All around me I see examples how the choices people make cause them pain—unnecessary pain. And as I review my own life I can see where I’ve caused myself so much unnecessary pain. Now I understand how getting rid of unnecessary pain is so simple and yet sometimes habit causes me to create or take on unnecessary pain anyway.

I think it is a process. First we have to intellectually learn the concepts, and then it takes time to incorporate the things we have learned into our lives so that they become the habits that direct our lives. Overcoming those old habits is difficult, but it is doable. So I say, “Out with the old and in with the new!” It takes time, but it will happen.

Beauty: A Conscience at Peace

One of the best novels I’ve ever read is a retelling of “Beauty and the Beast,” written by Robin McKinley and titled, Beauty. The story you already know, but the characterization, writing, and wisdom conveyed is extraordinary. One scene especially has stuck with me because of the great lesson it teaches.In the story the father trespasses the estate of the Beast and takes a rose from the Beast’s garden. Because of this transgression, the Beast demands that the father send his daughter to live with the Beast or he can sacrifice his own life. When the father returns and tells his family what has happened his daughter, Beauty, has a choice to make. She can go live with the Beast or she can send her father to his death. The logic of the world would tell us that he was the one that got himself into the mess so he should be the one to suffer.

Beauty, however, feels that she should go, and does what her heart is telling her to do. In telling her story, Beauty repeats the following dialogue that takes place when she first goes to live with the Beast but before she has come to know him.

The Beast says, “'Would it help perhaps if I told you that, had your father returned to me alone, I would have sent him on his way unharmed?'

“'You would?” I said: it was half a shriek, “You mean that I came here for nothing?'

"A shadowy movement like the shaking of a great shaggy head. 'No. Not what you would count as nothing. He would have returned to you, and you would have been glad, but you also would have been ashamed, because you had sent him, as you thought, to his death. Your shame would have grown until you came to hate the sight of your father, because he reminded you of a deed you hated, and hated yourself for. In time it would have ruined your peace and happiness, and at last your mind and heart.'” (Robin McKinley, Beauty [New York: Pocket Books, 1979], 115.)

When we live in Truth and do what our heart and conscience directs, we are free of the vexation the Beast identifies here. We are free to love, to live in peace, to progress, and especially to enjoy life.

When? Is the Question

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how important it is to understand the law of justice in order to help us use our agency correctly. As Abinadi explained to King Noah’s court, “The time shall come when all shall see the salvation of the Lord; when every nation, kindred, tongue, and people shall see eye to eye and shall confess before God that his judgments are just” (Mosiah 1:1). The sooner we realize and accept the fact that our Savior is just, that He will make all things right, the easier it is to use our agency to chose to live in Truth and escape the pain and suffering that occur when we choose to live in Illusion.

But there is something else in this verse that is motivating. In Rom 14:11 we are taught, “As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” This means that at some point all people will realize that Jesus is the Christ and that life was fair. It means that at some point in time all people will accept His teachings. Thus, having agency doesn’t mean you can choose never to learn such things as repentance, forgiveness, honesty, generosity, faith, hope and charity. Everyone will someday accept those things and live them. Having agency doesn’t mean you get to choose if you’ll obey. Having agency means you get to choose when you will obey Jesus—now or later.

How Do You Think?

The beginning of the Book of Mormon is fascinating for many reasons, but one of the things I love most is the way it shows the reasoning that goes behind a decision. Moral agency is a mental power and so whenever we use it we go through a mental process and this process is detailed in the story of Nephi and his brothers.

When Lehi asks his boys to go back to Jerusalem for the plates Laman and Lemuel respond that what their father has asked of them will be hard to do. It isn’t difficult to see that they are basing their decision on selfish thinking—it is too hard. But Nephi responds, “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them” (1 Nephi 3:7). Nephi doesn’t think about self. His reasoning is full of faith in the Lord.

Later after the boys have tried to obtain the plates from Laban and have failed, Laman and Lemuel are murmuring against the Lord and their father and Nephi tries to convince them to continue on in their task. At this point Laman and Lemuel argue, “How is it possible that the Lord will deliver Laban into our hands? Behold, he is a mighty man, and he can command fifty, year, even he can slay fifty; then why not us?” (1 Nephi 3:31). Now we hear Laman and Lemuel’s reasoning take on an element of fear and it is based on the logic of men.

Nephi answers them, “Let us go up again unto Jerusalem, and let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all the earth, then why not mightier than Laban and his fifty, year, or even than his tens of thousands?” (1 Nephi 4:1).

Throughout this account Laman and Lemuel make all their decisions based upon their fear, selfishness, and the logic of man. In contrast Nephi makes all his decisions based on trust in God, faith, and selflessness. In addition, Nephi tells us that when he returns to finish the task he is “led by the Spirit.”

Too often we try to manage and improve our lives by working on behavior. But behavior springs from thoughts and attitudes. If we listen to what we are thinking as we make decisions we can change our thinking so that we always use our agency to choose the right.

You Are Radiating

I changed the Words of Encouragement today. The quote I posted is one of my all time favorite quotes. It came from President David O. Mckay. “There is another responsibility correlated and even coexistent with free agency, which is too infrequently emphasized, and that is the effect not only of a person’s actions but also of his thoughts upon others. Man radiates what he is, and that radiation affects to a greater or lesser degree every person who comes within that radiation.”

We’ve all been in the presence of someone who lifts and encourages us just by being. It isn’t the words they say or the stories they tell. It is something tacit that radiates from them and empowers us. On the other hand, we have all been in the presence of someone who depletes us, sucks power from us, and drains us. This empowering or depleting is the effect of the radiation that President McKay is talking about.

When we consistently use our agency to choose righteousness, we become strong and that radiates to influence others. When we consistently use our agency to choose evil, we become weak and needy and that radiates to influence others. It is a mistake to think that we are just one little person and so what we do or say or think doesn’t matter. We do matter. We influence all those we come in contact with and we add to the righteousness or evil in the world. That is why it is so important to remember what King Benjamin said, “Watch yourselves and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds” (Mosiah 4:30). Our thoughts determine our words and deeds and are the source of what we radiate. If we live in Truth and watch our thoughts and feelings we will radiate goodness and love and will be a powerful influence for good in the world—especially to those around us.

We Are Our Own Best Help

I was reading a book the other day on depression and was struck by something the author said: “The crucial decision to try to help yourself is the key that will allow you to feel better as soon as possible” (David D. Burns, M.D., Feeling Good, p. 23, emphasis in original). If you have been reading Good News! for long you know that I have been reading the self-help literature that is available and comparing it to the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Many of the teachings in the literature are based on solid gospel principles, but some of the things being taught are way off base and could be detrimental to our eternal welfare.

This statement from Dr. Burns is not only right on as a gospel principle, but is foundational to our spiritual growth. It is all about the great gift of agency that God has given us. We live in a world that teaches us that we are pawns beings manipulated by situations, heritage, environment, and chemicals within us. Some of that is true. Those things absolutely do influence us, but we underestimate the power, through our agency, we have to override those influences.

When people are dismayed, discouraged or depressed they tend to wait for a cure—a medicine that will work or a friend or health-care provider that will rescue them and give them the answers to their problems. But the gospel teaches us that we should be “anxiously engaged in a good cause” (D&C 58:27). What better cause than our own mental well-being?

Thus when we are determined to help ourselves, when we acknowledge that we can choose a different course, we begin a chain of feelings and attitudes that heal and strengthen and help us to grow spiritually, emotionally, and physically. The amazing thing is that just by determining that we are going to help ourselves, we open the door for the Spirit to be more active in our lives.

Taking Charge

The other day a friend startled me when she said, “I admire your ability to live in the present.“ The reason the remark surprised me is that living in the present isn’t an ability. It is a choice. Anyone who wants to can live in the present instead of worrying about or wishing for the future or fretting about or desiring to return to the past.

I’ve pondered on her statement a lot since then. So many of us go through life assuming that the way we are is the way we are always going to be. How often have you heard someone say something like, “I’m a person who needs to know. . . “ or “I can’t function without. . . “ or “I have to have everything. . .” You can finish each of these phrases with hundreds of things, but the point is when we think in these kinds of terms we are denying the fact that we have agency and can change. It isn’t that people NEED to know; it is that they like to know and have chosen to like to know. It isn’t that people can’t function without; it is they have chosen not to be able to function without.

The reason some of us cling to these ideas is that we don’t want to change. Change takes effort and it is a lot easier to just say this is the way I am, and make everyone around us deal with it. But in many cases, change would make our lives so much more enjoyable. It would strengthen our relationships. It would bring us closer to the Spirit. It would make life easier. Yet we stubbornly cling to the idea that what we are can’t be changed.

Agency is a great gift, but it does us no good if we don’t use it.

Agency and Others

When we understand agency it opens up whole new vistas of gospel knowledge. As I learned these things, it changed how I parented. I realized that I wasn’t the monitor of right and wrong. That’s the work of the Spirit. I also realized that when I manipulated or coerced or lectured too much I created so much "noise" my children couldn’t hear the Spirit speaking to them. My job wasn't to "pour" knowledge into them, but to create an environment where the Spirit could teach and direct them.
One of my first experiences with this was especially interesting. Breana was always a picky eater and I tried everything I could to make sure she got the proper nutrition. One day we came home a little late from running errands. Quickly I made her a tuna sandwich and then, to encourage her to eat it in time to leave for kindergarten, told her she could have ice cream as soon as it was finished. Then I went to the nursery to put the baby down for a nap.
Seconds later Breana came into the nursery and told me the sandwich was gone and could she have her ice cream. I knew she hadn’t eaten the sandwich, and at this point I would have normally begun to lecture her about honesty, the importance of good nutrition, being obedient, etc. But I had just learned about agency and realized that the light of Christ was working in her own heart and telling her what to do so instead of lecturing, I looked her in the eyes and said, "Breana, you know what is right and you know what is wrong." Then I went back to the baby.
What happened next astounded me. When I lectured, Breana always responded with a corresponding fit. You know how it goes, arguing that grows into demanding and down on the floor kicking and screaming. But this day she stared back at me as if I’d learned how to fly and quietly walked out of the room.
I finished putting the baby down and then filled with curiosity at the silence walked back to the dining room where I found Breana sitting on the floor Indian style eating the sandwich right out of the garbage can. While I try not to think about the sanitation aspects of that moment, I do think about what happened. Breana’s conscience (the light of Christ) led her to do what I had tried on countless occasions to do and had failed at. To this day (she is now in her late 30s!) she tells me how much she hated it when I told her it was up to her. She fast learned that it is much easier to argue with someone you think is imposing something upon you than it is to argue with your own heart. I learned that instead of helping my children, my behavior actually interfered with their ability to hear the Spirit speaking to them.
As we trust the Spirit to guide and facilitate that Spirit to speak to our children, spouse, friends, co-workers or anyone else we are dealing with, things work out better. Yes, sometimes they will choose incorrectly, but even that can be a great learning experience if we allow it to be.

Agency - How It Works

In addition to spiritual consequences, the principle of moral agency also includes accountability and responsibility. To facilitate this, God has given us the light of Christ or what the world calls conscience. (See Moroni 7:16). Every healthy person has this light that tells them what choices are good and which are not. When we follow the light, we are at peace with ourselves and free to move forward. When we discard the light we are troubled and in chaos. We know we did something that betrayed our own heart (the light within us) and we don’t like living with the inner turmoil this causes. At this point we have two more choices. (1) We can repent and put ourselves back in the light, or (2) We can try all kinds of things to get the inner turmoil to stop. Two of the most common things we do to ease our conscience are to justify ourselves or try to forget what we have done. To justify ourselves, we rationalize that what we did isn’t all that bad, that other people are doing worse, that it is only this once, that we are really a good person–we just don’t always act that way, etc. We try to forget by indulging in pleasures. We eat chocolate, go to a movie, watch TV, go shopping, take a bubble bath, go golfing, or a myriad of other things that take our mind off what we have done. But pleasures are a diversion not a cure. The problem never goes away.
In either case if we choose not to repent, life becomes a constant battle. We are always working to prove ourselves, to increase our self-esteem, to create a self-image of us as a good person. It is a never ending job! It is emotionally and psychologically exhausting. On the other hand, when we do what is right or when we repent and set things right, the Spirit justifies or defends us. We don’t need to defend our own behavior because there is nothing to defend, and so we are at peace and in that state of peace we slowly take on the image of Christ. We become like Him.
Agency is a gift given to us to use. How we use it determines what we will become.

Agency--What It Is

Agency is one of the most important principles of the gospel and also one of the most misunderstood. So let’s start with a definition. Agency is the ability to make choices. But Elder Packer explained that all references to agency in the scriptures refer to a specific kind of agency–moral agency. Moral agency is the ability to make choices between good and evil. Frequently in the Church we confuse the principle of moral agency with the principle of freedom. Freedom is the ability to act on the choices we have made. For example, if I am choosing between drinking apple juice and orange juice, I use my non-moral agency but if I am deciding between coffee and milk I am using my moral agency because there is a commandment involved. If I choose grapefruit juice, but there is none available, my freedom is involved. As much as I might want it, I can't have it because there isn't any.
There are several reasons this designation is important. One of the most important is that there is ALWAYS a spiritual consequence when we use our moral agency. There are no spiritual consequences to using our non-moral agency or freedom. The negative consequences of bad moral choices are obvious, but I said ALWAYS a consequence. In King Benjamin’s great speech he tells us that the Lord requires "that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you" (Mosiah 2:24). The immediate blessing that comes from obeying God is increased faith. Faith is a gift of God predicated upon the law of obedience! (See D&C 130:20-21). As we grow in faith, we then are blessed with more spiritual gifts and increased gospel knowledge.
Another reason this designation is important to understand is that agency cannot be taken away from us. (I know you’ve heard that it can, but the person is using the word agency to mean freedom.) Lucifer fought a battle in the pre-mortal world to take away our agency and failed. He is not going to waste time doing that again. Instead he works on taking away our freedom. If he can limit our choices or through peer pressure, addiction, or other means entice us to negative choices, he has us in his grasp. Technically, we still have our agency. We can choose to repent and return to the light. However, as we loose freedom, it becomes more and more difficult to exercise our agency to follow the Lord.
Agency, then, is a mental process. It is the means God has given us to choose our way back to Him and returning to Him is done one little choice at a time.

PS - There is a wonderful autobiography in which Victor Frankl explains how he came to understand these principles while in a Nazi concentration camp. It is short and well worth the read. The title is Man's Search For Meaning.