Friday, January 2, 2009

Hurrah for Change!

As I explained in my last post when I first found out about Grizelda I wasn’t afraid, but I was very sad and at the same time filled with a paradoxical sense of excitement. Even though I kept hanging on to hope, from the beginning I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to teach this coming semester and I love teaching. I love being with my students. I love learning from them. I love the university environment and the faculty I work with. I love the woman I share an office with and my TA… well you get the picture. I didn’t want any of that to change and as I explained my situation that first couple of days to anyone, I begin to weep much to my dismay.

But again there was a great lesson in this for me. As things are unfolding, I’m beginning to realize that this is part of God’s plan for me. Too often we are so worried about change that we forget that change is the only realm in which possibility exists. If there is no uncertantity in your life or if everything we do is known and predictable, there is no growth. Life becomes stagnant. And yet change frightens so many of us. We cling to the known with a tenacious grasp and only seem to enter the unknown kicking and screaming.

The reason is that it is difficult taking that step into the unknown. But by detaching myself from the routine of my predictable world, I find myself in a new world of possibility. It is like doors have been opened to admit me to new vistas. Although the next room seems dark and strange, there is a peace there. I’m finding that with every step I take, a new little light appears—a light of new possibility and that is exciting.

As I said in the beginning even though this sadness existed and I did shed a few tears over it, from the beginning I’ve also felt a sense of excitement that the Lord has something new in mind for me. I am learning to trust in that feeling of excitement and to let go of the sadness. Which reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures that is found in Jeremiah 29:11. My favorite translation of this comes from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible and reads, “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”

Even if Grizelda had been malignant or I had lost my vision, the Lord would not do anything to me that would not be for my best good. Trusting in that fact and walking through the doors He opens for me can only lead to goodness. So I say, “Hurray for change! Embrace the possibility!”


Wendi said...

I like the picture you added to the last post. And the picture for this post is perfect as well. I'm thankful that you're learning to continue to embrace your situation. I will TRY to follow that example. :)

Anonymous said...

Sherrie! You're amazing! You are a great example to me!!! I hope you can go strong and know how to deal with this... me dealing with Spina Bifida, well i know how you feel I guess! I miss seeing you! I'm Aimee, Elizabeth Vargas's daughter. Yes! I'm still writing!! :D

Jessica said...

Sister Johnson,

This past semester in your class has been a joy that brightened the dark patches in the semester. As I've been reading your posts, I've become aware that I can erase the dark patches and make them all become bright. I can make it so that there are no dark patches . . . only light. You have strenghtened me so much that I'm making a New Year resolution not to fear anything. You are truly strong and a dearly beloved daughter of Father. You amaze me with your testimony, strength, and faith. You have let your light shine brightly before all men, and it has penetrated my heart. I feel peace and the Spirit. I don't often feel the Spirit from a computer, but your posts have brought the Spirit close to me. I have a quote from Pres. Monson - "Fear is a deadly enemy of progress." You've conquered that enemy! You will continue to progress, and as you do so you are helping others to progress. Thank you!
Jessica Watson (Fall '08 Book of Mormon)

cathy bubert said...

Dear Sherrie, You are a teacher! Thank you for teaching each of us through your knowledge and testimony of the gospel. You have a great gift - thank you for sharing it! Love and Prayers, Cathy

Sherrie Mills Johnson said...

Jessica, You are so right. It is an amazing thing to discover that the Atonement actually means the dark spots can be erased. I don't know how it is done, but I've experienced it and it is very real! Have a good winter semester! Sister J

Sherrie Mills Johnson said...

Aimee, Keep writing! I'd say you are a very, very brave young woman. Your mother has told me about the many surgeries you've been through and the pain you live with. Stay close to the Savior and everything will work for your good! You are a beautiful young woman!

Sherrie Mills Johnson said...

Cathy and Wendy, Thank you so much for your thoughts. You are wonderful!

costume jewelry said...

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Anonymous said...

I miss you so much! It's been what? Almost 5 years since I've seen you? I miss you. Oh goodness...
You are a big impact in my life! You are so strong! Our Savior will be by your side!
Yeah, surgeries suck. Haha. But I'm used to it! 20 I've had, and I'm not even that age! Wow. But anyway... When I go through surgeries, I just pray and I feel fine, because I know I'll be protected :)
Anyway, if you'd like I could email you some of my stories I've written. Hopefully they are better than the ones I wrote when I was 10. Haha. email me if you can.
Aimee. (Elizabeth Vargas's daughter)

Ps... me and my mom are by your side and praying for you. We love you!

Sherrie Mills Johnson said...

Aimee, YOU are the one who is strong. 20 surgeries! You are wonderful. Thank you for your prayers. They help a lot. And yes, I'd be happy to read your stories!

Anonymous said...

Haha. Me strong? You are! And you're the wonderful one!!!!!
Well email me when you get the chance and I'll show you stories :P