It is amazing how life changes when you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I realize none of us really do know what tomorrow will bring, but we live as if we do know. However, when you really accept the fact that you don’t know and can’t know, and that there might not even be a tomorrow you look at things differently. I found myself clinging to every little detail today. As we left early this morning I soaked in the sight of my little cul-de-sac and marveled at what wonderful neighbors I have. While waiting for the ophthalmologist, I noticed with great delight how the eyeglasses in the optical shop lined up so neatly. They made marvelous patterns like a row of dashes on a paper. And the things I am learning! Wow! Have you ever seen the inside of your own brain? Amazing! (By the way, the neurosurgeon said the rest of my brain is beautiful! I’ve been saying for years that beauty is on the inside.)
We visited doctors today and took more images. The choices of what to do are narrowing, but we won’t make a decision until Monday. The very best scenario for me right now is that the tumor is lymphoma. In this case lymphoma is actually better than a benign tumor because a lymphoma can be removed with radiation while the benign tumor will have to be cut out and there is a high possibility of blindness if they have to cut. If you had told me a few weeks ago that I’d be praying to have cancer I would have thought you were nuts.
Thanks for all your comments, prayers, and emails. I can't even tell you how much they lift and encourage and help me.
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1 comment:
It's amazing to me that you've kept your sense of humor--which made this post fun to read. I'm sure your positive perspective will help you in whatever the diagnosis is. We're praying and pulling for you! :)
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