The other day a friend startled me when she said, “I admire your ability to live in the present.“ The reason the remark surprised me is that living in the present isn’t an ability. It is a choice. Anyone who wants to can live in the present instead of worrying about or wishing for the future or fretting about or desiring to return to the past.I’ve pondered on her statement a lot since then. So many of us go through life assuming that the way we are is the way we are always going to be. How often have you heard someone say something like, “I’m a person who needs to know. . . “ or “I can’t function without. . . “ or “I have to have everything. . .” You can finish each of these phrases with hundreds of things, but the point is when we think in these kinds of terms we are denying the fact that we have agency and can change. It isn’t that people NEED to know; it is that they like to know and have chosen to like to know. It isn’t that people can’t function without; it is they have chosen not to be able to function without.
The reason some of us cling to these ideas is that we don’t want to change. Change takes effort and it is a lot easier to just say this is the way I am, and make everyone around us deal with it. But in many cases, change would make our lives so much more enjoyable. It would strengthen our relationships. It would bring us closer to the Spirit. It would make life easier. Yet we stubbornly cling to the idea that what we are can’t be changed.
Agency is a great gift, but it does us no good if we don’t use it.
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6 comments:
This reminds me of your Women's conference talk. Anchoring myself in the present is something I've been working on since I heard you speak. This was a really helpful post. Thanks for sharing it. :)
You know, it is really hard to change your ways...but I know that it's possible. I loved your Women's conference talk, it really inspired me to try and be better.
Also, your last blog about making music. The other day I was getting frustrated about some things and I decided to go upstairs and play some piano to let out some energy. I decided to play the happiest hymns in the hymn book and you know what? I felt much better faster. :)
Great point! Today in Relief Society we had the "Enjoying the Journey" lesson. So true, so true! What a great life!!!! I am so blessed. Also, I look forward to seeing you this Saturday. Yeah!
Wendy, Let me know how the Anchoring goes. I know it has made a big difference in my life.
Bethany, I've often resorted to the piano when I need a mood change, too. It is amazing how it works. There is something so powerful about good music. Thanks for the comment and for the kind words!!
Shannan, It is so good to hear from you! Thanks for the comment and I can't wait to see all of you this week either! It's going to be quite the reunion.
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