58 Years of Pain Gone!

Two years ago after I presented the last class of the Living in Truth seminar at the Brigham Young University Campus Education Week, several people came up to talk to me and as I spoke to them I could see a man who had been in the audience all week standing at his seat without making any indication that he was leaving. I finished talking to all the people, gathered up my notes and computer and started out of the classroom, but he was still there. I smiled as I passed him, but he didn't say a word. Instead he handed me a folded piece of paper.

I thanked him but still he didn't seem to want to talk so I moved on. Once out to my car, I opened the note. Across the top in big letters it said, "Thank you!" Below that is a little smaller script it said, "Fifty-eight years of pain gone!" There was no signature or any other words on the paper, but it brought tears to my eyes--tears of joy.

Awhile later I received an email from his wife telling me about the change the principles of Living in Truth had made in her husband and even later he wrote to tell me his story. It was a beautiful story of letting go of the past and moving on. I treasure that first note and his story. As a matter of fact it hangs on the wall over my desk at work where I can see it often. That isn't the only letter or life Living in Truth has changed for the better, but I often don't get to hear the whole story like I did that time. I just get notes thanking me or brief messages explaining the peace and happiness that has been found, but to hear the whole story made this experience stick out in my memory.

I know what a difference Living in Truth has made in my life and it was such a joy to find that someone else had been helped by the principles.

I've written off and on on Good News! about the principles of Living in Truth, but as 2013 begins I want to take a more systematic approach by starting at the beginning and explaining what it means to Live in Truth and give examples and stories of those whose lives have changed for the better by simply learning to take what comes and love it!

I hope you'll help me spread the Good News! by inviting others to drop in and learn what it means to Live in Truth!

This is the year to find peace and joy!

Winter From My Window

Winter From My Window

 

Usually when I look out my window, it is the vast blue sky that dominates the view. But today all I can see for as far as I can see is a thick, white blanket of snow. The grey sky blends in making the world unusually uniform. Every branch of every tree is a thick white stick, except for the evergreen trees whose never dying green peeks through bowed branches as if teasing me.
I love winter. As I write I'm cuddled in a warm electric throw Mr. J surprised me with a few weeks ago saying that he had the perfect gift for me and couldn't wait until Christmas. I'm so glad he didn't.I love it. I love the feeling of being cuddled and hugged. That's why I love my down filled coat that I finally get to wear after it's hung lifeless in the closet all summer.

But it isn't just cuddling and enjoying the beauty that makes me love winter. Going out in the snow (as long as you don't have to stay until you are chilled through and through) is an adventure and makes me appreciate coming back indoors all the more. I was running errands when the storm hit yesterday and I laughed all the way from the mall to my car as huge flakes of white chill settled onto my head and face. I didn't use an umbrella or hat because I wanted to feel it--to be part of it.

In short, I love winter... and summer... and spring...and fall. I think what I'm most grateful for is the variety. What a boring life it would be if were always spring.

Traveling in Truth

The farther down the street of Positivity you get the easier it is to travel.

At first Living in Truth is difficult. You are changing old habits and establishing new ones. You are changing old ways of thinking and thinking in new ways. It takes times to change habits and attitudes of thought, but with persistence it can be done.

The wonderful thing is that when we persist in Living in Truth, it begins to habituate so that Living in Truth is habit and the Truth is the way we think. Then Living in Truth becomes easy.

As Sharon Begley explains in her book, Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain,  

“The brain can change as a result of the thoughts 

we have thought.”

In other words there are actual physical changes that take place in us when we think differently and when those changes occur we are a different person. We act differently. Our habitual behavior is different. Our natural, first thoughts are different so that we aren't always fighting off what first comes to us and trying to replace it with something better.

When we Live in Truth we are different and so is the world around us!                  

Accept Yourself

Accepting who you are and what you are can be difficult, but it is a whole lot easier than trying to run away from yourself. Running is painful, and that pain is most assuredly unnecessary pain.  

Taking honest stock of who we are gives us the opportunity to decide what things can and should be changed about ourselves, what things we must learn to love, and rejoice in the things we already are grateful for.

For example, if taking honest stock reveals that we are gossipy, that can and should be changed. So we determine a plan of action and grow. If taking honest stock reveals we don’t like how tall we are, we let go of the “don’t like” and concentrate on all the advantages of our height. We learn to love what is. And in taking stock we especially note the good things about ourselves, the talents, abilities, beauties, and whatever else is good and right out loud so the world can hear we rejoice in those. 

Rejoicing is one way of thanking God. Denying we have any good is abusing God, and no one wants to be guilty of that!

Miracles

“For behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles; and I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and I work not among the children of men save it be according to their faith” (2 Nephi 27:23). I quote this verse of scripture because I’ve been thinking a lot about miracles lately. It used to be that when I heard that word, miracle, I immediately thought about sightless eyes being able to see or lame legs made strong. In other words, I thought about physical impossibilities changed into possibilities. Those kinds of miracles seem so incredible and yet I’ve never had trouble believing in them. I’ve seen some. I’ve experienced some. I know they can happen.


But lately I’ve realized that there are miracles far greater than blind eyes seeing that while being greater are at the same time more possible.  Those are the miracles of the heart, the miracles that change carnal people into saints, the miracles that make mortal beings into righteous Christ-like beings. Those are the most important and the greatest miracles of all and those are the miracles that every one of us need. But most important, those are the kind of miracles the Savior most often offers. Not all the blind who want to see will be made to see in this life, but ALL the carnal who want to be righteous will receive the miracle of change and be made saints.

A change of heart is a miracle that everyone who wants it and seeks after it will obtain. So why do I sometimes doubt that I can change? Why do I sometimes think others can't change? That is faulty thinking. We can change because there is someone who has the power to change us, if we seek after Him.

We Can't Change Anyone--But Ourselves

One of the things that pushes people into the Pit of Illusion is that they spend so much time trying to change other people. They are constantly consumed with thoughts of “My husband shouldn’t do that,” or “My wife doesn’t do this right,” or “My children should be more. . .” You get the idea. Their whole thought process is based around the idea that if those close to them would change, they’d be happier.

But when we Live in Truth we realize that we can’t—absolutely can’t—change anyone but ourselves. We have no control over others. That’s the Truth. Therefore, when we live in Truth we don’t waste time and effort trying to “fix” everyone around us. Instead we examine our own lives and spend the time developing strategies to implement Truth in our lives and work out our own salvation.

There are so many benefits to doing this. First of all as we grow and change, it affects others. Personal relationships are interactive and if we change the way we act, people have to change how they react to us. If we don’t get upset when they push our buttons, they quit pushing because there is no reward. If we stop being negative and critical they stop being defensive.

But there is more! Our changing sets an example and as others see the happiness and joy we experience from Living in Truth, they want it. They begin to seek after the same joy and happiness.

But that’s not all! When we stop worry, vexing and fretting about what others are doing or not doing, we uncomplicated our lives and find peace. We can drop the worry, the vexation, the stress and use that energy to work on our own happiness. We can turn the problems over to the Lord. That doesn’t mean we forget others, but that we trust that God will guide them. Our part is to pray for, set the example, and when appropriate teach others, but we can control or change them. Realizing we don’t have to fix others is very liberating.

Change

Yesterday was a busy one. Classes are over for the term, but I had to move my office. I’ve been in the old office for ten years and have so many fond memories connected to it that it ached a little to leave. But I only had to move down the hall and it only took a few hours to move everything. I swallowed back the hurt and am practicing loving what comes.


I keep telling myself this is a new adventure, that it is symbolic of new doors opening up for me, and I’ve got a new office mate to get to know better. I’m finding the silver lining and I may even find some gold!

Change is part of life; so we might as well enjoy it!

Weak Things Made Strong

When C. S. Lewis was young his tutor was an intelligent, straight forward man (Lewis called him the Great Knock) who didn’t allow small talk. Anything Lewis said was questioned, challenged, and scrutinized. Lewis loved this and it developed in him the great ability to rationally analyze and discover truth. However, as Lewis grew older he did the same things to others that the Great Knock had done to him; he refused to tolerate unsubstantiated opinions or irrational thought even in social settings. Needless to say, not all people appreciated being cross examined in this way, and Lewis didn’t realize how offensive this was. In short, he often upset people with whom he was conversing.

As He converted to Christianity, however, he began to realize how wrong it was to treat other people in such a demeaning way. One of his biographers, who knew Lewis well, says of this, “but at last he was able to turn it to glorious use, when the silliest dinner-table remark could be taken by him and manipulated gently and followed to conclusions of which you had never dreamed—and yet leaving you with the warm glow of undeserved pride at having initiated such a profoundly interesting discussion” (C. S. Lewis, Green and Hooper, p. 42).

This reminds me of the verse of scripture found in Ether 12:27; “If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

If we, like Lewis, recognize our weaknesses and then ask “How can I make something good out of this?”, the Lord will help and guide us to change our weaknesses into strengths.

After Christmas

Christmas day comes and Christmas day goes, but this year I have a feeling it will be staying with me all year long. It tended to do that last year and this year solidified it. Because of the surgery last year I didn’t get very involved in any of the traditional shopping and decorating or gift exchanging. I listened to the music, read the Biblical account of the birth of Jesus and had lots and lots of time to ponder the real reason for Christmas and experience its miracles.

This year I did a lot of the traditional things, but with getting sick two days before Christmas it was more of a repeat of last year. Again my nurse daughter and her husband the doctor came to my rescue. They mailed me an antibiotic that I took for the first time on Christmas Eve morning. I could tell it had started to work, but I was still too sick on Christmas Eve to go to my mother’s house for the traditional Christmas Eve dinner so the family went to mother’s and left me alone in a quiet house for the evening. I read the Christmas story and pondered the meaning of Christmas, did a little writing about my feelings, and just soaked in the Christmas cheer. It was wonderful. I had many thoughts, but the one that has stuck with me is that every story of a changed heart is a Christmas story.

This year I’m going to celebrate Christmas all year long.

Today is the Day

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. We’ve all heard that, but do we believe it? I like to ponder the implications. For one thing, it means that each day is a new beginning. No matter what happened in the past, this is a new day. I can’t change the past, but the Savior can atone for anything that needs to be changed. So I don’t need to worry or fret or become depressed because of it. A new day is like a clean slate that I can write upon. What has happened in the past is erased from the slate and I can write whatever I want on the slate that is this day. I just need to stay close to God and do what is right in this moment—the only moment I have control over.

Another thing that comes to mind when I hear this saying is hope. It rings with hope. I can repent. I can change. I can grow because of Jesus Christ. That is what hope is all about. Without Him there would be no hope, no future, but because of Him there is always hope. I just need to remember and cling to that hope instead of heeding the competing cacophony of doom and despair that fills the world.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life implies that my agency is key to my life. I am the one who chooses. I am the one with the power to make this day a good one. No one else can do it for me. So I’m going to make it the best day I possibly can. And tomorrow? Well, when it comes I’ll consider it. For now, I only need to think about today.

Spiritual House Cleaning

There is an interesting parable in the New Testament that I love. It goes like this: “When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith,I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation” (Matt 12:43-45).

What this parable is teaching us is that when we cast away a bad habit or repent of a sin, it is like “cleaning out the house.” But there is a danger here that we need to beware of. The old habit or sin is comfortable in the old place and will want to return. If it comes back and finds the place empty, swept out, it will move right back in to the empty spot.

What this means it that It isn’t enough to cast away the bad. We also need to fill the “house” with something good so that when the castaway sin or habit desires to return there is no room for it.

God's Mysterious Ways

I wish I had the words to express all I am learning from Grizelda. But I am afraid that much of what I learn comes to me without words, and I can’t always adequately express what it is I know. But one thing that stands out in this experience is what I am learning about spiritual growth.

Confronting Grizelda has been a journey through dark, troubling places. But there are patterns in nature that teach us about the value of dark, troubling places. A caterpillar makes its own dark, tight place in which it endures for awhile and then miraculously comes out a butterfly. Imagine going from crawling laboriously along the ground to suddenly being able to fly! A flower struggles for weeks or months in the dark, deep soil before finally pushing up out of the ground to blossom and bask in the sunlight. A baby gestates for nine long months in the dark, depths of a mother’s womb—crowded, tight, waiting for the painful escape.

Likewise, enduring the worry, the stress, the pain, the unknown is a kind of dark, troubling experience that I know is changing me. Just as I can feel exercise make my body stronger, while traveling this journey I feel my spirit growing stronger. I am leaving behind old habits and old ways of negative thinking that limit and restrict me. I know I am being transformed and though I have a long, long way to go still, I am exhilarated by the knowledge that the Lord loves me enough to change me into something better. I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m bragging. That is not the intent. I'm far from what I eventually want to be. Instead I am trying to share my joy at what I am discovering about how the Lord works.

I am beginning to understand what the poet William Cowper meant when he wrote, “God moves in a mysterious way, his wonders to perform.”

Taking Charge

The other day a friend startled me when she said, “I admire your ability to live in the present.“ The reason the remark surprised me is that living in the present isn’t an ability. It is a choice. Anyone who wants to can live in the present instead of worrying about or wishing for the future or fretting about or desiring to return to the past.

I’ve pondered on her statement a lot since then. So many of us go through life assuming that the way we are is the way we are always going to be. How often have you heard someone say something like, “I’m a person who needs to know. . . “ or “I can’t function without. . . “ or “I have to have everything. . .” You can finish each of these phrases with hundreds of things, but the point is when we think in these kinds of terms we are denying the fact that we have agency and can change. It isn’t that people NEED to know; it is that they like to know and have chosen to like to know. It isn’t that people can’t function without; it is they have chosen not to be able to function without.

The reason some of us cling to these ideas is that we don’t want to change. Change takes effort and it is a lot easier to just say this is the way I am, and make everyone around us deal with it. But in many cases, change would make our lives so much more enjoyable. It would strengthen our relationships. It would bring us closer to the Spirit. It would make life easier. Yet we stubbornly cling to the idea that what we are can’t be changed.

Agency is a great gift, but it does us no good if we don’t use it.

Aloha!

The Hawaiian word aloha is an enthusiastic greeting, but it is also a warm farewell. It is interesting that the same word means both “hello” and “goodbye.” But then again, maybe it isn’t so strange. The older I get the more I realize that every “goodbye” is also a “hello.” When we pass through the door of any stage of life, another door opens. We just have to be willing to go through the door, into the new room, and not look back with so much longing that we fail to see the opportunities that are now ours.

I’m at one of those points in my life right now. Grizelda has changed almost everything in my life from my career path to my daily routine. I can hear a door closing (no make that slamming!) behind me and the light isn’t on in the room I’m entering so that I can see what is in there yet. But while I wait for the light, I’m going to shout, “Aloha! Aloha!” with all the enthusiasm I can muster and let it warm me with the thought that the best is yet to come. “Hello!” to whatever that is!

Hurrah for Change!

As I explained in my last post when I first found out about Grizelda I wasn’t afraid, but I was very sad and at the same time filled with a paradoxical sense of excitement. Even though I kept hanging on to hope, from the beginning I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to teach this coming semester and I love teaching. I love being with my students. I love learning from them. I love the university environment and the faculty I work with. I love the woman I share an office with and my TA… well you get the picture. I didn’t want any of that to change and as I explained my situation that first couple of days to anyone, I begin to weep much to my dismay.

But again there was a great lesson in this for me. As things are unfolding, I’m beginning to realize that this is part of God’s plan for me. Too often we are so worried about change that we forget that change is the only realm in which possibility exists. If there is no uncertantity in your life or if everything we do is known and predictable, there is no growth. Life becomes stagnant. And yet change frightens so many of us. We cling to the known with a tenacious grasp and only seem to enter the unknown kicking and screaming.

The reason is that it is difficult taking that step into the unknown. But by detaching myself from the routine of my predictable world, I find myself in a new world of possibility. It is like doors have been opened to admit me to new vistas. Although the next room seems dark and strange, there is a peace there. I’m finding that with every step I take, a new little light appears—a light of new possibility and that is exciting.

As I said in the beginning even though this sadness existed and I did shed a few tears over it, from the beginning I’ve also felt a sense of excitement that the Lord has something new in mind for me. I am learning to trust in that feeling of excitement and to let go of the sadness. Which reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures that is found in Jeremiah 29:11. My favorite translation of this comes from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible and reads, “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”

Even if Grizelda had been malignant or I had lost my vision, the Lord would not do anything to me that would not be for my best good. Trusting in that fact and walking through the doors He opens for me can only lead to goodness. So I say, “Hurray for change! Embrace the possibility!”