Friday, June 11, 2010

Joy in the Mourning

There are a few things that still amaze me about the ordeal I went through with Grizelda. The main one is the emotion I experienced. In Jeremiah the Lord says, “I will turn their mourning into joy, I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow” (Jeremiah 31:13). I had read that before and on an intellectual level thought I understood it. But before Grizelda I didn’t have a clue.

Especially the days before the surgery, before the pathologist could tell us what Grizelda was, by all accounts I should have been frightened, devastated, and worried. But I wasn’t. I was comforted. But there were some emotions going on such as sadness and remorse about things I hadn’t done yet in my life or that might change. The strange thing was how these sorrowful emotions mixed with the peace, comfort and even joy so that while I felt the sadness and remorse they were woven so tightly with the peace and comfort that they almost didn’t feel like sadness or sorrow. They were new emotions that I had never before felt. I’m not explaining this well because I just plain don’t have words to explain it. But I hope I’m at least conveying a small inkling of what I mean.

What it all boils down to is that God works in mysterious ways, but He works. At times now when I fall into the Pit of Illusion and experience all the negative emotions that exist there, I remember the peace I had when circumstances were the most apt to put me in the Pit and REALLY understand what Jeremiah meant. That helps me more back into Truth. Mourning can be joy and sorrow can be gladness when we are with the Lord in Truth.


Anonymous said...

This really hit home with me. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was overwhelmed with so many emotions, I couldn't tell anyone, even my husband, about the diagnosis. I had several friends who had had it, and none of them survived. It was amazing that after a few days of worrying, stressing, crying, and praying, this amazing sense of peace and comfort came over me and it never went away. Through all of it, I felt safe and protected like I had never before felt, and I knew I could face everything, no matter what it was. Fortunately, over time, everything worked out, I am fine and very grateful, but having the peace, comfort, joy and appreciation in such large quantities has literally changed how I see the world. Sometimes our very worst trials can bring us blessings that would not come any other way. What a wonderful Truth that has been to me.

Wendi said...

Thanks for sharing this perspective. :)