Wednesday, August 25, 2010

An Example of Living In Truth

When I give the Truth Workshop, I invited people to send me their experiences as they implement the principles of Living in Truth. The other day I received a story that with the permission of the author, I would like to share.

When my son became engaged he brought his fiancĂ©e home for dinner and to meet us. That night she sat in the living room with him all evening and never offered to help prepare or to clean up after the dinner. I didn’t mind at that point because it was her first introduction to our family and she was, after all company. But as the months wore on and they were finally married, the same behavior persisted. She never lifted a finger or offered to help, and I found myself getting upset and irritated. “She thinks she’s some kind of princess and I’m the maid,” I found myself thinking one night after an especially nice dinner I’d worked hard to prepare. And from there other thoughts bombarded me like, “She is so lazy!’ and “Didn’t her mother teach her anything?” But suddenly, as the negative thoughts churned inside me, I realized I was in the Pit of Illusion.

“All right,” I said to myself. “What is the truth here? She doesn’t help. So what are my options to deal with that Truth?” I thought a moment and then came up with three. I could accept the reality that she didn’t want to help and keep serving but without all the vexation. Or I could stop inviting them over for dinner. Or I could simple (and nicely) ask her to help. Since I love my son and enjoying seeing him and really I enjoy her also, I decided to try the third option. So the next time they came over I told her I was a little behind and asked if she’d be willing to help. “Sure,” she said. “What do you want me to do?” I asked her to peel some potatoes which she did while I stirred the pudding to a boil—which was so much nicer than me stirring to a boil! We had a great visit while we worked and soon dinner was ready.

The surprise came after the meal when she not only started to clear away the dishes without me asking, but said as we finished, “Thanks for letting me help with the dinner. That was fun.” And said it in such a way that it seemed to me she was saying more than those words; saying something like thanks for letting me into your world for the first time. I now feel more a part of the family.”

Since then I’ve sometimes had to ask for help again and other times she’s come in without me asking and offered to help. Either way, I’m not vexed at all and as far as I can tell either is she. As a matter of fact, our relationship is much closer and we’ve had a lot of fun while working together in the kitchen.

I’ve thought about this a lot since that night and wondered what would have happened if she’d refused to help even when I asked. I have no idea, but by staying in Truth the Spirit would help me know what to do next. But I do think that what I’d assumed was laziness or worse was simply her shyness and not quite knowing how to fit in.

If you have a story of Living in Truth you'd like to consider sharing, email the story to me at

1 comment:

6L's said...

this is a great example. i think we all too often assume things and later realize we wasted a lot of precious time in our negative and untrue thoughts. thanks!