On the cold carpet before I slept vexing thoughts began to bombard me. I had a high fever. I could barely function. But I had faith to be healed. So why wasn't I healed? I knew God had the power to heal me so why didn't He? Why was I so sick? Why hadn't the priesthood blessing pronounced upon me that I would experience a miracle come to pass? Why was God letting this happen to me?
But as the thoughts began to come, I began to recite a scripture the gist of which is found several places in scripture including Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God." Actually I wasn't quoting the whole verse. In my weakened state I just kept saying, "All things work together for good. This must be for my good. There is something about being too weak to get to the bed and something about being this sick that is good for me."
The thoughts finally faded and I slept. After awhile the cold awoke me and by then I had gathered enough strength to make it to the bed. But the feelings and encouragement that the words I had recited stayed with me and helped me endure. Over and over I kept repeating snatches of scripture such as, "All these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good" (D&C 122:7).
I was aware how much the words were helping me at the time. I could feel them lifting and helping me. But looking back now, I am even more grateful that I knew those words and was able to call upon them to give me the strength and encouragement I needed. It is only now that the trial is past that I am beginning to realize what I learned from this experience and why it was important that I learn those things. It is also only now and looking back that I realize that a miracle did happen. No I didn't heal instantaneously, but the miracle is I did not die. I came close, but I did not die and that is a miracle.
Last night Elder Bednar gave an amazing talk at a CES fireside on this very subject and if you did not hear it go to this site and watch or listen to it. It answers so many questions about the relationship between faith and adversity and encourages us to endure whatever adversity befalls us with faith, hope and charity.
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6 comments:
I can totally relate to your experience as I am nearing the end of the flu. It has been absolutely miserable! I want to thank you for sharing your truth tools bc I have really been practicing using them lately. They have helped me so much when my thoughts started getting dark during this sickness. I have felt really intune and have learned a lot this passed week from my suffering.
This morning, even though I was depleted, I needed to get a few things from the store (also to get my daughter out of the house, she was getting stir crazy). As I made my way back to the parking lot I knew there was just no way I could get the cart to the return, I was just beat. At the moment I needed, the person parked next to me showed up and said, let me help you and take that. I got in my car and began to cry, I was so thankful and relieved and felt so loved by my father in heaven for that small thing that felt HUGE and very personal in my moment of need.
My priesthood blessing also gave me a very important message that was special to me and I'm thankful I recognized it, as you did with your miracle. I'm so glad you lived because I still need you, as I know many others do! Thank you for what you do, you have helped me lots! (((((hugs)))))) & much love to you.
I am also reminded something from General Conference. Wo was is that said well-known scriptures become our friends in times of trial?
6L's, Thank you so much for adding so much. I'm sure I'm not the only one who gained from it and I do hope you are feeling better also! Thanks also for the words of encouragement!
Anita, Thanks for your comment. I don't remember who said it, but it is so true. Savored scriptures often save us.
Thank you Sherrie, I am on the mend! Have a great day!
I'm thankful that you survived and that you could recall powerful, inspired words to help you endure your trial well. I just watched that devotional talk. It was very powerful. Thanks for the link. :)
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